PopRock Broken Lover
by Honey Beaver
Summary: Set after E leaves B in NM. She dies and beacomes a vampire. Joins another coven of vegy vampires and joins their band. will love blossem between her and the guitarist? will edward find out that she is still alive? would she take him back? please read :
1. Preface

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. But I wish I did.

Epilogue

~-~-~

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.  
-- Norman Cousins

~-~-~

Some say that dying is the most painful thing in the world. That no matter how long you live, you will never find another pain like it. They say it burns in you while you wait for your heart to stop beating. While you watch everyone you love suffer because of you. They say you see who you truly are and who you were meant to be. Everything you know that you are not.

Others say that dying is the easiest. That it is painless and sets your soul free. That you see your life flash before your eyes and you will no longer have any regrets. There are no more unanswered questions and no more unrequited love. You will know your heart and it will set you free. Some even go as far as to say that dying can mend a broken heart.

How very wrong everyone is...

Death is not the most painful thing that ever happened to me and neither was it the easiest. It didn't set my soul free and didn't answer all my questions. Unrequited love and a broken heart is still something that I have to live with everyday.

No, death is not the most painful, falling in love is. Death is not the easiest, falling in love is.

I might not have died from my broken heart but I did die after my heart was broken.

My name is Isabella Marie Swan, and this is the story of how I died.

~-~-~

AN: Please let me know if you like my story, it only takes a minute to review and would mean the world to me. Also, this is my first fanfic so please go easy on me :) Also I need a BETA, if you are interested let me know, thanks.


	2. Chapter One: Surprised Dreams

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

Chapter One: Surprised Dreams

~-~-~

Thou art gone from my gaze like a beautiful dream. And I seek thee in vain by the meadow and stream.  
~quote about Missing You by George Linley

~-~-~

_I was back in the forest again. Running and searching. Getting more and more lost in the dark trees. All alone as usual after _he_ left me. I was getting cold and I could feel the familiar feeling of dread building in me, trying to suffocate me._

_I stopped in the middle of the dark forest clutching my chest with my one hand and resting the other on my knees dry heaving from exhaustion and the panic. After I could finally catch my breath and try to calm down I sank back into the tree behind me and wrapped my arms around my body. Trying desperately to keep myself from falling to pieces yet again._

_After what felt like hours I finally looked up and realised that I was in _our _meadow. I hated how empty the meadow felt without _him_. It was like without him the meadow had lost all its magic. It seemed dark and empty now, just like me. _

_I started getting up, feeling the urge to start searching again building ever stronger inside me. I looked over the meadow now, the grass was longer than I have ever seen it. It looked ill, heartbroken, just how I felt. The grass wasn't its normal vibrant green, instead it was a pale yellow with brown. The flowers that I once loved so much were dead, black crumpling figures. Not the once beautiful rainbow of colours that they used to be. It looked like the meadow was dying without him being here. And then I realised it wasn't the meadow that was dying without him, it was me... I started screaming._

"Izzy, are you alright? What's wrong?" Marks' voice and strong arms broke me from my memories and with mortification I realised that I was still screaming. I could no longer sleep or dream but my memories were still enough to haunt me. No matter how fuzzy they are compared to my new memories, it was still the memories of _him_ that trapped me. That broke me and left me screaming.

I threw my arms around Mark and he pulled me close, murmuring sweet comforting words in my ear "Shhhh my Izzy, everything is alright, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I promise." I pulled away from him then a look of utter horror on my face "Never promise that, never" I said not looking into his eyes. I couldn't. He still loved me even though he knows I'm broken and could never give him my whole heart. I didn't have my heart, it was still with _him,_ but giving Mark the few broken pieces I did have was easy.

He made it effortless to love him. He had dark brown hair with lighter shades of blond and brown scattered in between that shone in the sunlight and always managed to hang in his eyes. He always looks like he just got out of bed. And I loved that about him. And yet I hated that about him. He had the same caramel brown eyes as _them_, but they weren't entirely the same. It was like it was totally different somehow. He was changed when he was 20 and he had the face of an angel, boyish yet still masculine and grown up. And when he smiles I can almost forget all the pain I feel.

"I'm sorry, Izzy. I just wish that you could believe me when I say it. I really do mean it." As he said the words so sadly I could feel them trying to shatter my already broken heart. I looked up at him through my eyelashes "I know you believe you mean them now Mark, but we both know that forever is a long time. You know I believe your soul mate is out there still." For a second he looked hurt by my words and then he smiled at me, a heart warming smile that reached his eyes and made me want to smile too. "And you Izzy know that I believe I already found her, but she's too stubborn to realise it." I couldn't help but smile up at him. Sitting here on his lap with his arms wrapped snug around me it was easy to pretend that maybe I could be his soul mate. That maybe we could be happy forever. He leant his head down then and gave me a small kiss on the lips, all his love for me shining through it.

When he pulled away I was a little disappointed. It was when he kissed me that it was easiest to believe that maybe we did belong together. That maybe I was just being stubborn, clinging onto something that would never be, that maybe even never was. Maybe Laurent was right, I was just _their_ pet. And like a dog to their master I was devoted to _him_. Maybe it was never real love. No, it was real. It was real to me, just not to _him_.

"What are you thinking about Izzy?" Mark was looking into my eyes, trying to read them no doubt. He already knew me too well. I sighed. "I was thinking about how devoted a dog is to their master. How they give them unconditional love, no matter how cruel the master is to them." He started laughing at me, a hearty chuckle really. "Oh Izzy, if you want to speak to Jake just pick up the phone, you know he loves hearing from you just as much as you like talking to him." I smiled at him again "Yeah I know he does, but it's Saturday, Charlie might be over at Billy's." He hugged me closer to him rubbing up and down my right arm. "I guess you're right, hmmm you could always send him a text? That way he can respond when he gets a chance and you won't wake him either" I grinned up at him, gave him a quick peck on the cheek and jumped up to get my phone of my bedside table, dropping my notebook I was writing and sketching in before my scream filled memory by his feet in the process.

Out the corner of my eye I could see him bend down and pick it up, looking at the picture of the dead meadow that I drew. He frowned at the picture and I realised I had written some lyrics by it. "You don't have to read that, it's not very good. It's just something that I was feeling, you know, when I was dreaming." I said with a scared look on my face. I hated sounding crazy.

Then he started reading it, his eyes not hiding any pain or anger. "In my field of paper flowers  
And candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)  
I lie inside myself for hours  
And watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)

Don't say I'm out of touch  
With this rampant chaos - your reality  
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
The nightmare I built my own world to escape"

He sighed "Izzy... It's beautiful. Are there any more lyrics for it?" I smiled at him and went to sit on his lap again. He put his arms around my waist and held me tight. Burying his head in my neck and hair as he spoke. "I'm here Izzy, I'm not going anywhere. I know you need some more time to heal, but I promise you, it can only get better. I care for you Izzy, more than what you allow me to tell you. And I know that you feel for me too."

"Yes, I do care about you. You know that, I wouldn't be here if I didn't, but you have to understand. I'm broken... and you deserve so much more than me. You deserve someone that can love you. And show you how much they love you without breaking down..." If I could still blush I would be beet red by now.

_Mark was leaning over me on my bed kissing me with so much passion and love, which was I still human I would have fainted. And I was kissing him back. My hands found the back of his head and started pulling lightly on his hair, tugging him ever closer to me. His lips parted slightly then and he deepened the kiss. His tongue searching for mine until they met. The kiss became more urgent then, his grips on my hips getting stronger and pulling my body closer to his. A slight moan escaped my lips as our bodies collided together. I could feel all of him pressing against me and I was sure he could feel all of me as well. _

_His hands started moving then. The one gripping my hips closer to his and the other moving over my ribs. He started kissing down my jaw and my neck, to the spot just under my ear that I loved. He let out a moan in my ear, crashing our bodies together again and again. _

_He moved his hand from my ribs to my jeans, rubbing ever so slightly over my sex. Testing me. When he saw I didn't react he took it as a good sign and moved his hand harder over me, moaning in my ear as he did it. Then multiple things happened all at once. Mark hit against my bedroom wall and I was huddled in the far corner of my room sobbing and holding onto myself once again. This always happened. Whenever Mark got too close to me in that way I would freak out and start dry sobbing. It wasn't that I didn't want him that close, because I really did. I would love nothing more than to make love to him and tell him I loved him but something always stopped me... _

_He always stopped me... His voice. I can always hear him in my head telling me he loves me and that he wants to wait until everything is perfect. I used to hear his voice whenever I was in danger as a human and sometimes even now I still do. His angry velvet voice yelling at me. Telling me I promised not to do anything stupid. But this voice I hear is filled with so much love that it breaks my heart just remembering._

"Izzy, don't even think like that. I don't need sex, all I need is you. Once you are ready to let go of all your past and pain, it will come. And when that day comes I'll still be here right by your side. I'm not going anywhere. Now lets go show the rest of them your new song, I'm sure they will love it" He picked me up bridal style and carried me out of the room.

~-~-~

"Surprise!" Everyone yelled as Mark carried me into the living room. It was a huge room with lots of light coming in through the big windows. The walls were painted a light yellow and the flush carpet was a light cream colour. There were two black loveseats, a huge three seater black sofa and a black recliner spread out across the floor with a big flat screen TV against the wall. The house was decorated extremely well and felt very warm and comfortable. House plants were everywhere as well as framed photos and paintings on the walls.

Today however there was a big banner hanging from the roof reading "Happy Birthday" and a huge stack of presents lying on the table. There was also a big pink birthday cake with one candle in it and some other party food. Then there were our special brand of caprisun juice, which in reality wasn't juice at all, but animal blood.

"Happy birthday Izzy" Susan said with a huge smile on her face. Today she had short pink hair and bright blue eyes. You see she has the ability to change appearances. It is thanks to her that I never had to worry about having red eyes before they turned gold. It is also thanks to her that I have a huge closet full of clothes. She loves shopping almost as much as someone I used to know a long time ago.

"Izzy, today a year ago you became a vampire, it's your vampire birthday. As of today you are no longer a new born." Jack explained with an amused expression on his face as he wrapped Susan into his strong embrace. He had short black hair and was just as beautiful as Susan and Mark. He and Mark were both taller than me but Susan is shorter.

"Oh" I said taken aback. "I haven't realised it's been so long already. Thank you everyone. And Mark?" he looked at me then with a raised eyebrow, waiting for me to continue. "You can put me down now." Everyone started laughing then as he put me on my feet and took my hand. They know how much I hate it to be carried around. "There is someone else here to see you." Susan said while bouncing up and down from excitement.

My eyes grew wide as Jacob and Seth came from around the corner with big grins on their faces. They haven't changed much over the last year. Jacobs' hair is cut short again and so is Seth's and they both seem a bit taller and stronger than the last time I saw them but yet still exactly the same. "Hey there Bells" Jacob said opening his arms for a hug. In less than a second I was hugging him close. "Oh Jake, I'm so glad you're here." I exclaimed while nuzzling into his chest. "Thew Bells, when last did you take a shower? You stink!" he laughed onto the top of my head. "You don't exactly smell like roses either Jake" I said punching him lightly on the chest before pulling away to hug Seth. "Hey there Bella" he said smiling at me after our hug ended. "So, do we get to eat the cake now?" Jake asked sounding impatient.

Two hours after the party started it was finally time to open the presents. Susan came bouncing towards me with a medium sized box in her arms wrapped in golden paper. "Open it, open it. Hurry!" She exclaimed not being able to keep her excitement in. I smiled at her and took the box opening it slowly. In it was a black hoody with Seattle written on the back in blue. "Ahm thanks Susan, I love it?" It came out more as a question than a statement. She huffed at me and rolled her eyes. "Look under it." I put the hoody down and saw a paper in the bottom of the box. I pulled it out and started reading aloud. "Dear miss Cooper. I am please to inform you that you have been accepted into Seattle high boarding school. We hope you will enjoy your junior year with us and will stay for your senior year as well. We have heard only good things of you and can't wait to meet you. Yours sincerely Mrs Peacock. Head of Admissions." I put the paper back in the box and looked around me at everyone. They were all smiling at me.

"We're going back to school?" I asked, not able to believe it, shock threatening to overwhelm me. Mark saw and pulled my back to his chest holding me tight. "We don't have to, if you don't want to? You have excellent control Izzy, and I can't see a reason why not. You don't have to worry about anything." He kissed the top of my head trying to reassure me. I looked up at him then, a huge smile on my face. "No, I want to. I just can't believe it. Thank you, all of you, this is the best present I could have gotten. When do we leave?"

"We leave in a week. Just long enough to get all our stuff packed and get everything ready." Jack said from behind me. "We can even still keep the band together there." Susan added beaming. "The school hosts lots of band nights where the students get to watch and participate. You're going to love it there Izzy! I just know it."

"Strangely enough, I think I will."

~-~-~

AN: So what do you think? Please let me know if you think I should continue? Next chapter will be Edward's POV. Not really sure how long it will be. I let my characters lead me. Also, what do you think of Mark, Susan and Jack's names?

Please review and let me know what you think. Even if it is just a you suck or keep going or something. It only takes a minute.


	3. Chapter Two: Life after death

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to.

Chapter Two: Life after death

~-~-~

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Kahlil Gibran

~-~-~

One year, six months, two weeks, three days and five hours ago I told my one and only love that I didn't love her anymore. That I didn't want her. I lied. But she doesn't know that. I left her crying in the forest by her house, screaming my name, and it broke my dead heart. I wanted to turn around and go back, tell her I was sorry and beg her to take me back. To tell her just how much I loved her and to tell her I'll never leave again. If only I turned back, then maybe I would have had the chance to still be with her. If only I turned back then maybe she would still be alive...

"Alice? What's wrong? What did you see?" Alice had a look of utter horror on her face and was visibly shaking. She turned her head towards me and I could see all the pain in her eyes. "Bella..." She said but broke off. I grabbed her by her shoulders, looking right into her eyes, her mind for once was a total blank. Not even one thought. "Alice, show me, I need to see."

Alice showed me Forks, Bella's house, there were about five cars parked in front of her house. Billy Black was there and his son Jacob who was crying, so was mike and his dad, Angela's dad was there too. Then in the vision I could hear Billy talking to Charlie. "I'm sorry Charlie, we still haven't found her. I don't think we will... The doctor thinks it best to pronounce her"

Then the vision suddenly changed to Bella's truck wrapped around a tree, a glowing fire surrounding it. There were maybe 20 different people standing around it, trying to put the raging fire out but not succeeding. Then everything went black again. Alice looked broken and I felt dead.

"How long?" I asked knowing that she would understand. _I'm not sure Edward, you told me not to look for her so I don't, and this vision came out of nowhere. But I don't think we have long. I don't know if she is... I mean I can't tell if she was in there or not. I don't think she was. _I looked at her like she was crazy "Why do you say that?" _I didn't see her, normally with visions like that... I would have seen her... her last moments Edward, I don't think she's... dead. _I cringed at the word and I could tell that she believed every word she thought. She believed my Bella was still okay, but I had to know. I can't risk her life again. I would go back and never leave her again; I would make her safe no matter what. I would stay with her forever even if she didn't want me back.

Alice finally spoke aloud "I'm going with you." And before I could argue with her she added "She is my best friend Edward, I love her too." I let out a big sigh and looked around at my family that were now standing beside me and Alice. "Go get her son, bring her home" Carlisle said with a big grin on his face. "Go get my daughter and tell her we love her." Esme said full of motherly love towards me and my Bella. "Take care of Alice for me, she has my heart you know" Jasper said aloud _Go now and find your own Edward_ he added in his head. I couldn't help but smile at my family, even if we were missing two members, Emmett and Rose was on another honeymoon.

I finally found my voice. "Thank you everyone. Alice lets go, we have to hurry." My little pixie like sister was already at the door waiting for me, bouncing on the balls of her feet from excitement and anxiety.

It took us one whole day to get to forks and like usual it was raining. The streets were empty, a good sign and the only car in front of Charlie's house was his police cruiser. I couldn't help but smile at Alice who looked just as relieved as I felt. We were going to be on time. Bella was still safe and I would spend the rest of my existence begging her to forgive me.

We pulled into the driveway and made our way to the front door. Alice was already knocking when I got there, unable to hold her excitement in any longer. She smiled up at me and I smiled back at her. Charlie opened the door and his face was that of numbness. No emotion shining through at all, not even anger at seeing us. He moved out of the way gesturing for us to follow him inside. He led us to the living room and the first thing I noticed were all the beer cans on the coffee table and that the TV was off. He sat on the chair and picked up one of the cans. Alice looked up at me then and she looked scared. Charlie grunted and motioned for us to sit. We sat down on the love seat looking at Charlie. His mind wasn't blank, but it was numb, I couldn't read any of his thoughts. I wonder how much beer's he has had today.

With a heavy sigh he started to speak, not looking at me or Alice, but instead looking at a notebook lying on the coffee table next to the beer cans. "I'm surprised you heard so quickly... Not even everyone in Forks knows yet." Alice looked up at him, her eyes wide unable to hide her fear. "Heard what so quickly, Charlie?" She asked her voice shaky. He looked up at us then and I could see his eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he had been crying for hours on end. Then it finally hit me, we were too late. "There was an accident yesterday... Bella drove of the road... she hit a big tree and the truck set on fire. The doctors pronounced her... dead... we never found her body... they said that the fire was too hot, that she just melted away..." He spoke in a dead lifeless voice, tears running down his cheeks. Alice started sobbing uncontrolled next to me. We thought we were in time but we were too late. She was gone... My Bella was gone and I could never tell her how much I loved her ever again. My Bella... She died thinking I didn't love her. I started sobbing then, long heartbroken sobs. I slid down to the ground and pulled my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms tight around me to try and keep myself together.

Charlie got up from his chair and sat next to me on the floor with his arm around my shoulder. "She loved you too, you do know that right? I don't know what happened between the two of you in the forest that day, but I do know she never stopped loving you. And I can see you never stopped loving her either." I sobbed even harder after he said that and he shoved the notebook he was staring at earlier into my arms. "It's a diary of sorts, she started it after you left, and it's full of pictures and poems. Her thoughts and even song lyrics. I think she would have wanted you to have it." He gave my shoulder a squeeze and went to comfort Alice on the love seat. "Thank you." I managed to choke out after what felt like hours.

We ended up staying for the funeral. The whole town was there, everyone but Jacob Black, who I was told was her best friend since I left. His father said he was too sad to come and that he would make it up to her one day. We buried an empty coffin that Charlie, Sam, Mike and I carried. Everyone's minds were full of grieve for their lost friend. Charlie and Renee were holding onto each other as the coffin was lowered into the ground and covered with dirt. Slowly everyone started leaving until it was just Charlie, Alice and I. I sat next to her grave stone running my hand over the fresh soil. Charlie turned around then and walked away. Promising that he would come and visit as much as possible.

Alice bent down next to me and whispered in my ear. "I know what you're thinking Edward, and Bella wouldn't want you to do it. She would want you to live on and be happy. Think of it as her last wish. Think of it as how you can make it all up to her. She would want you to live Edward." I gave her a hug then and said "I know Alice; we actually had a similar conversation about that a long time ago." _When we get back we're moving here, we need to be closer to her. I want to be able to bring her fresh flowers every day. _"No Alice, I can't stay here in Forks without her." _How about Seattle then? It's still close enough to run here and back and the boarding school there is supposed to be really good. I heard the love musicians there. _"Fine Alice, Seattle it is."

_Hey man, are you okay? _Jasper, I always forget how much my pain affects him. I nodded and he raised his eyebrows at me, clearly not believing me. "I'm fine Jasper, I was just thinking." _You were thinking about her again? I wish I could help you Edward. But no matter how strong feelings of happiness I send to you, it never seems to work anymore. And it's my entire fault... _"No! Jasper, how many times must I tell you this? It's not your fault, it's mine. Please stop blaming yourself." _I'll try Edward. _"Good, that's all I'm asking." He gave me a sad smile but by his thoughts I could tell that his guilt was lessening. He was listening to me. Good.

"Are you coming to class? Alice said she heard there will be some new students arriving soon." Another pang of guilt hit me at his words. Alice didn't use her gift to see the future anymore. The only visions she now got were one's that she had no control over. She said it hurt too much to use her gift. She didn't even shop as much as what she used to. Jasper gave me another worried look. "Yes, I'll be going to class, and don't worry, I'll be alright." I gave him a small smile that seemed to reassure him and he smiled back before leaving our room. It was times like these that I missed Emmett the most. Rose didn't want to go back to school again so she and Emmett are travelling all around the world for a while. Last I heard they were somewhere in Brazil.

All of a sudden Alice burst through my door "Come on Edward you're going to miss your first class if you keep sitting around in your room." She pulled me up by the arm and started dragging me out the room. "Alice, it's still half an hour till first period." I moaned. "I know but the new kids are coming today." She practically sang as she dragged me out of the room. "So what Alice?" She gave a small huff and stopped pulling me. _Edward, they are in a band! They are performing at the Battle of the Band show tonight at school. I hear they are good! _I sighed at her, she was so excited because she didn't know what they looked like or if they were as good as she heard they were. "Why don't you just look today Alice? Once wouldn't be the end of the world would it?" I asked, already knowing the answer. We have been having this conversation almost every day for more than a year now. "You know how I feel about that Edward, and besides, it's more fun this way!" She grinned up at me and for once she truly did look happy. I smiled back at her, picked up my book bag and let her drag me to the big cafeteria or as I like to call it, the mess hall.

We sat at our usual table, there were 8 seats but no one ever sat with us. Just like back in Forks, the humans knew to keep their distance from us. They knew we were dangerous or at least in the back of their minds they did. Unfortunately just like back in Forks, I was still the single Cullen, or as they seemed to call me the hot Cullen brother. I felt a shiver go down my spine and Jasper laughed. He knew my feelings well enough to know what and who I was thinking of. Tina... She was worse than Jessica, Lauren and Tanya combined. _Don't look now but she's on her way over here man. _I felt my body tighten into a defensive position. She was a typical dumb blond or at least that's what Alice tells me. She had long blond hair and clear blue eyes. She was extremely beautiful by human standards.

"Shove off Tina; he's not in the mood for you today." Alice scolded her. "Actually I came over here to see you Alice, have you heard who's joining our school?" Tina asked her. It was clear that she was just as excited as Alice about the new people to come to school. "Oh sorry Tina. Yeah I have I can't believe they are going to go to school here in Seattle. I mean they could go anywhere they wanted!" Alice squeaked at her. "What is so special about the new kids?" Jasper just had to get them started. "Oh my God! I can't believe you said that! They are just about the hottest band ever." Tina screeched. "Well if they are as good as you say why don't they have a record deal?" He countered. Now I was actually curious too. If they were really good why didn't they have a record deal and albums out? I raised my eyebrow at Tina to ask my silent questions. She let out a huge gust of air and huffed. "They don't want any contracts now, they want to finish school first. Two of them are seniors and the other two are juniors." Well I guess that is a good reason. "Oh, what are they called anyway?" I was really curious now. Music was a passion of mine. "They are called Faceless Angel and they are the best" Alice sang happily from my side, probably just happy that I'm taking an interest in something. "Yeah, apparently one of the members lost someone close to them. That's where the name comes from." It seems we all lost someone important then.

The door to the mess hall opened then and two of the most beautiful people I have ever seen walked in holding hands. The girl had dark red hair, almost purple(ultra violet) that went just over her shoulders. Her skin was very pale but not sickly, almost like my own. But she had dark blue eyes, she couldn't be one of us. The guy she was with had short black hair and brown colourful eyes. His skin was the same as hers, as ours. They couldn't be, could they?

_Edward, are they? Are they vampires? _Alice's mental voice pulled me from my thoughts and I shrugged my shoulder to her. "I don't know." All of a sudden Alice leapt up and went right over to them, Jasper and I followed close behind just in case. She beamed up at them. "Hallo, I'm Alice Cullen; this is my brother Edward and my boyfriend Jasper Hale." They looked a little shocked at seeing her but recovered soon enough. "Hi there, I'm Susan Cooper and this is my boyfriend Jack Stevens, our siblings are around here somewhere as well, Izzy and Mark." _Edward, can you read their minds? _Alice asked in her mind. I looked left and then right, moving just my eyes. _Strange. _She leaned into the one called Susan. "I know what you are." She said so low I could barely hear her. Susan started laughing at her. "I know what you are too Alice but don't worry, we're also vegetarian." I looked at her then. "But your eyes?" I couldn't help asking. She laughed another tinkling laugh. "I can change appearances, makes doing my hair a lot more fun don't you think?" Alice smiled a huge smile at her then bursting to the seam with questions for Susan.

The bell rang then to signal the start of first period and we all went our separate ways. But not before Alice made Susan promise that her and her family will sit with us for lunch. Something tells me lunch might actually be interesting today.

~-~-~

AN: Thank you so much to the 3 people that have reviewed so far. I can't tell you how happy it has made me. As always please review, it only takes a minute. I could really use your opinions on the story.


	4. Chapter Three: Sparks

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to.

Chapter Three: Sparks

~-~-~

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."

~-~-~

BPOV (Izzy/Bella)

"Come on Susan, we want to leave! You can just buy anything you forgot." Mark yelled up the stairs smiling at me. He took my hand and led us to the Land Rover waiting for us outside. We got into the back seat and I turned my back to him, resting myself against his side. He sighed a happy sigh and turned our shared iPod on. One ear bud in his ear and the other in mine. We spent the five hour trip to Seattle like that. Him watching me while I make sketches in my notebook and me lost in my hazy human memories of school.

"We're here guys." Jack called from the front seat. I put my pencil down and sat up straight to look around. We were in front of a huge set of buildings. The one right in front of us had a sign saying "Office" and the big building to the left had a sign reading "Girl's Dormitories". The big building on the right's sign read "Boy's Dormitories". Behind the office building there were more buildings that must be the classes. "Look guys that must be the stage for tonight!" Susan said all excited pointing behind us to a big wooden stage with a sign across the top that read "Battle of the Bands". There were some people there setting up all the instruments and doing sound checks.

"We'll since we already have everything we need, I guess we can split up and look around the campus? We can meet up at lunch?" Jack asked eyeing me suddenly. I smiled brightly at him. "Sounds wonderful, and stop worrying, I'll have Mark with me." Mark pulled me against his chest and smiled at his brother. "Always." He said into my ear and I smiled up at him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. He held me closer to him then and I could almost feel the happiness radiating out of him from that small gesture. Jack took Susan's hand and led her to the building right behind the office. The cafeteria if the map we got in the post was correct.

"Come on, let's go check out the stage for tonight and then I'll help you unpack before class." Mark said while grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the stage.

~-~-~

The first few classes went by in a haze. I was so excited about coming back to school that I never thought about all the old memories it would bring to the front of my mind. There was a familiar feel of electricity in the air. The kind I always felt when I knew _He _was near me. But I knew it wasn't coming from him. He wasn't here. It was just a result of remembering Forks High in so much detail. By the time lunch came around I felt tired and just wanted to leave. Mark led me by the hand through the school grounds stopping just in front of the cafeteria door. "Wait here, I'm just going to go tell Susan and Jack that we're leaving. That we'll see them after school and that everything is fine." I looked up at him, thanking him with my eyes as I nodded in agreement. He really does know me too well.

The electricity was even stronger here. I could feel it tickling my skin and bringing another wave of memories over me. A few minutes later Mark came out of the building looking a little worried but smiled as he pulled me to his side and walked me back to my room.

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

I found myself feeling excited for lunch to come around. It was the first time I felt excited since... the accident. It was also the first time in a year and a half that I felt the familiar electricity in the air. I couldn't place where it was coming from, after all Bella wasn't anywhere near me, she never would be again... The bell signalling lunch rang and pulled me from my thoughts. I got up as quick as possible and made my way to the mess hall as fast as I could without the humans realising I'm moving too fast. I ended up being one of the first one's in. I got a tray of food, my prop, and went to sit at our table to wait for Alice and Jasper to come in.

_Someone sure seems eager? _Jasper asked in his head raising his eyebrows at me. "Hey Edward, you got here fast today?" I shrugged at him. "Light traffic." _Wow Edward Cullen beating me to our lunch table, that's a first. _I could hear the excitement in her mental voice and gave her a small smile. "Guess I get curious too sis." She grinned at me and hugged me tightly. _I love you big brother. _"I love you too Alice, my little pixie sized sister."

"I hope we're not interrupting anything?" Jack was standing in front of our table holding a big tray of food for him and Susan. "Not at all!" Alice beamed. I haven't seen her this happy in ages and by the look of sheer delight on Jasper's face I'm guessing he hasn't either. They took a seat across from the three of us and Susan and Alice immediately started talking about clothes and hair. Jasper was making conversation with Jack, I could tell they would all be good friends.

I tried to read their minds again but I still couldn't hear anything. How strange. The only time that has ever happened was with Bella... Maybe her mind isn't the only one that works on an AM frequency? Maybe my gift is disappearing as I learn to block out people's thoughts more and more? "Why can't I hear your thoughts?" I couldn't help it, I just blurted it out without thinking. The four people at my table starred at me like I grew an extra head. Probably because that was the first thing I said since they got here. Jack was the first to speak, a look of confusion on his face. "You can read minds?" I nodded. "Amazing, I have heard that some of us can do that, but I've never met someone that actually could." I shrugged at him looking him in the eyes with a piercing gaze. "That doesn't answer my question." Alice looked shocked at my words. "Edward! I'm sorry; he doesn't come across someone he can't read very often." She apologized to them and they just smiled at her. "It's okay Alice, we understand." Susan told her while Jack continued. "Izzy is a shield, she can block herself as well as anyone else she wants to, from any powers regarding the mind. She normally needs to be close to do it, but because she knows our... flavour if you will, she can block us from greater distances." Alice and Jasper looked shocked by his answer. "Thank you for answering me." I said while thinking over his words yet again. Izzy... I would love to meet her. Find out how her power works. And if it is anything like why I couldn't hear Bella.

A blond guy walked over to our table then, looking on the defensive. He knew what we were and it's clear his friends didn't tell him about us yet. "Mark! You finally made it, if I didn't know better I would have thought you and Izzy got lost. Where is Izzy? Is she getting food?" Susan asked the guy as she started looking around the big hall for her sister. That's when I felt it, the electricity, only much stronger. It was like my skin was tingling. "Ahm no, she's waiting outside. She's not feeling herself. I think it's all a bit too much for her today." He told Susan looking over me and my family. "No! She hasn't..." Susan asked her eyes full of horror and I knew what she was thinking and asking without having to read her mind. "No, no! She's fine. You know she has excellent control. Even better than us. It's just being back in school. I think it's bringing back some painful memories and I just want to take her to her room. " His eyes were filled with pain and concern as he spoke about her painful memories. "Oh... I just wish I could make her feel better. She's always so sad..." Susan looked pained as she spoke to Mark. "Maybe we could help? Jasper can control emotions. He could make her feel happy?" Alice spoke up and it looked like she shared her new friends concern for her sister. "No, I think it's better that I just take her back to her room. I don't think having a broken heart is a real emotion. But she's healing and getting better, it just takes time." Mark spoke the words with so much hope, a small smile playing at his lips. "Okay, tell her I'll be there after school to help her get ready for tonight. And that she better be in a better mood. Tell her I'll let her wear sneakers if she smiles." Susan said with a grin and I couldn't help but smile. Susan is so much like Alice. Mark gave her a small smile in return and gave his brother a look that clearly meant that he was to be told about us when school is over. He turned around and walked out the door. After he was gone I could feel the electricity less and less until it was just hovering in the air.

Jasper's curiosity got the better of him then and he started speaking. "May I ask what happened to your sister? I thought Mark was her mate? He has such a strong love for her. How can she have a broken heart if she has him?" Susan frowned and Jack spoke up. "Mark is not her mate. She lost her mate a while ago. She never speaks of him or his coven. Mark does love her and she cares for him as well but they are just dating. He hopes that one day she would learn to love him as well." Wow so she lost her mate. I know how she feels and Mark was right, Jasper won't be able to really help her. "I'm sorry to hear that. If I may, you were clearly worried about her around the humans?" Jasper asked and this time Susan answered. "Yes, I shouldn't have been but I couldn't help it. You see, she is only just over a year old. But Mark is right, she has exceptional control. On her first hunting trip she caught the scent of a human and started chasing in their direction." Alice let out an audible gasp and clapped her hand over her mouth, clearly intrigued in her story. "No, no, she didn't attack him. She stopped mid hunt, held her breath and ran in the opposite direction." Susan replied, her eyes shining with pride. "But how?" Jasper was shocked, he couldn't believe it. That a newborn could show such restraint while he still struggles to be around humans puzzled him. "When we asked her how she did it, she just replied that she could have known the person and that she hates the smell of human blood anyway." Susan laughed in a musical laugh and we all joined her, whether it was because it was funny or because we were shocked I don't know. "This isn't really our story to tell, so how 'bout you save any other questions for when you meet her?" Jack asked with a smile. He wasn't mad that we were curious; he just wanted her to answer then herself. We all smiled at him.

"Are you guys going to the Battle of the Bands show tonight? Please say you are?" Susan asked, suddenly looking like she couldn't sit still. Alice beamed at her. "We wouldn't miss it. Edward might play one of his songs tonight." I frowned at her. "Alice! Stop telling people that. I haven't made my mind up yet. You know I haven't played in a very long time." Alice instantly looked sad. "Not since..." I gave her a sad nod. "Yes Alice, not since..." Jasper feeling Susan and Jack's curiosity sighed. _Would you like to tell them or should I? They really want to know. _I sighed at him and started. "I will Jasper." I looked at them then. "I also lost my mate and Alice lost her best friend, Jasper a sister. Our family hasn't been the same since we lost her. Alice doesn't shop as much, Jasper doesn't envelope everyone in happiness anymore, our father works more, our mother locks herself in her room sobbing almost every night and our other brother and sister almost never come home anymore." Alice looked like she wanted to cry. "And Edward hasn't played the piano since." She sniffed. "No I haven't, but if you really want me to, I'll play for you sis. Just give me time." She gave me a small sad smile and nodded.

"We're sorry for your loss. But if you do decide to start playing again, we could really use someone on the keyboard for our band." Jack said smiling at me. "Thank you, I'll think about it." The bell rang to signal our next class and we all slip up promising to go watch tonight.

~-~-~

BPOV (Bella/Izzy)

When we reached my room I immediately went over to my bed and started sketching in my notebook. After an hour Mark got up from the chair he was sitting on and came over to sit by me on the bed. "An angel huh?" I looked up at him and shook my head. He frowned and looked at the picture again. "_I can feel the spark in the air. Your electricity crashes down on me. It surrounds me. Consumes me. It's all in my head. You can't be here. You're not here. _Hmmm..." I looked up at him again and bit my bottom lip. "I'm sorry..." He smiled a small smile. "Don't be sorry Izzy." He gave me a big hug. "Susan told me to tell you to cheer up, that she'll let you wear your sneakers tonight if you do." I gave him a big smile. "That means we're singing the sneaker song?" he laughed. "Yes, I guess it does. We get to sing three songs. If you want you can pick one to sing? And if it's okay, I'd like us to sing Hazel Eyes, I really love that song." I smiled again. "I would love to pick one, and that song sounds perfect. I think I know which one to pick."

~-~-~

After school finished Susan did come over to help me get ready and I even got to wear my sneaker outfit. I was wearing very small white shorts, bright pink shirt with a second sparkling purple shirt over, a grey zip up jacket with a bright pink collar and flower pattern on the left chest. I also had on a gold hat with a white stripe. I had white tube socks, which went up to my knees, on with pink and gold stripes. And white sneakers with pink stripes that glow. My hair even matched. Since coming to school Susan had made my hair black with pink highlights. My hair was shorter, up to between my shoulders, straight and with a lot of layers. My eyes were hazel and everyone thought they were beautiful, to me they just looked dead.

Susan was wearing dark skinny jeans with a very tight red shirt and black jacket, she also had glowing sneakers on but hers were red. The guys were both wearing dark jeans and dark blue t-shirts and a black jacket with black sneakers. "Here is your jacket for the second and third song, I also put in some black heals and dark skinny jeans. Don't look at me like that Izzy; we want to match as a band for at least two songs." I sighed and nodded. Since becoming a vampire I didn't really mind wearing heals anymore. I wasn't as clumsy anymore and my feet didn't get tired anymore. "Are you guys ready? The first person is just about to go on." We both nodded and followed Jack out of the dressing rooms by the stage.

~-~-~

AN: Sorry to stop it there guys, but I didn't want the chapter to go on too long. Next chapter is the Battle of the Bands show and Edward will finally see Izzy. Will he recognize her? And would she want to see him? Let me know your thoughts on the story. If you have any questions you can leave it in a review or pm me. I just also wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed.

Next chapter should be up later tonight or otherwise tomorrow. I just can't stop writing :). But anyhow, please review, it only takes a minute and makes me very happy. Pretty please with your favourite Cullen on top? *Makes doe eyes.*

Oh and before I forget, the picture Izzy drew will be an my profile as well as her sneaker outfit and her hair.


	5. Chapter Four: Second First Encounter

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics. Please listen to the songs on YouTube. You can skip the first two but listen to the third one at least. Also if my characters are a little, well out of character just remember that they all went through a lot in my story. Going through things like that changes you.

Chapter Four: Second First Encounter

~-~-~

_"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."_

_Margaret Mitchell_

~-~-~

BPOV (Izzy/Bella)

I started breathing really fast while walking up and down in the waiting area of the stage. We were up next and I was nervous. I have never been nervous before. _What is wrong with me?_ Why is everything so much harder today? Why do I feel the static in the air when no one else can? I let out a harsh gust of air while grabbing my hair and biting my bottom lip. Frustrated. Confused. That was only a few of the feelings I was experiencing.

"Elizabeth Maria Masen Cooper" I flinched at Susan's use of my new full name and knew I was making her nervous too. "I'm sorry Susan, I'm just nervous. I don't know why." She let out a sigh and stopped me mid step. "Well stop trying to make me nervous too. You have nothing to worry about Izzy. You know they'll love us. People always love your songs." I gave her a small smile. "Thanks sis. I promise I'll try." She grinned up at me. "You better, or else I'll get Mark to tickle you again. Maybe that would cheer you up for the first song?" She gave me an evil smile and before I could respond I felt two hands tickling my side. I started laughing and squirming in Marks arms trying to pat his hands away. "Okay, okay, I'm cheered up!" I let out in a shaky voice, trying to calm my breaths that I didn't really need anymore. "You better be. I could always keep tickling you." Mark gave me a big grin and I smiled back at him. "That won't be necessary but thank you." I reached up on my toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Next up is a band called Faceless Angel. Please give them a warm welcome." The music teacher just announced our turn to go up on stage and I could feel the full blow of panic washing over me again. My body started shaking and it got harder to breathe. "Come on, we're up." Susan called at me from the side of the stage and I could see the boys were already there. Jack at the drums and Mark with his guitar. Susan was holding her bass guitar in her hands to carry out with her. I took a deep breath and called after her. "I'll be right out. Just start without me. I need to fix my strap." She looked at me and frowned. "Izzy, your guitar is already on the stage. Put your microphone on, take a few deep breaths and then join us." She walked onto the stage then and I could hear Mark saying something to the crowed but I couldn't make out the words. I started taking big deep breaths to calm my nerves and surprisingly it worked. I put my microphone on and looked out to the stage.

They had already started the song and I missed my cue. Susan was giving me an irritated glare and Mark looked worried but tilted his head towards the stage to show me to come out. I sent them all an apologetic glance and stepped out onto the stage as they restarted the song. On time for my first line this time.

~-~-~

APOV (Alice)

"Come on! We're going to miss them! The show has already started." I called for the boys from the stairs, knowing they could both hear me. "Relax Alice, we're here." Edward was the first to reach me, Jasper following close behind. They were wearing jeans and a dark t-shirt each with their sneakers. I scoffed at them. "What happened to the clothes I put out for you?" Jasper gave me a sorry smile and I knew he was doing it for Edward. He always does his best to make Edward feel better since... No, I wasn't going to think about that anymore, tonight is about having fun and supporting our new friends. "Thank you Alice, I know it's hard for you too. But you're right, tonight is about enjoying ourselves the best we can." Edward gave me a real smile and pulled me out the building and into the front part of the crowed in front of the stage. Jasper was standing on my left and Edward was on my right and for once everything felt good again. Not perfect but not like as bad as what it usually was.

"See, we made it just in time." Edward gave me a smile and I raised my eyebrow at him. He just pointed his head towards the stage for me to look. "Next up is a band called Faceless Angel. Please give them a warm welcome." Mr Petersen who I knew was the music teacher announced and everyone started clapping including Edward and Jasper. I gave them both a big smile and clapped too. Jack was the first to walk onto the stage and went to sit by the drums. Next out was Mark and he had a red guitar strapped around his neck. They were both dressed well enough and I realised that Susan must work around their tastes in clothes.

"Someone is extremely nervous. Do you think I should try to help?" Jasper asked Edward and I as we saw Susan walking out in a very nice outfit. I saw Edward nod to Jasper and could feel the calm he was sending out towards the stage. "Hi there everyone. So, this is our first performance in front of such a big crowed and we're all a bit nervous." Mark was talking now and I could see him watching someone in the side of the stage, probably Izzy I thought. "We're starting off with a very upbeat song. One of Susan's favourites and Izzy's passion of late. All our songs were written by the very talented Izzy. This first one is called; Sneaker Night."

An upbeat song started playing and then stopped as Izzy missed her cue. She finally came out onto the stage and I couldn't help but stare. She was beautiful, even more so that Rose, which is really saying something. There was something about her that seemed so familiar but I couldn't place it. Edward tensed up next to me and looked like he was having the same problem as me. "She looks so much like... No... It can't be... Bella, my Bella is in heaven." Edward spoke in a pained voice and I saw Jasper flinch from the sudden sadness coming from Edward. I looked up at the stage again, at Izzy. Could it be? Was Izzy really Bella? There were some things that looked like Bella, but yet she didn't look like Bella at all. We all just stared up at the stage and listened as Izzy started singing and dancing to the beat with Susan as she sang the back vocals. Even the people watching started dancing.

""_Put your sneakers on, Put your sneakers on  
We're goin' dancin' all night long_

_I got somewhere to be, I want you to come with me  
I put my sneakers on, Cause I'm gonna keep dancin'  
After they all go home_

_So are you ready? Did you eat, did you have the energy?_

_Are you reloaded? Are you able to stay on your feet?  
Don't want you passing out after a couple of hours of beats…  
We're keep going, going, going, go and dance_

_Chorus:  
Basically what we're gonna do is dance (3x)  
It will come easily when you hear the beat  
Basically what we're gonna do is dance (2x)  
_

_All you gotta do is make a chance  
Yeah that's right, it's sneaker night_

_So now they're closing, Closing up shop down, go home now  
This by from the end, Second round (ding) is about to begin  
Cause I got comfortable  
when the weather is nice  
So let's take it outside  
This means I'm hangin'  
And the beatbox, and it's all right_

_CHORUS_

_Don't you even worry about other plans  
Yeah, that's right it's sneaker night!_

_When the sun goes down, We wake up  
Up the night with you? No need  
No problem staying away  
When the beat is like an earthquake_

_We're unstoppable, we're uncontrollable  
Just admit it, You can't stop it, It's addictive_

_CHORUS_

_Put your sneakers on…Let's go all night long…"_

Izzy gave out a small giggle at the end of the song as everyone started cheering. Her smile was beautiful. She reminded me so much of Bella when she smiled, but Edward was right, it couldn't be her. She was gone... Izzy left the stage then as Mark began to speak again. "So our next song is a personal favorite of mine, it's a song Izzy wrote a few months ago and is quite sad, like most of her songs." He gave a small laugh and continued. "It's called Behind These Hazel Eyes." He gave a big smile towards Izzy who came back onto the stage wearing a dark pair of skinny jeans, black heals, her bright pink shirt with a dark jacket over it and a pale grey big scarf over the outfit. She smiled up at him and looked out over the crowed as the music started playing. This time she didn't dance to the music but instead just kind of moved her foot to the beat while playing her black guitar and swaying her hair to the beat.

"_Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong  
Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on_

_  
CHORUS  
Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes  
_

_  
I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright  
For once in my life  
Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside  
'Cause I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on  
_

_  
CHORUS_

_  
Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself  
Seeing you it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore..._

__

CHORUS

_  
Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes"_

Everyone started cheering again and Izzy gave the crowed a small smile. Edward was tense next to me and his eyes looked pained. I knew he was listening to the words of the songs and that he felt the pain in her voice as she sang the song. "Thank you everyone, our next song is one that Izzy chose." Mark started to say but was cut off by Izzy. Her voice was that of an angel, even by our standards and I felt a wave of familiarity come over me. The air felt heavy with electricity and I could see Edward staring at Izzy, totally mesmerized by her. Could this really be Bella? "Yes, I did choose it. It isn't my favorite song or anything like that, but the song is me. It's who I am. The song is called Don't Forget. And like the song says, the person it's about has already forgotten. I hope you like it." Her voice sounded so sad as she spoke about the song and I had the urge to just give her a hug. "She has so much pain... The only other time I have felt pain as strong as hers, was Edward's..." Jasper looked over at Edward who looked in so much pain. Izzy drew my attention again when she started singing. Her voice was one of pure pain and sorrow. She sounded so sad but yet her voice was so beautiful.

"_Did you forget  
That I was even alive  
Did you forget  
Everything we ever had  
Did you forget  
Did you forget  
About me  
_

_  
Did you regret  
Ever standing by my side  
Did you forget  
What we were feeling inside  
Now I'm left to forget  
About us  
_

_  
But somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
You can't forget it  
_

_  
So now I guess  
This is where we have to stand  
Did you regret  
Ever holding my hand  
Never again  
Please don't forget  
Don't forget  
_

_  
We had it all  
We were just about to fall  
Even more in love  
Than we were before  
I won't forget  
I won't forget  
About us  
_

_  
But somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
You can't forget it"  
_

Suddenly a few things happened all at once. The clouds above us broke and it started raining big heavy drops, drenching us all in a matter of seconds but no one moved. The music sped up and Izzy started playing her guitar with the rest of the band while she was singing. Blue, purple and pink lights flashed behind the band and it looked amazing. Her voice however was so sad that most of the human girls were crying, no doubt remembering their own lost loves, or maybe just sharing in Izzy's pain. By the sound of her voice I was sure that if she could she would be crying right now...

_"Somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
You can't forget it  
At all  
_

_  
And at last  
All the pictures have been burned  
And all the past  
Is just a lesson that we've learned  
I won't forget  
Please don't forget... us  
_

_  
But somewhere we went wrong  
Our love is like a song  
But you won't sing along  
You've forgotten  
About us__"  
_

The song ended to a thunder of applause and I had no doubt who would win tonight. Izzy looked broken, she was holding onto herself like she was scared she would fall apart. I heard a small sob, not loud enough for the humans to hear, but we could. My heart broke at the sound and Edward looked just as broken as Izzy in that moment. Mark suddenly put his guitar down and went to put his arms around Izzy, comforting her, and I couldn't help but feel that we should be doing that. How strange. "Thank you everyone. I'm glad you liked my songs." Izzy said in a small sad voice and walked of the stage leaving the rest of the band up there.

Edward started moving towards the stage then. And I started following him. "Edward! Where are you going?" He looked over his shoulder at me and I could see the pain in his eyes. "I have to know Alice. I have to know if it's..." He started walking towards the stage again and I knew exactly what he was doing. He was going to Izzy. To Bella... Jasper and I started walking towards the stage too. Keeping a good distance so Edward would have a head start. In the distance I could hear the band answering questions from the audience and normally I would have followed every word, but right now I had something much more important to think about.

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

Hearing Izzy sing her last song was too much for me. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again. She looked so pained when the music stopped and she whispered into the rain "Please remember to not forget..." She clung onto herself like I did whenever the whole where Bella was started hurting too much and I heard a soft sob coming from her before Mark put his arms around her, no doubt trying to comfort her. But I knew the pain well enough to know that it wouldn't help her at all.

"Thank you everyone. I'm glad you liked my songs." She said in a broken voice and walked off the stage leaving the rest of them to answer the question round. I started moving towards the stage then without deciding to move my feet. I was being drawn to her and to her pain. I wanted to make her feel better. With every step I could feel the electricity more and more. My fingers started tingling then and I could hear Alice and Jasper's confused thoughts as they started following me.

"Edward! Where are you going?" Alice sounded confused but I had only one thing on my mind now. "I have to know Alice. I have to know if it's..." She nodded at me. Understanding flashed over her features and I started walking towards the spark again. I was being pulled in deeper and deeper into memories of her, of my Bella. But I didn't care, I needed to know if Izzy... If she was my Bella... and if she wasn't I needed to understand why she reminded me so much of her.

I walked into the dressing room part of the stage and saw a small wet figure sitting on the floor. She had her back against a sofa and her knees pulled to her chest. She was holding onto her legs and rocking back and forth trying to calm the monster in her that was her pain. I sank to my knees 5 feet in front of her; it was all I could do to not just hold her to me now. "Go away Mark, I want to be alone." Her voice sounded broken as she spoke and I felt my heart break even more. "It's not Mark..." I didn't know what else to say. She looked up at me and looked right into my eyes. First her eyes were full of shock, then pain and then what looked almost like anger. Looking into her eyes, her face so close now and I could tell that she was my Bella. She looked a little different and her eyes were a different color but they were still her eyes. This was my Bella. But how?

"Bella..." I said her name and it felt so right. I said it again with as much love and longing as I could. "Bella... My Bella..." She looked up at me again and her eyes seemed to fill with venom and she started shaking and rocking back and forth again as she spoke pulling lightly on her hair. "No... No! You're not really here. This is all in my head. Why won't you leave me alone? Why do you keep haunting me? Why must my head try to destroy me the whole time? Why?" She started a soft sobbing as she spoke and a single venom filled tear ran down onto her cheek. I was shocked. Vampires can't cry but yet my Bella just did. I laughed in my head; it was just like my Bella to be the first vampire to cry. "Bella, you're crying..." She scoffed at me. "Don't be stupid, vampires can't cry." She gave me her duh, you're supposed to know look but humored me by touching her cheek where the drop was. She brought her hand closer to examine the tear and looked totally confused. "Great... I'm an insane freak of nature. What else could go wrong?" I looked her in the eyes again. "Bella... love, you're not insane." She looked angry again. "Not insane? You call seeing and talking to an imaginary you in the middle of my dressing room not insane?" I nodded. "I'm not imaginary Bella. I'm here..." I started moving closer to where she was still on the floor. "No! Don't come closer. I know you're not really here. I'm finally loosing it. First the voices and now to actually see you? God or whoever is out there must really hate me." I looked at her and could tell that she really thought she was crazy. That she thought it was totally impossible for me to really be here.

"Bella, I'm here my Bella... I love you... I'm here..." She went back to anger mode, whether angry at me or angry at her I didn't know. Then she smiled. "See? Now I know it's all in my head. You don't love me. Probably never even did. You don't want me. It might be a human memory but it's the clearest one I have. You don't want me." Before I could answer her Mark came into the room and looked between the two of us. Anger came over his features as he turned to me. I was still on my knees, my one hand reaching towards Bella. "What did you say to her? What did you do?" He looked at my hand and I lowered it to the floor. "Wait... You... You can see him?" Bella looked so confused as she looked from me to Mark and then to me again. "Of course I can see him, Izzy. His name is Edward Cullen; he goes to school with us. Now, tell me what is going on?" She flinched when he said my name, like it hurt her. She started shaking her head. "You... you.... you're really here..." I nodded at her. "Yes..." She started getting up, shaking and stumbling. I reached my hand towards her again to try and steady her but she ducked away from it. "I... I... I have to get... get out of here. Where are my keys?" Mark looked at her again. "Izzy, you're in no condition to drive your bike. Let me take you to your room." She looked up at him, her expression blank. "I'll be fine, I promise. I just need to get out of here. I'll be back, I'm not leaving. I promise." I knew she was talking to him but I couldn't help but hope that part of her was talking to me. He handed her a key out of his pocket and she took it and started walking out of the room. "Bella... don't go... please..." I was begging now but I didn't care. I couldn't lose her again. She looked back at me and her face softened a little. "I promised I'll be back, I just need to clear my head. This is a lot to take in. Don't try to find me. I'll come and look for you when I'm ready to talk." I nodded and couldn't help asking. "Will you ever be ready to talk?" She gave me a small smile. "I don't know... I hope so... I have a lot of questions." In that moment she looked more like my Bella than ever. Her eyes were burning with curiosity. I smiled my crooked smile at her, the one I know she likes and she smiled even bigger. I got onto my feet. "I'll answer anything you want me to... I love you my Bella... and even if it takes forever I will make you see that." She gave me another small smile and was out the door.

~-~-~

AN: so what did you guys think? Don't be mad at Bella, she is hurt and confused. She will be back after a drive but probably won't speak to Edward immediately. He hurt her a lot and she doesn't know if she can trust him. Then there is also Mark, who loves her and she has feelings for him too. So don't be mad if she doesn't just throw herself at Edward. Btw this is a BxE fic so don't worry; they will get together sooner or later.

I just wanted to say thank you to all my readers and reviewers again. You guys rock ha ha. So please review again and let me know what you think. Let me know what you think Bella will ask Edward and what you think will happen next chapter. Also if there is something you want to see happen just let me know, maybe I'll include it. :)

The first song was Vanessa Hudgens - Sneakernight - Official Music Video (HQ) on You Tube

The second was Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson (lyrics) on You Tube

And the third was Demi Lovato - Don't Forget - Official Video (HQ) on You tube. Please watch this one if you can. It has the rain scene in it or rather it's where I got my inspiration for it.


	6. Chapter Five: Decisions

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to.

Chapter Five: Decisions

~-~-~

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it."

Catherine, Wuthering Heights

~-~-~

BPOV (Izzy/Bella)

I walked off the stage and went straight to the dressing room. I sank back against the arm of the couch until I reached the floor pulling my knees to my chest and holding myself together. Why did the hole have to rip open again? Why couldn't it just stay closed? And why do I keep feeling the electricity around me, making my fingers tingle. Why me? Why couldn't I just be normal? Why did I have to always be the weak broken one?

I heard the door open and close and someone fell to their knees in front of me. It must be Mark; he always worries about me so much. I wish I could just be as perfect as he thinks I am. I wish I could be everything he wants me to be. But I can't. But for him, I'll always keep trying. "Go away Mark, I want to be alone" I flinched slightly at the sound of my voice, it sounded wounded, like I was busy dying. He didn't get up. Instead he spoke in the most angelic voice I have ever heard. It was as smooth as velvet and had a sound more beautiful than any music I had ever heard. It was _His _voice. I knew it.

I looked up and was met with the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was my angel. It was _Him._ I looked into his shining caramel eyes and I didn't know who looked more shocked, me or him. His face was even more beautiful than I remembered it to be and it pained me to look at him. But I couldn't look away. I knew I was having another hallucination. I haven't had one in so long. This time it was different though. This time I could _see_ him. I could see my angel. Normally I would just hear his voice in my head. God, I really am going crazy. The thought of it made me angry. The angel continued staring into my eyes like he was seeing me again for the first time. A hungry man seeing his food or an alcoholic looking at his favourite drink.

"Bella..." His angelic voice called out to me and a small smile played at his lips. He looked so relieved, so happy. So in love... "Bella... My Bella..." Yes, this hallucination was definitely different. It was so much worse than the others. So much more cruel. In the others his voice was always angry at me, filled with false concern. But now, his eyes, his voice... they were filled with so much love and longing that I could feel my heart break at the sight. My eyes got blurry and I started rocking back and forth, shaking on the ground. I shoved my hands into my hair and started pulling it lightly. This isn't real. He isn't here. I'm going crazy. No, I am crazy. I opened my mouth and instantly felt more insane. I was actually going to answer the angel.

"No... No! You're not really here. This is all in my head. Why won't you leave me alone? Why do you keep haunting me? Why must my head try to destroy me the whole time? Why?" Why does the hole in my chest always have to tear open and break me more that I already am? I was sobbing softly now looking at my knees and I felt something warm on my cheek but I didn't care. I was crazy and I was broken. I knew it already.

"Bella, you're crying..." The angelspoke again and he sounded so serious and so shocked. I wanted to burst out laughing. Vampires can't cry, I knew that very well. "Don't be stupid, vampires can't cry." I told him while giving him my duh, you're supposed to know that look. I saw him looking intently at my cheek where I felt the warmth from earlier and I got self-aware. I brought my hand up to my cheek and brushed over it. I was shocked when I felt there was something there. I brought my hand closer to my eyes to examine the liquid, confused was an understatement. What was wrong with me? Why me?!

"Great... I'm an insane freak of nature. What else could go wrong?" I asked it more for myself that for the imaginary angel sitting on his knees in front of me. He looked me straight in the eye and I saw all this fake love there again. My mind really does hate me. This is going to hurt like nothing else before when it ends. "Bella... love, you're not insane." Not insane? How could he say that? Just look at me. What else could I be? "Not insane? You call seeing and talking to an imaginary you in the middle of my dressing room not insane?" I was angry now, not at my angel but at me. I was angry that I couldn't just ignore him and keep my sanity. I hate feeling like I'm crazy. He nodded at me.

"I'm not imaginary Bella. I'm here..." He started moving closer to me, his one hand reached up as if to touch me but I couldn't let him. If he touched me then this hallucination will end and I would be alone again. Alone with the pain of losing him all over again. "No! Don't come closer. I know you're not really here. I'm finally loosing it. First the voices and now to actually see you? God or whoever is out there must really hate me." He looked hurt by my words but I didn't care, I couldn't let him touch me and disappear again.

"Bella, I'm here my Bella... I love you... I'm here..." What the hell? He loves me? It took everything in me to not start laughing uncontrollably at my mind for thinking of this Edward. An Edward that still loves me. I hated the part of myself that wished that it was all real. The part that wanted to grab him and kiss him and never let him go. The part of me that wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that I still loved him and wanted nothing more that to be with him. To be whole again and not have this empty hole inside my chest. But I knew it wasn't real. I knew it was all in my head. I smiled at the angel in front of me. His game just came to an end.

"See? Now I know it's all in my head. You don't love me. Probably never even did. You don't want me. It might be a human memory but it's the clearest one I have. You don't want me." I said the last words as a statement, already knowing it was true and trying to convince my mind and the imaginary angel in front of me it was true. He never wanted me. He never loved me. I felt heat stinging in my eyes again and then the door opened. This time it was Mark.

He looked around the room and at me. Then he looked angry and my eyes softened. I hated seeing him angry at my pain. But he was looking at the angel in front of me. He had an angry glare fixed on my bronze haired angel and all I wanted to do was protect him. He looked so vulnerable there on the floor with his hand reached out to me. "What did you say to her? What did you do?" wait, was Mark speaking to my angel? Could he really see him too? How was that even possible? My angel let his hand fall to the floor and for a moment he looked defeated. I was so confused. What was going on? "Wait... You... you can see him?" I was stuttering, I couldn't keep my voice calm and steady as always. I looked at my angel and then to Mark as I spoke and then let my eyes fix on my angel again, scared that if I looked away for too long he would disappear.

"Of course I can see him, Izzy. His name is Edward Cullen; he goes to school with us. Now tell me what is going on?" I flinched when he said the angels' name. What did he mean when he said that he goes to school with us? Was he really here? I started shaking my head trying to think straight. He couldn't be here, could he? Was he really here? Was it really him? Yes, it was him, there is no doubt in my mind that it is him. But he _was_ here. He was here in front of me... "You... you... you're really here..." I couldn't understand it. I needed to clear my head. I needed to get out of here. The angel nodded his head. "Yes..." He looked at me and his face was full of pain and longing. He_ is_ here. And I needed to get away. Now.

I started getting up but my body was shaking so hard now that I stumbled forward and nearly fell down. My angel reached out his hand to try and steady me, to catch me as I fell. Like he promised he would always do. I couldn't let him touch me. I wouldn't be able to control myself when he did. I sidestepped his hand and looked at Mark. "I... I... I have to get... get out of here. Where are my keys?" I was shaking and stuttering breathing harder than what was actually necessary but I didn't care. All I wanted was to get on my bike and clear my head. I needed to think. Mark gave me a stern look. "Izzy, you're in no condition to drive your bike. Let me take you to your room." Great he had to mention the bike in front of my angel. I could see the look of concern on my angels' face and I knew he was worried. I couldn't stand it when he looked at me like that. Like he was going to lose me... I cleared my face of all emotion and looked up at Mark. "I'll be fine, I promise. I just need to get out of here. I'll be back, I'm not leaving. I promise." I wasn't talking to Mark and I just hoped that the angel sitting on the floor knew that. Mark looked at me and gave me a small smile, clearly thinking my words were meant to comfort him. He reached into his pocket and took my 2008 Suzuki GSX1300R Hayabusas' keys out his pocket and handed them to me. Yes, I was a small girl with a big bike and that's the way I liked it. I gave him a look to say thanks and started making my way out the room.

"Bella... don't go... please..." my angel was begging me from the floor and I could feel my dead heart twist in pain. I couldn't stay, not now. I needed to be alone first. I needed to think. I turned to look at him and the agony on his face almost made me fall to the floor. My face immediately softened and all I wanted to do was reassure him. To make him feel better. "I promised I'll be back, I just need to clear my head. This is a lot to take in. Don't try to find me. I'll come and look for you when I'm ready to talk." I needed him to know that I would be back but I also needed time. I needed time to digest him really being here. Him saying he loved me. How could that be possible? I pushed all the thoughts to the back of my mind again. He nodded and a curious expression filled with fear and hope came into his eyes.

"Will you ever be ready to talk?" His voice sounded sad but I couldn't ignore the look of hope in his eyes. Maybe, just maybe he still did... I gave him a small smile. "I don't know... I hope so... I have a lot of questions" I couldn't help the wave of curiosity that came over me. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, so many things I wanted and needed to know but for now I need to go and clear my mind. He smiled my favourite crooked smile at me and his eyes were shining with happiness and hope. I couldn't help but smile back at him, and to my surprise it was a real smile. He got onto his feet in one swift movement. "I'll answer anything you want me to... I love you my Bella... and even if it takes forever I will make you see that." My smile fell a little at his words. It was the words I've been dreaming of hearing for so long now, but now that he said them I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I could just let him back into my life. What if he left again? What about Mark? I had to leave; I need to think, now! I gave him one last small smile and was out the door and on my bike.

I was driving faster than ever down the highway. I had no idea where I was going or when I would be ready to go back and talk to my angel. Or what I would say to him if I did. But I knew I couldn't miss school for too long. I didn't want to miss any school at all. I never got to graduate as a human and it made me want to do it even more now. Yes, I'd be back at school tomorrow, not talking to my angel until I was ready to. But for tonight it was just me and the highway.

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

I sank back onto the couch in the dressing room. I can't believe that just happened. I can't believe Bella is alive, my Bella was alive. I couldn't help the stupid grin spreading onto my lips. I didn't even care that Mark was staring at me like I just broke his favourite toy. All I cared about was that Bella was alive.

"Izzy! I want you to meet two of our new friends, we're coming in." Susan called from behind the door as her, Jack, Alice and Jasper came into the dressing room. "Don't bother, she already knows then." Mark said with a growl at me. _What's going on Edward? What is he talking about? _Alice was worried, she didn't know what she was walking into and Jasper had a big smile on his face when he felt my happiness. I looked at my little pixie of a sister and gave her a reassuring smile. "Bella." Alice said with a huge grin on her face. "Bella is still alive! Where is she? I need to talk to her!" Alice started looking around the room searching for Bella.

"She left Alice, but she'll be back. She doesn't want us going to her; she said she'll come to us when she's ready." Alice looked sad at my words but almost instantly cheered up as she spoke. "Oh... But she's really here? She's alive?" I laughed at her face, she looked like a little kid that was just told she could get a puppy. "Yes Alice, she is alive. She really is here. Our Bella is here."

Susan looked confused between all of us and looked like she finally got her voice. "What's going on here? And where did Izzy go? How does she know you?" Mark let out another growl in my direction and before I could answer her, he spoke up. "They are the coven Izzy told us about. They are the ones' that left her to die the way she did. He's the one all her songs are about. He's the one that broke her." He spat the words with so much hatred and they tore a big whole into me as I saw some images of Bella broken and sobbing uncontrollably coming from his mind. The shield must be going down or maybe his anger is just breaking through it. I put my head in my hands and started sobbing softly on the couch from the images flashing through his mind. Her pain was overwhelming me.

Alice came to sit next to me and put her hand on my shoulder rubbing little circles into it. Jasper came to stand on my other side in a defensive position, ready to protect us if he needed to. "We left to protect her, Edward never wanted to hurt her. He loves her more than anything. We needed to try and make her safe. She was a human and having us in her life was too dangerous. She nearly died a few times while we were there and it got too much for him. He just wanted her to be happy and safe. To lead a normal human life. It broke him to leave her the way he did, it broke all of us. Our family has been driven apart by it. We thought she died." Alice was speaking in just a little over a whisper now while everyone listened to her.

"We were on our way back to her. I saw her truck caught on fire, I can kind of see the future... but we were too late. When we got back to Forks, Charlie, her dad, told us that she was in an accident. That she had passed away... it broke us. We ended up staying for her funeral and moving here so we could be closer to her. Edward visits her grave every day. He has never forgotten about her, never stopped loving her. And neither have the rest of us."

Susan was sobbing softly in Jacks arms while he rubbed soothing circles into her back. "We understand. I would have done the same thing you did if I thought it would have kept Susan safe." Jack really understood and he gave me and Alice a sad smile. "The hell we understand! Have you forgotten how much pain they caused her? Have you forgotten how they broke her? How she was murdered as a human only to be born as one of us?" Mark was furious. "Wait, she was murdered?" I looked up at him and his furious eyes met mine with a hiss. "Yes, but it's not my story to tell. And neither is it theirs." He looked over at his family and they nodded. I nodded at him and shoved my desire to know to the back of my mind for now.

"Please don't stop her from seeing us if she wants to. We will keep our distance as she asked but please just don't stop her if she wants to talk to us." Alice was speaking in a sad soft voice and I saw Susan look over at her before crossing the room to give the little pixie a hug. "We will never stop her from doing anything she wants to. She's too stubborn to be stopped anyhow." Susan laughed a tinkling laugh and I felt hope rising in me again. Alice hugged her back and smiled at her. "Thank you. And please don't you stay away either. I don't want to lose another friend." Alice looked at her, pleading her with her eyes not to stop being her friend. "I'm not going anywhere Ali, and neither is Jack. We'll be sitting with you every day at lunch. You'll see, you'll be begging us to leave." Susan grinned up at Alice and they shared another happy hug.

Mark huffed. "I won't stop her if she really does want to see you, but I will try my best to make her never want to do that. I will not let you hurt her again. I will be sitting with her at lunch and I'll be watching you." And with that he was out of the room.

"Don't worry about him, he'll come around once she decides what it is she wants. But I have to ask, please don't take her away from us either. She really is like a sister to me and I don't want to lose her either." Susan looked so sad when she spoke and I grabbed her hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I would never dream of taking her away from you. I know how much it hurts to lose her." She gave me a smile and came over to hug me as well. "Thank you Edward, I can see why she has never gotten over you. Would you please tell me your story? She never tells us about you or your family. She just says that you were wonderful and that you left."

I gestured for her and Jack to sit down and started telling them the story of how Bella and I met. I told them everything. From how sweet her blood smelled to me and how clumsy she was. How she used to faint at the sight and smell of blood and they started laughing. I told them about how much of a danger magnet she was and about the van and Port Angeles. How I couldn't stay away from her anymore and how much I loved her. How I used to sneak into her room and watch her sleep. About our first kiss and how after a while she couldn't sleep without me holding her and humming her lullaby to her.

I then told them about the whole James incident and how he had nearly killed her. How I had to suck out his venom and how it felt like I wouldn't be able to stop. I told them about how long she was in the hospital and how I never left her side. I told them about our wonderful summer together and then finally got to her disastrous birthday party. I told them how I decided to leave for her safety and how broken I felt. Susan was sobbing softly as I recalled every last detail up until we found out she was dead and then about today. How I had felt the electricity once again and the force of being pulled to her here. About how happy I was to find out that she wasn't dead but that my Bella was alive. I told them everything. And when I was finally finished they were both smiling up to me.

"Everything will work out in the end, you'll see. You two were meant to be together." I smiled up at Susan. "I really hope so. I can't lose her again..."

The sun started rising then and we all went our separate ways. Promising to sit together at lunch and even maybe to see each other before then. I couldn't help the hope I was feeling that even if Bella wasn't ready to talk yet, that I would at least be able to see her at school from now on.

~-~-~

AN: so that is another chapter done. I hope you all liked it. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. I would love to know that I'm doing something right or even wrong and be able to improve on it.

Next chapter shouldn't take too long until it's up. I'm already busy writing it. So until then leave me a review and I'll answer any questions you might have.

Also, thank you to everyone that has reviewed so far. You guys rock :)


	7. Chapter Six: Confusion Reigns In

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics.

Chapter Six: Confusion Reigns In

~-~-~

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."

**Gilda Radner**

~-~-~

BPOV (Izzy/Bella)

I finally headed back home when the sun started rising. I parked my bike in the normal spot and tried to fix my windswept hair. I let out a sigh and looked over the school in front of me. For some strange reason I felt home and that just brought more confusion. I still haven't decided how I feel or even how I was supposed to feel. With one last glimpse toward the sunrise I started heading to Mark's room. I know I have to talk to him. Find out what happened when I left and for how long he knew Edward was here. I smiled at myself. It didn't hurt to think about him anymore and I found myself thinking about him constantly on my ride during the night. It still hurt to remember when he left but I found that thinking about the good memories was surprisingly freeing. But I also knew that I couldn't talk to him yet. There were still too many things I had to figure out.

I was standing in front of Mark's bedroom door when I heard the music playing and him singing. I stopped with my hand on the handle and listened to the familiar song that he sung in such a different way.

""_Take me and let me in  
Don't break me and shut me out_

Chorus:  
So take me and let me in  
Don't break me and shut me out

I lit my pain on fire  
and I watched it all burn down  
and now I'm dancing in the ashes  
and there's no one else around  
Because I wanna be a part of something  
This is just a story of a broken soul

Hook:  
As days go by, my heart grows cold  
I can't seem to let this all pass me by

So take me and let me in  
Don't break me and shut me out

I'm burning in the heavens  
and I'm drowning in the hell  
My soul is in a coma  
and none of my friends can tell  
That I'm reaching out and getting nothing  
This is just a story of a broken soul

As days go by, my heart grows cold  
I can't seem to let this all pass me by  
So take me and let me in  
Don't break me and shut me out  
So take me and let me in  
Don't break me and shut me out

Don't shut me out"

I opened the door and walked into his room closing the door behind me. I walked over to his bed and sat down. I put my fist into the air and smiled at him as he continued playing on the guitar and singing the song.

_"Does anyone around me feel the same  
Just put your fist up and vent your pain  
Does anyone around me feel the same  
Put your fist up and vent your pain  
Does anyone around me feel the same  
Put your fist up and vent your pain  
Does anyone around me feel the same  
Put your fist up and vent your pain_

As days go by, my heart grows cold  
I can't seem to let this all pass me by  
So take me and let me in  
Don't break me and shut me out  
So take me and let me in  
Don't break me and shut me out  
As days go by, my heart grows cold  
I can't seem to let this all pass me by

Take me  
Don't break me"

"I like what you did to my song." I told him when he finished and he walked over to the bed. "I'm sorry, I should have asked first." I laughed at him. He was apologising for singing a song faster and harder and better than I originally did. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Me on the other hand... well I have a lot to be sorry about. I'm sorry I just left last night without an explanation. I just had to get out and clear my head." He looked up at me and looked straight into my eyes. "Did you find what you were looking for?" I gave him a small smile. "No, I didn't. I still don't know what to do, but I know I want to be here. I want to be in school and I want to be with my family." He smiled at me. "Susan will be happy to hear that."

I let out a small sigh. "What happened after I left?" he got a look of anger in his eyes and did nothing to try and hide it. "Susan came in with the rest of them just after you left, looking for you to introduce you to them. I told her not to bother that you already knew them all. The small pixie got all excited then saying how you were alive and that she wanted to go find you to talk to you, but he stopped her. Telling her what you told him. Susan asked what was going on and he told her, Jack and I the whole story. Don't ask me, it's not my story to tell." I sighed, he really did know me too well. He already knew that I wanted to hear the story.

"What happened then?" I couldn't help but ask. "Susan started sobbing at their story and she hugged them. Her and Jack instantly forgave them for everything and said they still wanted to be friends. I told them that I wasn't going to listen to their crap anymore and I wasn't going to force you to talk to them and I left. Susan and Jack only came back a few minutes before you." I looked at him. "Why don't you like them?" my voice was small and probably sounded scared. "Because they broke you and now they think they can just come back into your life and take you away from me. I know their type. They'll just leave you again Izzy. They'll get bored of you and leave." I looked at him and felt the warmth in my eyes again. "Oh... ahm... I have to go... I have to get ready for school... I'll see you there okay?" my voice sounded pained but I didn't care. Who did he think he was to tell me that they'll get bored of me and leave again? He doesn't even know them and I started wondering if he even really knows me. I got up of the bed and started towards the door. I felt him grab my hand. "I'm sorry Izzy; I just don't want you to get hurt again." I gave him a small fake smile. "I know. I'll see you at school."

I walked towards my building and for the first time since coming here saw the Volvo in the school parking lot. Has it always been there? I couldn't remember seeing it before but then again I wasn't really paying much attention yesterday when we got here. I reached my door and sighed before pushing it open. The room was empty, at least of people and vampires alike. There was an outfit put on my bed with a yellow stick it on. 'I thought you might like to wear this. Love Susan'

I smiled at the note and looked at the outfit. It was an old pair of jeans. Light blue with holes over both knees. There was a dark blue fitted t-shirt with Seattle's Best written on it and a smooth black zip up jacket. She had put out navy socks and a nice pair of navy underwear with my white sneakers with blue strips. It was the perfect outfit and I loved it. It was just the thing I wanted to wear right now. I went into my bathroom and took a warm shower relaxing all my muscles under the water. I washed my hair and then got out. I quickly dried my hair and it was instantly straight again, no doubt thanks to Susan. I looked in the mirror once, grabbed my book bag and went out the door.

I went looking for Susan and ended up looking in the cafeteria for her and Jack because that was where they went yesterday. I opened the door and walked in looking around at all the tables for her. I spotted the back of Jack's head and headed there. When I was a few feet away I stopped. They weren't alone. Sitting at the table with them was Edward, Alice and Jasper. Alice looked over at me and she looked like she was about to cry. Jasper looked up next and he looked at me like Edward did last night. Like he was seeing me for the first time and I guess technically he was. Edward was next to look up and his eyes were filled with the same love and longing from last night. I grabbed onto my side ready for the hole to be ripped open at seeing them again. But it never came. Instead of the crippling pain I usually felt when I thought of them, there was just this slight burning in my chest, like a warmth. It didn't hurt and it wasn't uncomfortable. It just was.

I let out a long sigh and took a step forward looking at Alice. My little pixie sister. I have missed her so much. I took another step forward looking at Jasper this time. My brother in every sense of the word. I could never blame him for anything that happened. I took another step forward this time looking at Edward. My angel was sitting there in front of my new family and his eyes were burning with hope. I froze again looking away. I couldn't do this. I couldn't give him hope. I wasn't ready yet.

"Susan..." my voice was small and sounded not like I was in pain but rather like I was scared. She spun around on her seat and gave me a huge smile. "Izzy! You're home. I was so worried, I didn't know if you'd come back." She stopped smiling then and looked angry. "Don't you ever scare me like that again Elizabeth Maria Masen Cooper or I will personally hunt you down and make you pay." I flinched at the use of my full name and knew I hurt her a lot. I caught the look on the other threes faces as she said my name and knew which parts they picked out. Elizabeth Masen, Edward's mother and Maria for Alice's human name Mary. I looked at Susan and tried to show her I was really sorry. "I'm sorry Suzie. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to come and say thank you for the outfit. I love it. It's just what I needed today." She gave me a big grin and jumped up to hug me. Knocking my bag of my shoulder. "I love you Izzy, I'm sorry I yelled at you. Will you sit with us?" She looked so hopeful as she asked and so did everyone else at the table. I frowned. "Love you too sis, but not right now okay? I'm still... I'm still working through everything." She frowned but nodded and Alice looked like I just stole and killed her puppy. I quickly added. "Maybe later? If nothing heavy gets discussed? If I can just sit here in silence and speak when I want to?" I looked at Susan and she gave me a big smile again. "We promise, you talk when you want to and until then you can be invisible just like you like it." I smiled at her and gave her a hug again. Looking at Alice over her shoulder and giving her a small sad smile. She lit up at my smile and smiled back at me. I mouthed the words to her 'I'm glad you're here' and she looked like she was going to cry. I gave her another smile and then pulled away from Susan. I picked up my bag that I dropped when Susan gave me the first hug and turned and walked away.

My first few classes were boring. I had already done all this work as a human and even though the memories were a bit foggy I could still remember it all. I noticed that so far I had none of my classes with any of the other vampires and were a bit relieved but also a bit sad at that. The bell rang then to signal that lunch was starting. I waited at my table for Mark to come get me like yesterday. He walked into my class and gave me a big smile. He pulled me up by my hand and led me to the cafeteria holding my hand.

"So I guess it's just us today?" he asked and I could hear the faint hint of happiness in his voice. "Actually I promised Susan we would sit with them. She promised that everyone would ignore me until I wanted to talk. Do you mind?" I knew he minded when I caught a glimpse of his angry and hurt eyes before he could make them softer again. "No, if that is what you want then I'll sit by you. I'm always here for you Izzy." He gave me a smile and squeezed my hand. I was kind of glad I didn't have to sit alone with him anymore. I still didn't know what to do or what to really say to him. I nodded at him and smiled as he led us to the door of the cafeteria. He pushed the door open and I immediately dropped his hand from mine. He looked at me with hurt in his eyes and I pretended to look for something in my bag so he would think that was why I dropped his hand. I hated hurting him.

Hurt turned into understanding and I knew I fooled him. I hated having to do it but I was just still so confused. I walked ahead of him then to the table they were sitting at this morning still digging in my bag so he wouldn't take my hand. When we reached the table everyone was already there with trays of food in front of them. The three Cullen's sat at the one side of the table and Jack and Susan at the other. I went to go sit next to Susan and everyone gave me a small smile.

"Do you want me to bring you anything from the food counter Izzy?" Mark was looking at me and it took me a second to process his words. "Huh? Oh... no thank you, I brought my own lunch." He looked at me again with a mad expression and walked off. Alice and Jasper were laughing and it looked like Edward was having trouble keeping a straight face while looking at me. I instantly felt self-aware again. "Do I have something in my hair?" I asked running my fingers through my black and pink hair. Edward burst out laughing and I frowned. "What? Something on my face? What's so funny?" I was getting annoyed now. Edward calmed down and gave me a big smile. "You brought your own lunch?" I shook my head and laughed too, knowing that they probably were imagining some dead animal in my bag. "Yes I did, I still remember how bad the food was at Forks." And I pulled out a cinnamon milk tart from my bag. The smell reminded me of him but he didn't have to know that. Everyone started laughing again. "I remember, that pizza was terrible." He laughed and I frowned when I remembered the memory. We were in Forks high and I dared him to eat human food. "Sorry..." He said and looked away. I looked up at him and strangely enough I wasn't sad or mad or anything really. "Nothing to be sorry about." I said and looked away when it looked like he was going to answer me.

I took out my notebook and a pencil and spread it in front of me on the table. Opening it to a sketch I was busy with. It was Jake in wolf form with a dozen red roses in his mouth. Only the red of the roses were in colour the rest were all in a shade of black/grey. I noticed everyone staring at my picture but I didn't care. I felt Mark sit down next to me and start staring too. I labelled the picture 'Izzy: Day One' and started writing the poem, I think it is, next to the picture.

Mark started reading the male voice aloud and I did the female. He knew this one. It was the same thing I wrote next to every picture of Jacob that I drew. He started reading and I could feel all the eyes at the table on us.

"On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?" he asked in a seductive tone. "Will he offer me his mouth" I asked in a small almost scared voice. "Yes." He answered in a sibilant whisper. "Will he offer me his teeth?" I asked in the same voice as earlier. "Yes." He almost hissed at me and I could see the rest of them looking at us like we were crazy. "Will he offer me his jaws?" I almost cooed at him. "Yes." Again as almost a hiss. More urgent this time I asked. "Will he offer me his hunger?" He answered a bit softer "Yes." Even more urgent now I asked again. "Again, Will he offer me his hunger?" a bit louder he answered. "Yes." My voice got a little darker as I asked. "And will he starve without me?" "Yes." He said so loud that a few people walking passed the table looked at him before walking on. "Then, does he love me?" I asked in a gentle soft voice. "Yes." He said in a soft sweet voice. I looked up at him. "Yes." I said still in a soft voice. Then he yelled. "On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?" Everyone at the table looked at him in shock but I smiled and answered with a nod. "Yes." He smirked at me and said. "I bet you say that to all the boys." Everyone burst out laughing and I couldn't help but laugh too.

I looked down at my drawing again and gave it another label on the side. 'Jacob Black, friends for always.' I looked up and saw Edward eyeing the drawing curiously. I gave him a small smile and said. "Jacob was my best friend in Forks. We don't see each other as often anymore... he's a werewolf and he saved my life... or rather he tried... his pack doesn't like it when he visits me too often now. He stayed with me while I was turned and he brought me a dozen red roses the day I woke up and this was what we said to each other then. Right before he took me hunting for the first time." I smiled at the memory and made a mental note to phone Jake later.

Edward looked shocked and disgusted with himself. He sighed. "I never knew... if I knew you were in danger without me there I would never have left." His eyes looked pained and I sighed. "Nothing heavy, you promised." He sighed again and nodded. I turned back to my sketch and started shading it with my pencil. I heard the rest of them talking but I wasn't really paying any attention.

"Izzy!" Jack yelled at me. I looked up then my eyes wide. "What? Did I do something?" Edward looked up at me then his eyes were shocked. "Wait, Bella is the shield?" he started laughing and said. "I should have guessed as much." I looked at Jack, curiosity shining in my eyes and I raised my eyebrow at him. "I've been asking you to drop the shield, just not by your name. I thought you would hear me." I was shocked. "It's okay, we trust him, I want to show him a few things and I can't do it with the shield up." I stared at him in disbelieve for a second and he yelled again. "Izzy! Pay attention! Drop your shield, please?" I shook my head and dropped my shield so fast from the shock that I dropped my own as well. _I didn't even realise I still had it on everyone_.

"What did you just say?" Edward was staring at me with huge eyes. "I didn't say anything." _Looks like I'm not the only crazy one. _"I'm not crazy and neither are you! Stop saying that." He was angry now and then I realised what was going on. _Oh crap... _I quickly put my shield over myself again, keeping the rest of them out. "You could hear me?" I asked with chagrin. He nodded his eyes still big and shocked. "Can you do it again?" I looked at him and I could see the burning desire in his eyes to hear me again but I couldn't. There was too much going on in my mind. So many things I still didn't understand myself. "It takes a lot more concentration to drop my shield from myself. I don't like doing it. I was just so shocked that Jack was yelling that I dropped it by accident." He looked disappointed but nodded and continued his conversation with Jack and Susan.

After a while I looked up and sighed. "What's wrong Izzy?" Mark looked over me and frowned. I rolled my eyes at him. "Nothing..." I knew that wasn't true. I was having the urge to talk to Alice. My real sister and my best friend. I wanted to know why they left me and why they didn't come back when she saw I was in danger. It broke my heart to think that maybe they just really didn't care. Maybe Mark was right this morning. Jasper raised his eyebrows at me and I knew I was caught in a lie. "I have to go, I'm sorry. I thought I could do this but I can't. I just can't stay here. I need to be alone." I grabbed all my things off the table and shoved them into my bag. "Izzy wait, don't go now, there's only a few minutes left." Susan was begging me to stay and I could see the hurt in Alice and Edwards' eyes. "No, I'm sorry. I'm not ready..." I looked at Alice again and felt my heart break a bit, all I wanted was to talk to her, talk to my best friend about my ex boyfriend who broke my heart and my sister that left without putting up a fight. I tore my eyes away from her and walked off.

~-~-~

The rest of the week was uneventful. I didn't sit at their lunch table again and chose to sit on my own most of the time. Getting my thoughts straight. I ended up having biology with Edward but luckily I didn't have to sit next to him. I wouldn't be able to handle that yet. The next Battle of the Bands show was coming up fast and I heard that Edward was going to perform a song along with Jack. They had become really good friends in this short time and so have the rest of them. It was just Mark that still hated them. I really wished he didn't but there was nothing I could say to change his mind.

I had been pulling away from Mark this last week and needless to say he has noticed. I hated having to hurt him but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that we were just fooling ourselves. We didn't belong together and we both knew it from the beginning.

So of three things I was sure. First, Mark hated Edward with a passion. Second, Mark and I knew we weren't meant to be. And third, I was still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen and his family...

~-~-~

AN: so what do you guys think? I really hope you liked it. Please let me know what you think. Thank you again to everyone that has reviewed. It means the world to me.

The song is called Take Me by Papa Roach


	8. Chapter Seven: No More Chasing

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics.

Chapter Seven: No More Chasing

~-~-~

"In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins... not through strength, but through persistence." - _H. Jackson Brown, Jr._

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

It's been a whole week since Bella sat at our table for lunch. She wasn't mad at us but just needed time to deal with the fact that we were really back. In my mind she was testing us, to see if we would really still be here the next day. She would always rush into the cafeteria only to stop dead at the entrance and look over our table. She would get a small smile on her face and then go and sit at an empty table in the corner with two seats. Then she would start sketching and sometimes she would get the most beautiful smile on her lips, how I would love to know what she was drawing in that moment. But I kept my distance as she asked. I didn't want to push her again like I did that day at lunch.

Tonight was the Battle of the Bands show again and Alice convinced me to enter and sing the song I wrote for Bella after lunch that day. Jack was going to sing with me and so was Jasper. Jasper would play guitar, Jack the drums and me the piano. I was excited to finally let Bella hear my song but also scared that she wouldn't like it.

I was the first one to reach the cafeteria today and I went over to Bella's table. I put a single red rose on her table and turned around to go and sit at my own. Jasper and Alice were the first of our table occupants to come in and I saw Alice's eyes flash to the rose and then back to me. _She'll love it Edward. _"How did you know it was me?" I asked a little shocked that it was so obvious. "Anyone that knows you would know it was you." She said it with a funny look on her face and before I could ask she changed the subject. "Now are you finally going to tell me what you're singing tonight?" I laughed at her, I was trying to confuse her on purpose, always telling her a different song to try and get her to use her ability again.

"Why don't you just take a peak and tell me if I get thrown of the stage for sucking too much?" I asked her and I could tell she was getting annoyed. "Do we really have to go through this every day? I'll use my ability again when and if Bella ever forgives me." I sighed. "You mean us..." she smiled then. "I don't need to use my ability to know that she will forgive you Edward; I can see it in her every day. She's just confused and scared." I smiled back at her. "I know she is..."

Susan and Jack came walking in then and smiled at us as they made their way over to our table. Bella and Mark were in next and they looked uncomfortable towards each other. I wonder what happened. He came over to our table looking really sour and Bella went to hers. She looked sad. "Hey guys." Alice greeted them all and we all greeted each other in our own way. I was looking over at Bella's table through the corner of my eye. She looked at the rose and picked it up smelling the sweet scent. She looked around her then and I could see her looking at our table. Susan and Alice were talking in excited voices about the show tonight and Jasper was talking to Jack about our song without going into too much detail. He was helping me try to get Alice to look into the future again. Mark was staring at Bella's table with a frown on his face. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and jerked around.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to come and say thank you for the rose. It's beautiful." Everyone at the table went silent and looked between me and Bella. I smiled an innocent smile at her. "What makes you think it was me?" I raised my eyebrow at her and she just rolled her eyes. "Please Edward, do you really think I'm that stupid? Anyone that knows you would know it was you." I was shocked, I looked at Alice. _I might have seen something._ She thought with a smile on her face and I smiled back. I looked up at Bella and gave her, her crooked grin. "I guess you caught me..." she laughed and she looked so beautiful in that moment. I just wanted to scoop her into my arms and never let her go again. "Oh I know I caught you. You're not that good at stealth." She laughed again and then looked to her feet.

"Ahm... do you maybe want to join me today?" I looked at her and the shock must have been very clear on my face. She quickly added while still looking down at her feet. "You don't have to, if you don't want to? I'll understand... I'm not going to be very good company anyways... forget I asked..." Mark scowled at us and I finally found my voice. I reached up to tilt her chin so she was looking at me. "Yes, I want to join you, always. And you aren't good company, you're the best." She gave me a brilliant smile and for a moment I was dazed. I dropped her chin from my fingers and stood up following her to her table. She sat down on the one side and I sat on the other.

Her notebook was lying open on a blank page and her pencils were ready for her to start drawing. She put her hand on the table and pushed the green IPod towards me with a smile. I took the one ear bud and put it in my ear as she took the other and did the same. Debussy started playing and she let out a content sigh. She looked at me and tilted her head. "Smile, I want to sketch you, I'm sick of only having fuzzy sketches and one's where you look in pain." I flinched slightly but smiled my crooked grin at her. "For you, anything." She smiled at me and we spent the rest of lunch in companionable silence while she sketched me. I watched her work and it was amazing to see. With our eyes it was very easy to draw and paint but there was so much detail in Bella's sketches that it always amazed me.

The bell rang before she could finish, she was going at a human speed and not rushing her work. She looked at the table then and sighed. "Same time tomorrow?" she asked and I could hear the hope in her voice. I lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "Until you're sick of seeing my face." If Bella could blush I was sure she would be bright red right now. "That might take a while?" She asked and it sounded more like a challenge. "Well I have the rest of forever, and there is nothing else I would rather be doing." Her eyes got really bright and she got that beautiful smile on her face again. "I'm gonna hold you to that." And then she turned around and went to her next class. I would not disappoint her. I would never leave her again.

~-~-~

The start of the Battle of the Bands show came quicker than I ever thought it would. Bella and her band would go first and I would be after them. I felt nervous. I didn't care what anyone thought of my song, I only cared about what Bella thought. I would only be singing that one song and Jack said that they were still undecided but had at least two. I was standing in the crowed with Alice and Jasper where I could watch Bella and her band.

Mr Petersen walked onto the stage and cleared his throat. "Good evening everyone. Our first act tonight is the band Faceless Angel, so with no further ado, here they are." Everyone started cheering and Jack and Mark made their way out onto the stage. Mark still looked sour about something and I couldn't help but wonder what happened between him and Bella this morning. Next out was Susan followed close behind by Bella. Bella looked beautiful. She was wearing a black dress with thin straps and black high heeled shoes. She searched the crowed until she saw us and smiled. It made her look even more beautiful. She started speaking and everyone went quiet to listen.

"Our first song is called Standing in the Rain. It is a song I wrote a few months ago. It's about being scared and alone while hurting. After losing the person you love. But it's also about being strong after it happens. To not give up and to be strong." I smiled at her, she was a lot stronger than I gave her credit for. Then again, my Bella has always been so much more. She started singing in her angels' voice as the music began to play.

"_She never slows down.  
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down_

[CHORUS]  
So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down  
She wants to be found  
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.

[CHORUS]  
So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
Stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found

[CHORUS]  
So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day, whats lost can be found  
You stand in the rain"

Everyone started cheering again as the song ended and Bella and the rest smiled. "Our next song is one I only wrote yesterday. It's a very real song to me and someone close to me." To my surprise she slightly looked over at Mark and he looked angry and hurt, she gave him a small sad smile. "In a way I guess you can say it's about loving the wrong person. Telling the person you're with that both of you know you shouldn't be together, even if you really do love them..." The music started playing and she gave him one last sad smile.

"_Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye  
Even with our fists held high, yeah  
Never would have worked out right, yeah  
We were never meant for do or die_

_I didn't want us to burn out  
I didn't come here to hurt you now  
I can't stop_

_I want you to know  
That it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
Someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone_

_Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another  
That doesn't always make you wanna cry  
Started with a perfect kiss  
Then we could feel the poison set in  
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive_

_You know that I love you so  
I love you enough to let you go_

_I want you to know  
That it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
Someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone_

_I'm already gone  
I'm already gone  
You can't make it feel right  
When you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone  
Already gone  
There's no moving on  
So I'm already gone_

_Already gone  
Already gone  
Already gone, oooo, oh  
Already gone  
Already gone  
Already gone, yeah_

_Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye_

_I want you to know  
That it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
Someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone_

_I'm already gone  
I'm already gone  
You can't make it feel right  
When you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone  
Already gone  
There's no moving on  
So I'm already gone..."  
_

She glanced up at Mark as the music was fading and I could just hear her whisperr to him. "I'm sorry... I do love you..." He gave her a small smile but his eyes showed all the hurt he felt. Everyone cheered. What was going on? Was she saying goodbye to him? That she didn't want him anymore? But she said she loves him? She started speaking again.

"So this is our last song and is one I wrote very recently. It's probably not the best but I still like it. I hope you do too." As she said the last part our eyes met and I knew she was talking to me. I smiled up at her and nodded to encourage her. She smiled wide and looked behind her at the rest of them. Susan was giving her a big smile and Jack looked happy. Mark looked like he was busy losing everything he had. Then the music started playing and she took up an angry and hurt act and started acting and dancing as she sang.

"_I probably shouldn't say this  
But at times I get so scared  
When I think about the previous  
Relationship we shared_

It was awesome but we lost it  
It's not possible for me not to care  
And now we're standing in the rain  
But nothing's ever gonna change  
Until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you!  
The 7 things I hate about you, oh you  
You're vain, your games, you're insecure  
You love me, you like her  
You make me laugh, you make me cry  
I don't know which side to buy

Your friends, they're jerks  
When you act like them, just know it hurts  
I wanna be with the one I know  
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do  
You make me love you"

She looked right at me as she started singing the second part now. Her act changed to someone that looked stronger emotionally than they were before and looked a bit sad as well. She looked me right in the eye and I knew that she was being serious.

_"It's awkward and silent  
As I wait for you to say  
What I need to hear now  
Your sincere apology_

When you mean it, I'll believe it  
If you text it, I'll delete it  
Let's be clear  
Oh, I'm not coming back  
You're taking 7 steps here

The 7 things I hate about you!  
You're vain, your games, you're insecure  
You love me, you like her  
You make me laugh, you make me cry  
I don't know which side to buy

Your friends, they're jerks  
When you act like them, just know it hurts  
I wanna be with the one I know  
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do  
You make me love you"

For the last part of the song she started smiling and looked longingly at me and my siblings before continuing on with her acting and dancing.

_"And compared to all the great things  
That would take too long to write  
I probably should mention the 7 that I like_

The 7 things I like about you!  
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's  
When we kiss I'm hypnotized  
You make me laugh, you make me cry  
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy

Your hands in mine  
When we're intertwined, everything's alright  
I wanna be with the one I know  
And the 7th thing I like most that you do  
You make me love you, you do"

As the music started fading she looked over to me once more and whispered into the wind. "I'm not coming back... You're taking 7 steps here" I nodded at her to let her know I understood. And I really did. She did say goodbye to Mark but she wasn't ready to start talking about all the heavy things as she calls them. And she wasn't ready to come to me. But I could go to her. I could go and sit with her at her table for lunch everyday and then when she's ready, and I took my seven steps to reach her, then she would talk to me and we would work things out. Once she knows she can trust me again. That I won't leave her and I never would again.

I started making my way over to the stage as Mr Petersen walked on and started introducing me. I caught a glimpse of Bella and Susan walking into the crowed and smiled. I was hoping that she would stay to listen to my song.

~-~-~

BPOV (Bella/Izzy)

"Izzy, are you ready? They are just about to call us on." Susan walked into the dressing room and came to sit on the couch with me. "You did the right thing Izzy. You needed to let him go. You two don't belong together. We all know that." I sighed. "I just hate hurting him Suzie, I really do love him..." She gave me a small smile. "I know you do. We all know you do. He'll get over it and he'll come around again. I promise. All you need to worry about now is yourself." She gave me another big smile. "And Edward of course." I rolled my eyes at her. "Of course." I said sarcastically but then added in a serious voice. "I just still don't know if I can trust him not to leave again. I'm scared that if I chase after him and we end up together that he'll get bored and leave again. I won't survive that again, Suzie." She sighed and nodded. "I know, Izzy. I know." I looked at her then. "I'm going to tell him that, with my song, I'm gonna let him know I'm not going after him, that he has to come to me. To show me he really wants me."

She started laughing. "I had no doubt about it. I knew what the song meant when you first read it to me." I smiled at her. "You were always too smart for your own good." She laughed again and the door opened. "Susan, can you come help me with something quick?" Mark asked her from the doorway not meeting my eyes. He hasn't spoken to me since yesterday morning after we had our talk and things were definitely awkward between us now.

_I knocked on Mark's door an hour before school. He opened the door and his smile fell when he saw my face. "What's wrong Izzy? Was it him? Did he hurt you?" He looked angry and I sighed while walking into his room. He sat down in his chair still looking at me and I went to go sit on his bed. "Mark, we need to talk." My voice sounded sadder than I meant it too but it was still strong and that was what I needed it to be. "That doesn't sound good..." He started and I sighed again. "It's not..." he looked up at me then with guarded eyes. "Just tell me, Izzy. Don't beat around the bush." I looked away from his eyes and bit my bottom lip. If he wanted it direct then I would give it to him like that. No sugar coating it anymore._

"_I don't think we should see each other anymore. Romantically I mean." I blurted out and chanced a glance in his direction. He looked shocked and hurt by my outburst but I couldn't and wouldn't take it back. We were silent for a long time until he finally spoke up. "Why..?" he asked and I could hear the pain in his voice. I looked at my shoes as I spoke. I didn't want to see his face anymore. I hated hurting him. "We both know we don't belong together. You deserve better than me. You deserve someone to love you, Mark. To truly love you." He looked up angry then and crossed the room to me and grabbed my wrist. _

"_It's because of him isn't it?!" he yelled at me and I let out a whimper. Mark was much stronger than me now that my newborn strength had worn off. "Y-You know it's not about that Mark." I tried to calm him down and get my wrist free from his grip. He was so angry. I've never seen him look like that. "You're leaving me for him? Tell me!" he yelled again and I started sobbing softly. "No... That's not why... I do love him yes, but I can't trust him. Not yet. Please Mark let me go. I just want us both to be happy." He laughed. "I was happy." He said in a bitter tone and let my wrist go. He sank onto the bed and I sat next to him. He looked so sad now._

"_I know you were. I was too. But you have to understand Mark. You're real mate is still out there. She's waiting for you to find her. How can you find her when you're always with me?" he let out a big sigh. "I'm sorry I reacted that way. I thought you were just going to run back to him now and I guess I got a little possessive. Can you ever forgive me?" I gave him a smile and squeezed his hand. "There is nothing to forgive. But with your blessing I would like to get to know him again. To see if I can trust him. I want to be happy. And I want you to be happy for me." I saw anger flash through his eyes again and he looked jealous for a moment before giving me a small smile and nod. I gave him a small kiss on the cheek and got up to leave his room._

_He grabbed my hand and I turned to look at him, his eyes were shining and they looked extremely sad. "Wait Izzy. I have something to say." I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. He looked down at me and cupped my face in his hand. It felt so warm, so safe. I closed my eyes and tilted my head into his hand. Suddenly I felt his breath on my face and his lips met mine with a soft spark. His lips were so soft and melted against mine as we moved in perfect unison. Then too soon he pulled his lips away and leaned his head against mine._

"_I love you Izzy. I know you don't like it when I tell you that, but I love you. I will always love you. I know you think that you can't make me happy, but you do. I have never been happier than when I'm with you." I opened my mouth to say something but his fingers met my lips and silenced me. "I'm not done. I believe that you are my mate Izzy or as close as I'll ever get to one. But I will let you go now. I want you to be with me because I make you happy and not just because I'm your only choice. I'll let you go now so you can figure out who it is you really want. I will wait for you my Izzy, forever." I opened my mouth again and he silenced me._

"_I'm not saying that I'm happy for you to go to him, in fact it hurts more than anything I have ever done but I want you to be happy. I'll sacrifice anything for you to be happy again. So once you find out whom it is you want, come and tell me. Even if it isn't me..." He looked so sad and it broke my heart to see him like that. He was letting me go and explore my feelings for Edward, knowing that I might not come back to him. He really did deserve someone better than me... I nodded to him and he gave me another small kiss on the lips and led me out of his room._

_We haven't truly spoken since. Everything was so awkward between us now._

"Good evening everyone. Our first act tonight is the band Faceless Angel, so with no further ado, here they are." I heard Mr Petersen say to the crowed and made my way out to the stage.

~-~-~

After our last song Susan and I made our way into the crowed to watch Jack and Edward perform. I was really excited to hear what he was going -to sing. All Jack said was that it was the perfect song and that I would love it. I was sure I would to. Edward was a great musician. He went to go and sit behind the piano and searched the crowed until he found us. I gave him a small smile. I could tell he was nervous. He cleared his throat softly.

"So I've been hearing everyone giving their songs introductions and I realised I should probably do the same. My song is called What Hurts the Most and I wrote it a week ago when I found out that someone very special to me survived a horrible accident that I thought killed her..." his eyes looked so pained when he said the word killed that my heart reached out to him in that moment. "You see I made the biggest mistake of my life 2 years ago. I left her to protect her. I never wanted to hurt her and as you can guess I only ended up hurting us both beyond repair. This one is for you Bella." He said as he looked directly at me and I felt like crying when I looked into his eyes. They held so much pain. Then I could have sworn I heard him whisper 'This is my first step...' as the music started playing and he started singing in the voice of an angel.

"_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me_

What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do  
Ooohhh...."

Everyone started cheering like crazy after that and I knew that if I could cry my eyes would be blood red by now. His song was so beautiful and so sad. I loved it. Susan grabbed my hand and started leading me towards the stage dressing room, no doubt to go and get Jack. I can't believe he managed to keep such an awesome song a secret. We got into the dressing room and I could see Edward and Jack shaking hands and smiling at each other. Susan pulled me closer to them and gave them both a hug saying how good they were. I looked away from them and then gave Jack a little slap on the chest. "Yeah man, I can't believe you managed to keep that a secret for so long." Everyone started laughing and I caught Edward's eye as he was watching me intently.

"Did you like it?" he asked in almost a whisper. I looked into his eyes and shook my head. "No..." he looked hurt. I sighed. "Let me finish will you? No, I didn't like it. I loved it." I said with a shy smile on my face and Susan started giggling from my side and Edward's eyes grew wide and worried. "What's wrong?" I asked, scared of the answer and Susan giggled louder. "You're blushing..." Edward said and reached his hand to brush over my red cheeks. The look on his face was priceless. It was filled with so much wander and love and longing that I wouldn't even be able to properly describe it. I felt the electricity from his fingertips and tilted my head into his hand without even realising it.

He gave a small sigh and then I realised what was going on. "It's Susan, she can make it look like I'm blushing. She loves doing it to embarrass me..." I said while taking a step back from him. Being this close to him was dangerous if there wasn't something between us. He gave me a small smile. "It shouldn't embarrass you. You look beautiful when you blush. It was one of my favourite things about you when you were human..." I gave him a small smile back and nodded. I didn't trust my voice right now. I wanted to go and clear my head again.

"So what do you guys want to do now?" Jack asked and we all looked at him as he smiled. "I was thinking maybe we could go back to my room? Invite Alice and Jasper as well and maybe watch a movie or something?" Susan started bouncing up and down, clearly very excited. "Yes, please say yes Izzy? We haven't watched a movie together in ages." I gave her a small smile. "I actually wanted to go get some fresh air." Susan looked sad and started to pout. "Okay, okay. Pull back the lip, I'll go. But I get to leave whenever I want." I said with a stern look on my face and then smiled at her. "Deal." She squeaked and Edward smiled at her. "I'm sure Alice would love to go too. What would you like to watch?" Susan got a big grin on her face. "No! We are not watching The Notebook again!" I said exasperated. Susan pouted her lips at me and gave me her puppy dog face. "That isn't going to work Suzie. Please let's just watch a comedy or a horror or something?" She sighed and Jack spoke up. "How about we watch Boondock Saints? I know you both like that movie." I gave him a grateful smile. "That sounds perfect."

Ten minutes later we were all sitting in Jacks room watching Boondock Saints. They were all talking more than watching and I was sketching in my notebook on the floor. I was lying on my stomach with my legs bent into the air, swinging them back and forth slowly as I drew. I could feel Edward looking at me more than the movie but I didn't care, it was oddly soothing.

"Izzy..." Susan called from the bed where she was lying in the same position as me facing the TV. "Hmmm?" I replied not looking up. "I'm going hunting tomorrow night, do you want to go with me?" I looked up at her and had to think about it. I tilted my head to the side. "Ahm... I don't think I need to..." I replied in an unsure voice. I've been here for a week now and only hunted once about five days ago. Shouldn't the thirst be stronger by now? "Are you sure? You haven't hunted in a while..." She trailed off and I could tell she was unsure of letting me stay behind. "Ahm... yeah I'm sure... I'm not thirsty?" I said it more as a question than a statement and everyone looked up at me shocked.

"How can you not be thirsty? You're surrounded by humans every day." Edward managed to ask and I looked at him and shrugged. "I don't know. I've never needed to hunt as much as my family. I guess it's just easier for me. I don't think of humans as food, I still see them all as people I might know. And I still don't really like the smell of human blood." His face went from shocked to amusement and he started laughing so hard he rolled of the chair he was lying on. I looked up over to him a little annoyed. "What's so funny?" he stopped laughing long enough to answer. "You!" and then started laughing again. I was getting angry. "And why am I funny?" he stopped laughing and looked up at me from his position on the floor. "I remember the day you did blood typing in biology. And how much you hate blood. It's funny because you're a vampire that hates blood." Everyone started laughing and I frowned at them. "Oh, I never thought about it that way I guess."

After that I was quiet again for the rest of the night while I was sketching a picture of Alice lying on the floor by me. She was giving me a beautiful smile and I couldn't help but smile back. I labelled the picture 'My Pixie Sister' and she beamed at me. Edward moved then and sat on the floor a few feet away from us. Too close, they were all too close... I wasn't ready.

I got up after that and everyone looked up at me. "Well... Good night everyone... I ahm... I have to go." Susan gave me a smile. "See you at school." I nodded and left the room. I needed to clear my head again. I wasn't going to chase them; they had to come to me.

~-~-~

AN: Thank you all for the great reviews I've been getting and all the fav's and alerts. They all mean the world to me. Thank you.

So I hope you all like the chapter and that you will review again. Let me know what you think :)

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things

Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone

Superchic(k) - Stand in the rain

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most


	9. Chapter Eight: Taking Steps

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics.

Chapter Eight: Taking Steps

~-~-~

_"The first step you take is always the most important one. The first steps you take on any journey won't get you where you want to go. But without those first steps and the many more that follow, you would always be standing right where you are, looking towards the future and wondering what it would really be like to see your world the way you always dreamed it could be. One of the greatest lessons in life is the one you learn about moving forward and taking steps to reach your goals."_

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

Bella left the room and Alice was instantly sad again. _Did I do something wrong? _She asked me in her thoughts. _I thought everything was going fine. She was smiling at me and she drew me. _Alice showed me the picture of her in her head that Bella was drawing. Alice had a big smile on her face and it was labelled ''My Pixie Sister'. I sighed. She didn't do anything wrong. I did. "You didn't do anything Alice. I did." I saw Susan looking over me and Alice as we spoke. _What did you do? You didn't do anything Edward! _"Yes I did. I got too close... when I moved she stiffened and then left. I'm pushing her too much." I said with a sad smile to let Alice know she didn't do anything wrong.

"Don't worry about Izzy, she'll come around. She really wants to be close to you all again and I know she has so many questions for you. But she's scared. She told me earlier today that she doesn't know if she can trust you not to leave again. She's scared that she lets you all back in and then you get bored of her and leave. She knows she won't survive that again." I cringed at Susan's words. She didn't mean for it to but her words cut through me.

"How could she think I would ever get bored of her? Does she believe that is why I left her the first time?" I was a little angry that Bella could believe that. "Hey, don't be mad at me, be mad at Mark. He's the one that told her you would just get bored of her again." She said the words cautiously, probably trying to judge how I would react. "He did what?!" I was seething. How could he tell her that? Who gave him the right to judge me like that? I would never get bored of Bella. It's not possible.

"Please don't be mad at him. He was hurting when he said that. He really cares about her a lot. She might not be his mate, but they were very close to it. She told him yesterday that she couldn't do it anymore and it broke his heart. He was just trying to defend himself in a very stupid way." I sighed at Susan. "Yes, it was a very stupid way, but I do understand. I know what it feels like to lose her." She nodded to me and we all said goodnight. Once again going our separate ways and planning to meet up in the morning.

~-~-~

Lunch finally came around and I was the first one into the cafeteria again. I felt lost. I didn't know what to do. Should I go and sit at Bella's table or should I sit at my own? After last night I wasn't sure if I was still welcome at her table or not. I didn't want to upset her anymore than I already had. I decided to sit at my table and see what happens. This way I could judge if she wants me there or not.

Alice and Jasper walked in to the now half full cafeteria after a few moments. They both gave me a small look as if to say I'm at the wrong table but I just nodded to them. Next in were Susan and Jack. They seemed to understand why I was here and gave me small smiles. Mark stalked into the cafeteria next. He looked livid. He reached the table and sat down not saying a word to anyone.

Bella was the last pupil in today and to my surprise she didn't instantly look over to my table. She was looking at her table. It was empty. She looked so sad in that moment and I couldn't help but wonder if it was because I wasn't sitting there. She took a deep breath and walked over to her table. I saw her sit down and give a small sigh while taking out her IPod and notebook. I got up from my table and started toward hers.

"Good morning." I said when I reached her table. She had her legs stretched out onto the seat across from her and she was making little doodles instead of actual pictures today. She looked up at me and I could see her eyes were hurt. "I thought you weren't coming." She said it as a statement, no emotion coming from her voice. "I'm sorry... I wasn't sure you still wanted me here?" I said it as a question wanting her to tell me she wants me to sit with her. "Didn't I ask you to sit with me?" she was looking into my eyes and she was hurt. "Yes, but after you left last night. I thought I pushed you too far again..." her expression faltered and she looked remorseful. "That wasn't because of you. It was because of me. It felt too much like old times..." she didn't have to say anymore. I knew what she meant. Her and Alice were sitting together in perfect happiness and it got too much for her to handle. She was scared we would leave her.

She sighed and pulled her legs from the chair pushing it out. I sat down and she pushed the ear bud of her IPod towards me. A soft song I didn't recognize started playing and she tore the page she was doodling on out her notebook. I raised my eyebrow at her. "It wasn't a real picture." She said it like it makes perfect sense and shrugged her shoulder at me. I gave her a smile as she started sketching a new picture this time.

"Emmett?" I asked after a couple of minutes. She was drawing a picture of Emmett with a big grin on his face but the picture was very blurry, like she was seeing it behind water. And I realised that all her human memories would look like that compared to her new eyesight. She hasn't seen Emmet or the rest yet and she just had her old memories of them. She looked up at me and her eyes were pained. "Yes... does he...? Is he...? Where...?" I cut her off, she clearly wanted to know about him and I would tell her.

"The last time I heard from him, he and Rose were in brazil somewhere. They haven't been home much in the last year and a half. In the beginning he was mad that we had to leave and stayed away because of that. Then, after we thought you were gone... he was so mad at me and he was overtaken with so much grieve for losing his baby sister that they left again. He comes back about once a month to put as much flowers as he can on your grave and then he leaves again." She nodded her head to show she understood. "Does he know I'm alive? Did he want to leave...?" I sighed and lowered my head. "No one wanted to leave, Bella. Leaving was the hardest thing any of us have ever done and they all hate me for it... And no, he doesn't know yet." She was instantly angry. "Why didn't you tell him the night you found out I wasn't dead?" I looked up at her confused. "You told me that you didn't want us to come to you that you would come to us when you're ready?" I asked it as a question, not fully understanding where she was going with this.

"He didn't want to leave and you took him away. You made him stay away but he didn't. At least I don't think he did..." She looked confused now and so was I. "What do you mean he didn't stay away?" I looked at her with curiosity burning in my eyes. "A week before I died Jake said he thought he smelled someone close to the border line of La Push when I was visiting him. Another of the werewolves said that they think they might have seen a glimpse of him a couple of times. That he was big and had dark hair. They weren't close enough to see him. Then the night before and the night after I died Jake said he smelled the same vampire in my room. That after I died and he went back into my room, my one floorboard was lifted up and the window was open." I looked at her shocked. "That's where the pictures and tickets and everything went. I thought maybe you found them. It's all making sense now. The fact that he was packed and ready to leave even before I could tell him you were gone. He already knew..." She nodded.

"I think he was trying to watch over me. I always felt like I was being watched and followed, but then again I guess I was... And she said I still had a secret protector that she led him away... Wait, what pictures and tickets? Was there something under my floor?" I nodded. "I broke my promise to you even before I left. I put all the photos and birthday presents under your floor. I just couldn't bring myself to take it away from where it belonged. After you were gone I went back to get them but they were gone. I thought you found them and destroyed them or something... What did you mean by she? Who is she?" Bella cringed as I spoke, probably remembering the person.

"It's a long story for another day... I'm not ready to talk about all that yet. I want to know about Emmett... I want Emmett... I need to see him. He needs to know I'm alive and I need to know if what I believe is true." I nodded to her. "I'll try to contact him after school." She looked frantic. "How soon will he be able to be here?" I sighed. "I'm not sure. I guess it all depends on where he is." She nodded again and went silent continuing to draw.

Was it really Emmett that was there? Did he really not listen to me and follow her? How did he keep it a secret from me? Was that why he was never home? Because he didn't want me to find out? This changes so many things. The day Alice and I went home after the funeral suddenly makes a lot more sense.

"_Everyone, please come to the dining room." Alice called as we walked into the door of our house. We went there and waited for everyone. Carlisle and Esme were the first ones in along with Jasper. Their thoughts were all hopeful that we might be going home to Forks now that we worked things out with Bella. Esme sounded especially hopeful that her family would be united again and it tore me a little more. Jasper was the first to realise something was wrong and came over to hold Alice. Emmett and Rose were the last people to come into the room. She was planning on where they would go and at first I didn't think anything of it because they always left these days. When Emmett walked in his thoughts were a mess of running and red flashes and always being too late. Being too slow to make a difference and then of hearing a scream and watching something burn. He caught my eye and the thought seamed to continue on to him holding a gun as a soldier in his game and I realised that he was playing a play station game in his head. Or that's what I thought at that time._

"_Please sit down everyone..." I asked in a calm voice that surprised me. Everyone sat down except for Emmett. "I'll stand. I also have news after you say yours." I nodded to him and continued on. "As you all know, Alice had a vision of Bella being in danger and we went back to Forks to help her. However... when we got there. We were too late..." I said in a heavy voice. Esme started sobbing loudly. "No Edward, she can't be?" I looked over at my mother and she looked so pained. "I'm sorry mom, Bella is no longer with us... her funeral was yesterday. We wanted to invite you all to come, but we didn't think Charlie would be able to handle it." Esme nodded between sobs. "How is he Edward? Is he handling it alright?" Carlisle always the practical one I thought. "He is handling it as well as can be expected" he nodded. "And you, my son?" I looked at my father then and I felt like a little kid again. "I don't know... I feel lost. Bella didn't want me to follow her so I can't and now I just feel... lost." I said in honesty. He nodded again._

"_I'm leaving." Emmett suddenly said. "Me and Rose are already packed. We are gonna travel the world. Do some sightseeing." I tried to read his mind but it was just filled with pain and the same running and being too late. Carlisle nodded to him. "Take as much time as you need my son." Esme started sobbing even louder and her thoughts were pained. Instead of losing one daughter she lost half of her children. "Emmett, won't you stay for at least another week?" I tried to convince him to stay, for Esme's sake. "No, I already made up my mind five days ago. I'm not going to change it. I'm sorry mom. I just can't stay here right now." He was looking at Esme and she nodded to him. She understood. His thoughts were still about the same thing running and not being fast enough. Then red and more red. It was frustrating to me. I wanted to know the real reason he was leaving and I couldn't find out._

_After that he and Rose left. Jasper later told me that he felt Emmett's emotions before he left. That his pain was almost as bad as mine and that he was feeling a lot of guilt._

Thinking about it now, knowing that he was probably there near her, he was most likely feeling guilty for not being able to help her. He thought she died in a fire, the one place he could not pull her out of. My heart broke for my lump of a brother. He was trying to protect the thing that meant the most to me when I wouldn't; when I couldn't... he was doing what he could to be a good big brother to her, while still being a good brother to me.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella's voice pulled me from my thoughts. She was looking at me and her eyes were full of curiosity. "I was thinking of Emmett." I said honestly, I would not lie to her again. "Oh... would you do me a favour regarding him?" she looked a little scared so I nodded for her to continue. "Don't tell him I'm alive." Now I was confused, wasn't that what she wanted? "But didn't you want me to tell him?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow at her. "I know what I said, Edward, but I want to tell him. I want to be the one. If that is alright with you?" she looked at me and my heart melted, I could deny her nothing. "Okay, I'll get him here and let you tell him as long as the rest of us can be there?" I asked. I really wanted to know what happened back then and I wanted to be there in case everything didn't go to plan. She nodded and then the bell rang.

"Same time tomorrow?" She asked and her eyes got a gleam in them. I nodded and got up with her. "Oh and Edward." She called as she walked away. "Come find me after you phone him and find out when he'll be here." I smiled at her. "I will. Consider it my second step." I winked at her and at the shocked look on her face I gave her my crooked grin and she smiled back at me. "I will." She said and walked off. I felt like I was floating, I was so happy to finally be making some progress.

"So Emmett knew all along? He got to see her when we couldn't." Alice was right beside me now, frowning. "It seems like it. Everything does make a lot more sense now." She looked up at me, her frown deepening. "Yes it does. I thought he was being a jerk leaving, but instead he probably thought it was his fault that she died." I frowned at her. "I think so too Alice." She got a big smile then. "Well at least he will find out now. And everything seems to be getting better. Jasper says the two of you have almost no more real feelings of pain. I think the two of you are healing each other nicely." She got a big grin and practically skipped off to her next class.

~-~-~

"It's ringing." I said to Alice and Jasper who were sitting on my bed. "You do realise we can hear it too?" Jasper mocked and I rolled my eyes. Someone answered then.

"What's up Eddie?" Emmett. He sounded a little off but it was still him. "Hey big brother, how is Brazil?" I asked with a grin on my face. "Oh Eddie, Brazil was months ago, we're in Boston now." He laughed. "That's good to hear. We have some news. We need you to come to Seattle as soon as possible." I said in earnest. "How so? Did something happen?" He asked and sounded worried. "Nothing bad, I promise, but I can't tell you over the phone. You really have to see it to believe it." He laughed again. "Did Jasper finally manage to paint the Porsche purple?" I laughed too. "Even better than that I promise. How soon can you be here?" He sighed and sounded like he was thinking about his answer. "Tomorrow night at around six. Did you need me to come alone? Rose wouldn't mind staying here; she has a whole thing at the spa booked for the next of the week." I thought about it for a while. "Yes, I think so. She could come a day after you if she wants to, but just you at first I think." He sighed into the phone. "It better be good little bro. I had some ball tickets for tomorrow night." I laughed. "Well I think it is much better than a ball game." He laughed a little and we discussed where to meet up and said our goodbyes until tomorrow.

I looked over at Alice and Jasper and realised he seemed afraid of her. "Jasper, do you want to paint my Porsche purple?" she said the word like it was going to try and attack her. I laughed, grabbed my book bag and ducked out of the room. I need to go and find Bella.

~-~-~

I found her in her room. I knocked on the door and it almost instantly opened as if she was expecting me. She looked at me with a frantic expression on her face. "Come in, close the door behind you." She said and started what looked like frantic searching. There were papers lying everywhere on her floor, they all had drawings or lyrics on them and she was going through all of them, no doubt looking for a specific one. "Sit down... The bed is free." She said hastily while still searching. I went over to her bed and sat down. "What are you looking for?" I asked, I couldn't contain the curiosity any longer. "A picture... I drew it a very long time ago. Just after I got turned. It was of Emmett." I looked at her and she looked so panicked that I wished I could help her. I got onto my hands and knees on the floor by her and started looking with her. Putting all the pictures in neat organised piles. She laughed and rolled her eyes at me.

After a few long moments almost all the pictures were on neat piles and we still haven't found it. I reached for a picture of Emmett absentmindedly to put it on the Emmett pile and felt a wave of electricity pass through my fingers. Panicked I glanced down and I realised I had my hand over Bella's. She looked up at me and our faces were just a few centimetres apart. I could feel her sweet breathe on my lips as her lips parted and the distance got smaller.

It felt like it took hours for me to touch my lips to hers. When our lips finally touched I felt a strong spark and my hand reached up to cradle her face. Her lips moved with mine and I was in heaven. Kissing Bella now felt so right. I didn't have to hold back anymore, I could just be me, and I could show her how much I wanted her without having to worry about breaking her bones. Suddenly and way too soon she pulled away panting and fell back onto her backside. She was looking at me with wide eyes and I cringed internally. I did it again...

"I'm sorry... I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have done that. Please, just say something?" I pleaded to her, just hoping I didn't ruin everything. She was breathing heavy and I realised so was I. "Wow... Ahm, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I kind of met you half way..." She looked like she was scared that she was blushing and I knew that if she was human, she would have been.

"You're not mad?" I asked looking at her as our breathing finally slowed down. "Ahm... No, I'm not. But do me a favour and warn me before you do that again?" She had a smile on her face and I gave her my crooked grin. "Does that mean I'm allowed to do it again?" I asked and I was thankful that she was handling it so good. "I didn't say that... I'm not ready for that yet. I think you should know everything that happened since you left before that can happen and I'm not ready to tell everything yet. I still need more time to work through everything and figure out how to say it all." I nodded my understanding and wondered what all did happen.

Bella moved back onto her knees and picked up the drawing we reached for earlier. "This is it." she said and showed it to me. There were four different pictures on it. One of her at school with a shadow in the forest nearby. One of her driving in her truck and a shadow in her rear-view mirror. One of her sleeping with a shadow in her rocking chair and the last one was Emmett's face looking at her in her mirror and then disappearing. "I never thought much of it when I was still human. I was so out of it back then that I just thought I was going crazy. But now, the more I think of it, the more I feel him with me in my memories back then. Do you remember I told you I heard voices when you were gone?" I nodded and she continued. "Well I used to think it was your voice but the more I think of it, it wasn't yours. It was Emmett trying to sound like you. He was pretty good at it too. He would only interfere when I was doing something stupid or dangerous and I believed it was you talking to me... crazy isn't it?"

I shook my head at her. "You have no idea how much I do wish it was me you heard, Bella. I never stopped thinking about you. I never stopped loving you, ever." Her eyes looked pained again. "You said you didn't love me... that you didn't want me." I closed my eyes and looked away. "I'm sorry I did that. I lied. When I said that Bella, it was the blackest kind of blasphemy. I could never stop loving you and even if it takes me the rest of our existence I would prove that to you. I only left so you could be safe. I will never hurt you again Bella. I promise." She cringed. "Please don't make me any promises; I'm not ready for that yet." I sighed but nodded.

She started moving forward on her knees until she was right in front of my folded legs. "Can I? Would you mind?" I looked at her puzzled but nodded, I would deny her nothing, even if I didn't know what I was agreeing to. She moved my hands from my lap and moved herself onto my lap and rested her head on my shoulder. I froze as she moved, not knowing what I could and couldn't do without her moving away. She seemed to sense the reason behind my hesitation and moved my arms around her until I was holding her tight. My one arm supporting her back and the other holding her tightly to me. She let out a content sigh and I started humming her lullaby for the first time in a year and a half. She smiled into my chest and we sat like that for hours in comfortable silence until the sun rose behind her curtains. It was Saturday today which meant no school but at least I knew for sure I would see her again tonight. There was a soft knock at her door but neither of us moved as Susan opened the door and came in. The look on her face was confused and extremely happy. I gave her a smile and she started grinning.

"Sorry Izzy, I didn't know you had company. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go hunting with me?" she gave me an apologetic smile and I smiled back to let her know I didn't mind. I just wanted Bella to be happy. Bella looked up at her and looked deep in thought. "Right now?" she asked and sounded a bit disappointed. "If you don't mind? We'll be back in about three hours. We really won't be too long, just a quick breakfast." Susan laughed and so did Bella. "Okay, I'll go in these clothes, no use of getting any other clothes dirty." She started getting up and I felt my body groan at her absence. I wasn't ready to let her go. She started walking towards her door and Susan when she finally stopped.

"Edward? Why did you come here last night?" I was suddenly ripped back into the present and remembered about Emmett. "I came to tell you about Emmett. He's in Boston and will be here by six tonight. He's meeting us out in the picnic meadow here at school." Her eyes lit up. "I'll be there at five, bring a blanket." She said and was out of the door. I slowly got up and looked around her room once more. There were photo's hanging on the wall of her and her new family and framed pictures of me and my family. I smiled at that and left her room. I really hope tonight will work out alright...

~-~-~

AN: Sorry for the long wait guys. Hope you like the new chapter. Oh and THANK YOU for all the reviews, they mean so much to me. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter :) Can't wait to hear from you.


	10. Chapter Nine: Protector Reunited

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics.

Chapter Nine: Protector Reunited

~-~-~

"Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow"

Mark Twain

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

"Alice are you ready yet? You do realise Bella only asked for a blanket right?" Alice came walking out of her room holding a big bag filled with blankets and pillows and all kinds of other things I'm sure I didn't even want to think about. "I know she did, I just thought that maybe we could make this a bit more memorable. After all, we might be there for a while." She had a funny look on her face again and I raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't ask Edward. You'll see soon enough." She smiled at me. "Did you see something again?" I asked with a hopeful smile on my face. "It came on its own and changed about ten times. It was never constant." She said with a frown. I knew what she meant without having to explain it. There were too many people involved for her to predict it accurately. Any one of them could change their mind about something and change the outcome.

We made our way out to the meadow behind the school. It was filled with flowers and picnic tables and looked like something out of a movie. Alice started setting up the blankets, five it total. As she did them I heard what they were meant for. _One for me and Jasper, one for Edward and Bella, one for Susan and Jack, one for Mark and one for Emmett. _"What makes you think that Bella will be sitting with me?" I asked. I was really hoping she would be right about that though. She laughed a tinkling laugh. _Just wait and see my brother. That part was written in stone. _I couldn't help but smile at her.

Susan and Jack arrived along with Mark and Jasper. He was over at Jack's earlier, they were good friends and I loved seeing my family so happy. I felt Mark glare at me when I saw Bella approaching. She looked so beautiful. She was wearing a dark pair of skinny jeans with a black shirt that hugged her figure perfectly and fell in just the right places. Her hair was still black with the pink and her eyes were still hazel but she looked absolutely beautiful.

I stood up from the blanket I was sitting on and she walked over to me looking shy. She stopped in front of me and gave me a smile. "You look absolutely beautiful my Bella." I told her in honesty and her smile grew a little. "Thank you, Edward." She leaned over quickly and gave me a little kiss on my cheek. When her lips left my skin, my hand reached up to the spot where her lips were. It still tingled. She let out the most adorable giggle and fell gracefully onto the blanket. I sat down beside her and she moved in between my legs and leaned her back against my chest. She let out a content sigh. "This is nice." She said and started sketching Alice and Jasper sitting the same way we were. I could tell she really wanted to talk to Alice but that she was still scared. Maybe she thought that Alice saw everything she was going through and just did nothing about it. Whatever it was that was stopping her, I knew it wouldn't last much longer.

~-~-~

I sat there in between Edward's legs leaning my head on his chest as I drew my pixie sister and cowboy brother. All I wanted to do was talk to her but I couldn't. A part of me, a very small part, felt like Alice was responsible for everything that has happened since they left. I mean obviously she would have seen what was going to happen to me and she just didn't care enough to try and stop it. Then another part of me, the bigger part would argue that if Alice did see all that, that she would have done something to help me. It told me she loved me and I loved her. But no matter how much I wanted to believe the bigger, more believable part of me, I just couldn't ignore that small possibility.

Edward tensed behind me and I finally heard Jack. "Someone is coming. I can feel him. He's getting really close now." Jasper spoke up then. "He's nervous, he doesn't know what he's walking into. There are four extra vampires he wasn't expecting and he doesn't know if you are friendly or not." Edward nodded. "You're right Jasper, he also smells Bella, like we did. He just doesn't know what to make about it. He's confused and hurting." I frowned at his words. My protector was hurting because of me. All I want to do is make him feel better.

Emmet broke through the trees and looked upon us all. He instantly got angry when he looked at Edward and me and I couldn't help but feel that he wasn't happy to see me. Edward gave my shoulders a reassuring squeeze and got up. "It's not what you think Em. I promise you, there has never been anyone but Bella." Emmett seemed to get even angrier and finally spoke up in a voice filled with venom. "I'm not blind Edward. How could you? She hasn't even been gone for that long!"

He was defending me, the dead me. He didn't recognise me when he saw me in Edward's arms now and thought he moved on. "It's not like that Em, believe me. Take a closer look at her, trust me." Edward was begging him to see reason but Emmett was standing strong in his believes. "I don't need to, I saw enough Edward, I'm leaving." He started turning around and I sprung to my feet.

"Emmie-Bear, look at me." He froze in place but didn't turn around when he heard me. "Don't ever call me that again. Only one person calls me that." I sighed and called out again. "Emmie-Bear, look at me, please! Just look at me." I took a few feet forward but stopped a distance away. He slowly turned around and looked like he was fighting with himself about it. "I said, never call me that!" He spat the words with venom at me and I cringed away from him. "Please, just look. Susan, help me." Susan dropped her power for two seconds and revealed the real me to everyone before changing me back again to the black and pink haired singer, her sister.

Emmett looked shocked and then he looked pained. "It's me Emmie-Bear. It's Bella." I said the words as soothingly and calmly as I could. "Bells?" He asked and his eyes were looking into mine. "Yes, Emmie-Bear, it's me." I started walking closer to him and before I knew what was happening I was being crushed into a big chest by two very strong arms hugging me to him. He started sobbing loudly onto my head and we crashed to the ground on our knees. "Shhhh... Emmy... Shhhh... I'm here..." I rubbed soothing circles into his big back as he rocked us slightly back and forth. "Bells... How? I heard you scream and by the time I got there your truck was on fire and I couldn't pull you out. If I touched the fire I would have burned with you..." he sobbed and I heard a collective gasp from our audience. I forgot that most of the people here didn't know what really happened and that Emmett was there to see some of it.

"I wasn't in the truck Em..." He pulled away from me looking into my eyes and moved a piece of hair out my face. "How? What happened Bells?" I looked into his pained eyes and I knew I had to tell him now. Audience or no audience. "She got me Emmy. I did scream but not because of a car crash. She bit me right before Jake and the pack could reach us. Two of them faked the accident while the rest took off after her. Jake ran me into the mountains, away from any people and he stayed there with me until I woke up again." Emmett was shacking under me. "I'll kill her, I swear to God Bells, I'll kill her, if it's the last thing I do." I cupped his cheek in my hand and moved his face to stare into his eyes. "You don't need to, the wolves got her..." Emmett nodded and buried his head in my hair as he pulled me closer to him for another hug. "I'm so sorry Bells, I never wanted to leave you." He started sobbing loudly again and it broke my dead heart.

"Shhhh... Emmy, it's alright. You didn't leave me. I know that now. I only realised it yesterday but you were always there by me. You never truly left me." I started sobbing long painful sobs as I remembered everyone leaving and I heard Emmett's sobs grow louder too. He started rocking us back and forth holding on to me like he was scared that I would disappear and I was doing the same thing. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward moving closer to us, his hand outstretched. He looked pained, no doubt hearing all of Emmett's thoughts.

A slow growl started building in Emmett's chest as Edward got closer and he pulled me impossibly closer to him. If I was still human it would have broken several of my ribs. Edward hesitated but took another step forward and Emmett answered with a louder growl. "Stay away from her!" He hissed and cradled me in his strong arms. Both of us had stopped sobbing for now and I was shocked by the force of his words to his brother. "Em... it's me. I'm not going to hurt her."

Emmett let out another loud growl and I saw the anger in his eyes. "I said stay away from her! It's your entire fault! If it wasn't for you we would all still be happy in Forks and Bella would still be alive. She wouldn't have gone through all the pain you put her through!" Emmett's words were lased with venom and it felt like my heart was breaking all over again, this time for the loss of my big brother. For the pain I had caused him when he thought I was dead. I clung onto his shirt and clawed my way closer to him while new sobs overtook my body.

Edward fell to his knees and I could hear him sobbing too. I had no doubt that Emmett was showing him some of the things he had witnessed when they all left me. Alice went over to Edward and started trying to calm him down. "Shhhh Edward. Everything will be alright... calm down..." Emmett started laughing loudly and sounded on the verge of hysterics. "And where were you Pixie? Why didn't you come and help Bella? Where were you when she was walking in dark streets in Port Angeles? Where were you when she started learning how to ride a motorbike and nearly died crashing every time? Where were you when Laurent tried to kill her in the meadow? Where were you when she started hanging out with teenage werewolves? Where were you when she jumped off a cliff? Where were you when Victoria came back!" He was screaming at them all now and I heard Alice break down into long painful sobs next to Edward and Jasper.

"Stop it Em!" I yelled at him and I could feel everyone staring at me. "Just stop it..." I said softer and hugged him close to me as he calmed down. "Just stop it..." I said again as sobs took my body. It was painful to remember all the memories he was bringing back and it was even more painful hearing my old family's sobs of pain behind me. He started rocking us back and forth again, kissing the top of my head every so often as everyone slowly started calming down. Eventually all the sobs quieted down and most of the people were holding on to one another. Trying to comfort the person next to them.

Jack was holding Susan in his arms; she was overcome by all our sadness and more than likely my pain. Mark was sitting on his blanket staring out at the peaceful lake, he looked angry, no doubt because he now knew more about the pain I went through. Jasper was holding on to Alice who was rocking back and forth with one of Edward's hands in hers. And my angel was sitting broken on the floor, staring at me and Emmett with dark dead eyes. My heart pulled to him but I didn't move. Here in Emmett's arms I felt save for the first time in more than a year and a half and I wasn't ready for that to stop yet.

"I'm sorry..." Alice looked up at me and Emmett and her eyes were dark with her pain. "I'm so sorry... I should have seen something but I didn't. Edward told me to stop looking into your future and I knew he would know if I cheated so I never did... I got the vision of your truck burning the day of the incident and we arrived a day late to save you. I'm so sorry Bella. I never knew... if I did I would have gone back... after we thought you were dead I stopped using my ability and I still haven't used it again. I am sorrier than you will ever know..." I turned my head more towards Alice and pulled myself from Emmett's arms until I was on my knees next to him. She looked so sad, in so much pain and she really did still care for me. She didn't want to leave me either.

I opened my arms and she leaped into them hugging me close and I hugged her back. She started sobbing again and I rocked her slowly against me. "Shhhh Ali, I forgive you Shhhh..." Emmett reached towards us with one of his big hands and put it on Alice. "I'm sorry Pixie... I didn't know... I'm so sorry. I jumped to conclusions." She looked up at her brother and left my arms to go and hug him too. They held onto each other and I couldn't help the little smile that spread onto my lips. "My big brother and sister finally made up." I stated and Emmett took me back into his arms for another bone crunching hug. "And my baby sister is still here, I love you Bells..." I smiled into his shoulder. "I love you too Emmie-Bear... you too little pixie." Alice beamed at me.

I heard another sob and looked around to see it was coming from Edward. He was looking out to the lake now clutching onto his side like he was in a lot of pain and I instantly recognised the move. He was clutching onto the hole in his chest, trying to keep from falling apart. I started moving towards him on my knees when I heard Emmett growl again. "It's okay Em... I'll be alright." I gave him a small smile and continued my path to Edward.

When I reached him I pulled his hands from around his chest and legs and made my way onto his lap, trying to hold him as best I could. The electricity between us hit me with full force. "Shhhh Edward... Shhhh... Please calm down... talk to me?" I begged and he let out a shaky breath and flung his arms around me holding me close. My whole body felt on fire as waves of electricity flowed between us. "I'm so sorry Bella. I kept them away from you... I took them away from you... I never wanted to hurt you like this... I didn't want to hurt them... I just wanted you to be happy and save. And I knew I couldn't do that..." his words cut through me as I finally understood why he left. He left because he thought he was too dangerous and that it was dangerous for me to be around him. He really did still love me; he was just trying to protect me.

I started laughing at him. "You know, you can be really stupid sometimes." He looked down into my eyes and raised an eyebrow at me. "How so?" I laughed again. "I was only happy and safe when you were with me." I said it as a statement and that is what it was, because that was the truth. He held me tighter and we stayed like that for a while.

Once I was sure Edward was alright I went over to the blanket Jasper was sitting on and I knelt in front of him. He looked up at me with big sad eyes and I knew he blamed himself for everything that happened. I took his face in my hands and looked straight in his eyes when I spoke. "Stop blaming yourself Jasper. I don't blame you, no one here does. I have never blamed you for any of this." He gave me a small smile and I dropped his face and gave him a big hug. He let out a big sigh and I held him tighter to me. Bringing all the love I felt for him and his family forward so he could feel it. "You really don't blame me do you?" he asked and I knew it worked. "Never have, not for a second. It was never your fault. So stop blaming yourself." He pulled me back to look at my face and he gave me a loving smile. "Thank you Bella. You don't know how this has been torturing me." I gave him a big smile back and another hug before I pecked him on the cheek and got to my feet again. Looking around at all the people I love.

Emmett was giving me a big smile and he patted the spot next to him on the blanket Alice had put out for him. I smiled back at him and went to sit down so I could face him, my secret protector for so long... he took my hand in his and rubbed soothing circles into it. "I can't believe you're really here Bells... I thought I lost you. I tried to help you that day but the stupid red head led me onto a false trail. I turned around when you screamed and once again I was too late... I was always too late..." I shook my head at him. "You're not too late Emmett, I'm right here. And I'm safe. With a lot of thanks to you." I gave him a big smile.

"I know it was you talking to me... the night in Port Angeles, the motorbikes, and the cliff, everything... I just don't understand how... why could no one else hear you?" he looked down at me and shook his head. "I'm not sure... I never said the words aloud. But yet you could hear me, and on the cliff I could hear you too. You were talking back in your head then weren't you?" I looked back at him and nodded. "Yes, I did..." he gave me an angry look then. "You wanted me to be human, so watch me?!" he threw my words from the cliff back at me and I cringed. "I'm sorry Em, I thought I was going crazy. I never wanted to kill myself like you thought. I was just so mad at you in that moment, at Edward, that I wanted to show him what he did and I jumped."

Everyone gasped and I turned around to look at them. "It's not what you think, I promise. I was cliff diving, all the kids down in La Push do it for fun. I just didn't notice how ruff the water below was and Jake had to pull be out of the water. It was stupid and reckless but it was also what I needed to do to survive back then." I looked at Edward and he nodded in understanding. I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding and looked back at Emmett.

"Tell me about what happened after... please Bells..." I sighed, it really wasn't a story I liked going into detail about, but for my protector I would. "Well lets see. Hmmm... Victoria attacked me when I was on my way home from La Push, saying the whole cliché a mate for a mate thing and that she was surprised to see I still had a secret protector there in Forks, you Em. She told me how she led you away on a false path and how you wouldn't be able to stop her now. She lunged at me and bit me once before Jake and his pack could pull her off me. That's when I screamed. I screamed from the sudden pain and burning in my neck and Jake morphed back into his human form then. He inspected my neck and knew what was happening even before I did. I heard him yelling orders to the rest of the pack to destroy my truck and make it look like an accident and to go after Victoria. He had a quick argument with Sam then that I couldn't hear and then he picked me up and carried me deep into the mountains."

Emmett looked down into my eyes. "I'm sorry I fell for it. I should have known it was a false trail." I smiled up at him. "Don't worry about it, you're already forgiven." He gave me a smile and nodded. "What happened next?" I turned my head around to face Edward who was staring into my eyes, curiosity burning in his. I continued my story.

"I lay there burning in a cave for three days as Jake took care of me. I didn't scream again no matter how much it hurt. I couldn't do that to him. He was only sixteen and was just as scared as I was. He would constantly run and get me ice and cold water to cool my burning skin and would tell me stories to calm my mind. He was my personal sun in the darkness that was my existence the six months before and especially so in those three painful days. On the third day as my heart was slowing down he said he had to leave but would be back in a few minutes. My heart stopped as I heard him come to the entrance of the cave and he let out an ear splitting yelp of pain. He was in his wolf form then." I smiled at the memories; they weren't bad to think of after all.

"I opened my eyes then and sat up looking at the big russet wolf standing in front of me with a dozen red roses in his mouth. He walked closer to me and as he did turned into his human form. And he got a big grin on his face when he said 'On a hot summers night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?' I smiled at him and we had this really cute little poem that we said to each other before he took me hunting for the first time." I smiled even bigger at that memory.

"When did you meet your new family?" Alice suddenly asked and this time I turned to look at her as I spoke. "I was hunting one day in the forest near the cave with Jake about a month after I was turned when I caught the smell of some really sweet blood and started chasing after it. I knew it wasn't a deer but I didn't know what kind of animal it was either. Jake ran directly behind me then and I looked at him. He never did that, he always ran a few feet behind me when I hunted and he yelled the one word I didn't want to hear, human." Alice gasped and I laughed.

"I stopped dead in my tracks, held my breath and ran into the opposite direction. Until I hit into a slightly lumpy rock." I laughed again and so did Alice. "Hey! I don't think I'm a slightly lumpy rock." Mark suddenly said and everyone started laughing when they realised I had meant that I ran into Mark. "Well I guess you aren't, but you still fell down like one." I laughed and so did he. "I remember, you collided with me with such force that we both fell to the ground."

"I walked over there then, wondering what Mark was breaking this time, only to find him lying on the ground with a very ashamed looking Izzy straddling him. Their faces almost touching." Susan laughed and I cringed before laughing. "I was gonna give them some privacy until I heard the wolf coming closer. As he broke through the trees he transformed back into a human running towards her looking very worried and trying to make sure she was alright. We both knew she was with the wolf then and that he didn't mean us any harm." Susan laughed again. And Mark spoke up again. "He told us about her bolting from the humans so fast that he couldn't keep up with her and apologised saying she was still young and learning." He laughed and I frowned at him. "We immediately offered her a place in our family if she wanted it and even said she could keep her dog. He refused to let her go with us at first and insisted that we not go too far away so he could still come and keep an eye on her. And the rest I guess as they say is history. Izzy and I got close and she became part of our family. We then moved here and everything changed." Mark got a sour look on his face and turned to look at the lake again. My heart broke for what felt like the millionth time today when I saw the pain in his eyes.

I got off from next to Emmett and walked over to Mark. "You don't need to come and sit with me Izzy, I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself..." my eyes softened even more and I sat down next to him and worked my way under his arm until he held me. The familiar tingle spread through my body and I relaxed even more. "I know you can Mark, but I'm just a little girl, and I need to be held." I smiled up at him and his eyes turned liquid caramel as he smiled down at me. "I'll always hold you my Izzy, you know that. I'll always protect you." He leaned down and gave me a small kiss on the forehead that caused a spark between us and I smiled feeling very happy in that moment.

"Wait, so the two of you are together? I thought..." Emmett was looking at the two of us and then to Edward and he looked confused. Before I could answer him, Mark spoke up. "We used to be... Izzy called it off a few days ago and I told her to go and find out what she wants, who she wants... that I'll be right here waiting for her if she decides it's me after all." Mark's eyes went from extreme pain to anger and then to extreme love as he spoke while looking me straight in the eyes. I felt the tingling intensify as he held me closer to him and I leaned my head into his neck and shoulder.

There was no denying the fact that I did love Mark, but there was also no denying the fact that I loved Edward. I couldn't help but wonder if there is more than one mate out there for everyone. In case something happened to the one, that there is a backup or something. So you never have to be alone...

I saw Jasper looking intensely at me and Mark and I knew that he could feel the emotions coming off of us. He opened his mouth to say something then stopped. He kept looking and did the same thing again. He did it another time and I finally had enough. "Just say it Jasper, you're driving me crazy." He looked at me apologetically and shook his head. Edward let out a big sigh and spoke up in a broken whisper. "He can feel the intensity of your feelings for one another and is wondering if it is possible that you might have two mates. One for when you were human and met me and one for after you got turned and met Mark..." Mark pulled me closer to him and I could feel him smiling next to me, clearly happy about how strong our bond is. My eyes met Edward's and they looked as broken as his voice sounded.

"That's not possible, is it?" I asked in a small voice and he looked up at me again. "I don't know. I've never heard of another vampire falling in love with a human before... I just, don't know..." he sounded so sad, so broken that it broke me as well. His pain was my pain and I let out a soft sob. "What's wrong Izzy?" Mark was rubbing soothing circles into my side trying to calm me down and I let out another soft sob. "Izzy, talk to me, what's wrong?" my hands started shaking and I got up and looked around at all the vampires sitting in the little meadow. My old family and my new family. My old mate and my new mate? I heard a pain filled sob and realised it was coming from me. I was shaking and stumbling, turning in a slow circle to look around.

"I... I need to go. I can't be here right now. Mark, please give me my keys?" I looked at him and he was frowning while he pulled them out of his pocket. "You can't keep running away Izzy, sooner or later you have to make up your mind." I looked at him started shaking even more while shaking my head at him. "I'm not... not running away." I said and realised that I probably didn't sound very convincing. "Yes you are Izzy, you keep running away. You're always running away. You're always running from something or someone, for once I would just like to see you running towards something. Anything." He was pleading at me with his eyes and as he said the last word he looked over at Edward who was standing with his one hand slightly in front of him.

"I'm not running away..." I said again, louder this time. I was getting angry now. "Stop lying Izzy, we all know you are." Mark was staring me in the eyes and I couldn't keep myself together for much longer. I looked around at everyone again and they were all looking at me. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my keys out his hand and said, "I'm not running, I have to go see someone. Now." And with that I ran as fast as I could to my bike.

It was just me and the highway again but this time I had a destination. Forks Washington, or rather La Push reservation and Jake.

~-~-~

AN: So what do you guys think? Please leave me a review with your thoughts. What do you think is gonna happen next?


	11. Chapter Ten: Imprinting Twice Over?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics. Sorry for any mistakes, I still don't have a BETA, if you are interested; please let me know in a review. Enjoy the chapter :D.

Chapter Ten: Imprinting Twice Over?

~-~-~

"Many people believe that love is so exclusive and unique that even entertaining the thought that you're in love with two people means you're not really in love with either."

Unknown

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

I watched Bella grab her keys from Mark's hand and run at inhuman speed away. A few seconds later I heard her bike roar to life and she sped away from the school for the second time. I fell to my knees. I couldn't stand anymore, my legs felt weak, like they weren't really there. My Bella was in love with someone else and that was killing me now. How could I have ever allowed this to happen? How could I ever leave her?

I thought I made her safe by leaving her and in the end I only put her in more danger. I hated myself for that. It's my entire fault. All her pain is my fault. That she now loves Mark is my fault. I felt my dead heart break again and the hole in my chest tore open even wider than before. Have I lost her for good this time?

"Stop it Edward. You're killing me over here." Jasper was walking to me and I nodded. "Edward, I never said she didn't love you anymore, the opposite really." I gave him a look of what I think is confusion and he sighed. "Bella has very strong feelings for Mark and he shares them with her. However, she has extremely strong feelings for you as well and as you know, the two of you can barely function without each other. I know I was wondering about her having two mates, but we all know there is only one true mate for each of us. She just has to discover for herself which person it is she feels strongest about." I nodded my head.

"You mean she loves them both?" Emmett asked. "How is that possible?" Jasper turned to him. "I'm not really sure. I was thinking that she fell in love with Edward when she was still human, and they became mates. But then when she got turned and he wasn't there, Mark showed up and they fell for each other. I'm not sure how it works or why it happened but I do know that we only have one true mate. What do you feel when you're near her Mark?" Jasper turned to look at Mark who was pacing back and forth worried about Bella.

"What do you mean, what do I feel? I love Izzy." Mark spat the words at Jasper and looked really angry. "Tell me about it?" Jasper offered and Mark seemed to calm down and he got a smile on his face. "She's wonderful, absolutely perfect in every way. She is the most beautiful person I have ever seen and she has the most beautiful mind. She is selfless and always puts me first. When she's near me, I just want to get closer to her. And my whole body starts tingling when we touch. When her lips meet mine I feel a spark and it feels like I'm in heaven." I cringed at his words and Jasper nodded. "And how do you feel when she leaves?" Mark looked up at him again and frowned. "Lonely, like I should be with her." Jasper nodded again and turned to me.

"Edward, same question, what do you feel when you're near Bella, tell me about how you see her." I looked up at him shaking my head. "There are no words." He shook his head. "Try, please." I sat there on my knees and thought about it. "Bella was the most interesting and disorienting person I have ever met. She never reacts the way you would expect her to. She is unnaturally observant and her brown human eyes had the most depth I have ever seen in anyone's eyes. She is totally selfless, always putting what others want and need before her own. She is fiercely loyal and would never betray any of the people she loved." I noticed everyone staring at me with their mouths hanging open but continued anyway.

"She is very shy and hates pulling any attention to herself, often wishing she could be invisible. She is extremely intelligent. She hates the cold and wet but learned to love it as she learned to love me. Bella is a martyr but of a different type. She doesn't want an audience for her pain and prefers to suffer in silence." Everyone was still staring at me as I continued. "Bella talked in her sleep as a human. She used to call out my name and I would watch her sleep, always watching over her, protecting her. I love her, every part of her. The little furrow she gets in between her eyebrows when she is thinking about something unpleasant. The way she bites her bottom lip when she gets shy or ashamed or nervous. The way her eyes light up when she watches or reads Romeo & Juliet even though she knows it all by heart. The way she attracts danger and trouble to herself like she is a magnet. The sharp electricity I feel whenever I'm near her, the way her lips were meant for mine and her hands fit perfectly in mine...There is nothing I don't love about Bella."

Jasper looked shocked at my confession and so did everyone else. He finally pulled himself together and asked. "And when she is gone? How do you feel when she leaves?" I looked up at him, my face full of pain, clutching to my side. "Like I'm dying a slow very painful death with no release to come. I have a hole in my chest that burns so fierce that I want to scream out in pain but I know that doesn't relieve the pain. Nothing makes the hole go away; nothing makes it smaller or more bearable. I have lived with it every day for the last year and a half, wishing for death to come. For God to just strike me down and reunite me with my love. But it never came because she wasn't dead. The only time the hole goes away is when I am with her. When she holds me or sits by me and I can feel her, smell her. There is nothing worse than being away from her and nothing better than being with her."

Jasper looked down to me and nodded. "I see..." _I don't know what's going on Edward, but I can tell you, you are her real mate. Your love for her is only matched by her love for you. But you are going to have to fight for her. Mark won't let her go without a fight. She is the closest he has ever been to finding his mate._ I lifted my eyes to the full moon and lowered them to the dark lake, silently letting Jasper know I heard him and I would fight. I would fight for my love, even if it killed me.

~-~-~

BPOV (Bella/Izzy)

I drove for what felt like hours until I finally reached Fork's city limits. I sped down the empty streets while memories flooded my mind. I got to the limit of La Push in less time than ever. I stopped the bike and got off. I knew I wouldn't have to wait for very long for one of the wolves to spot me and let Jake know I'm here. I walked into the forest and sat down on the ground with my back against a tree.

"Bells? What you doing here? Is everything alright?" Jake, my Jake. I jumped up and ran over to him. He grabbed me into a big hug and started laughing. "Looks like someone has been missing me huh?" He asked and I just hugged him tighter. "I did Jake. It's been too long." He smiled and let me go. "Yes it has, I'm sorry I haven't been to see you in a while. I just wanted you to settle into school first. How is that going?" I sighed and sat down on the ground again. "Not good Jake... the Cullen's are there..." He was fuming mad. "They're what?!" I sighed again. "Calm down Jake. It's alright." He sat down on the ground still fuming.

"No, it's not. What do they want?" I looked up at him. "Me, I guess... they said it was all a mistake, that they only left to protect me from them." Jake started laughing really loud. "And you fell for that Bella? I thought you're smarter than that?" I looked away from him, my anger getting the best of me. "Yes... and I am smarter than that. I'm just really confused Jake. I don't know what to do..." he sighed and his eyes softened. "I'm sorry Bells, I just hate them for what they did to you. I don't want you to get hurt again." I gave him a small smile. "I know Jake. I don't want to hurt anymore either."

We sat there talking for a few hours. I told him everything that has happened up until tonight. Including Emmett being the one that stayed behind and tried to protect me. "Well I have to admit Bells. Maybe they aren't as bad as what I thought they were." I nodded to him and gave him a sad smile. "See, I told you so. They aren't bad people Jake, they just made a mistake." He snorted. "A huge mistake that cost you your life." I sighed. "And a huge mistake that now has us closer than ever." His eyes softened and he smiled brightly. "True..."

"Jake, tell me about imprinting?" I suddenly asked this is why I came here tonight. He smiled at me. "What do you want to know about it?" I smiled back. "Everything." He got a really goofy grin on his face and his eyes seemed to be very far away as he spoke. "It's magical Bells. It's like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. It's like gravity shifts and the world doesn't revolve around the sun anymore but it resolves around that person. You get drawn to them and they become your world. They are all you think about and they are the only person that matters. You would do anything for them. Tell them anything. You would die for them without thinking about it twice." I smiled at him as he told me and he sounded so excited. "There's an electricity that always flows around you when they are nearby and when you touch you feel sparks. It's like nothing else you will ever experience. It's love at first sight only much stronger. It's when you find your soul mate Bells, the person you are made to be with."

I frowned. "Can you imprint on more than one person at the same time?" Jake frowned too. "I haven't personally seen it, but yes, there are some legends that tell of the elders imprinting on more than one person. The legend also says that there is a dominant one and a recessive one. Even though you will love both of them, you will love one more than the other. And that one is your dominant imprint, the person you are really meant for. In those days, they used to threaten to kill the imprinted woman so the wolves could see who their dominant mate was."

I gasped. "That's horrible Jake!" He laughed. "Sure sure, but they never did kill any of them. But the threat alone was enough to make the men try and sacrifice themselves for the right one. Why do you ask Bells? What aren't you telling me?" I sighed, he knew me too well. My mom did always say I was an open book. "I love both of them Jake, both Mark and Edward. I don't know how to choose..." He sighed at me. "That's easy Bells, choose Mark, he'd never leave you, never hurt you." I looked up at him. "It's not that easy Jake... I don't know if I can live without Edward, he's like my air, I need him to breathe." Jake let out a big belly of a laugh. "Bells, technically you don't need to breathe anymore." I shook my head at him. "I know Jake, but it's uncomfortable not to. It's a reaction I can't stop, that I don't want to stop." He sighed. "So if the bloodsucker is your air, what is Mark?" I scowled at him. "Edward Jake, his name is Edward. Mark is the glue that's holding my heart together." I let out a shaky sigh and Jake took a serious expression.

"So if _Edward_ is your air and Mark is glue, which one do you need more? Could Mark become your air? Could _Edward _become the glue?" I rolled my eyes at the way he said Edward's name. "I don't know Jake. I think Edward has always been the glue. Breathing Mark feels like breathing in laughing gas, he makes me happy and he takes away most of the pain if not all, but it's like a mask. He doesn't really heal anything, just numbs it. With Edward everything is different, it's like the hole was never there to begin with. There is no pain, no mask. Just love." Jacob gave me an understanding smile. "I think you have your answer Bells. You need air, not laughing gas." I looked up into his eyes and I finally felt like I understood myself better.

"Nessie is a very lucky girl." Jake gave me a brilliant smile. "Nah, I'm the lucky one Bells. She is perfect to me in every way. She even understands that my best friend is a stinky leech that really needs to take a shower before she comes to visit me." Jake grabbed onto his nose with a disgusted look on his face. "I mean, seriously Bells, when last did you shower?" I faked being hurt and scowled at him before I smirked. "Well at least I don't smell like wet _DOG_!" Jake and I both started laughing and he gave me a tight hug. "Love you Bells." I smiled into his shoulder. "Love you too Jake."

We sat there in the forest talking for a few more hours until the sun was starting to get hot. "I should get going Bells, Nessie will be wondering where I am." I smiled at him. "Sure sure, tell her I say hello and thank you that I could borrow you for so long." He gave me his Nessie smile. "Will do Bells. Don't hesitate to come and visit again. And remember, I'm just a phone call or text away. Now go and get your air Bells." I gave him another hug and we went our separate ways again.

~-~-~

It took me just over an hour and a half to make the three hour trip back home. I pulled into my usual spot and everything was unnaturally quiet. Then I remembered it was Sunday. Most of the campus kids would be in town or at their parents' houses for the weekend. I wished I could go and visit Charlie, but Billy and Jake take good care of him. Nessie even cooks for him. I let out a sigh and started walking towards the little meadow where we were last night, hoping that he would still be there. That he was waiting for me.

I reached the centre of the meadow and it was empty. I sat down on the picnic bench and lay down on my arms. Was I too late? Did he hate me now? I let out a shaky breath and watched the sparkling lake in front of me. "He's in his room." I spun around on the bench to see Alice staring at me. I wasn't sure if she meant Mark or Edward. "Which one?" I asked in an unemotional voice. She raised her eyebrows at me. "Edward of course. He's been lying in his bed, under the blankets since we went to our rooms. He's hurt Bella." I cringed and nodded. "I know... I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to feel anything for Mark but I guess it just came." She sat down next to me and put her hand on my arm. It felt natural, like a sister looking out for her sister. "And Edward?" I let out a sigh.

"Mark is laughing gas, Edward is oxygen. One numbs pain and makes you happy; the other makes it feel like there never was any pain to start with. You need air to breath. You can't survive off laughing gas alone." Alice squealed and gave me a big hug. "Oh Bella, this makes me so happy. You two belong together!" I smiled at her but then got serious again. "I'm still scared Alice. I can't survive not breathing again." She nodded. "I know, but at least we both know you love Edward and he is your true mate. For now, that is all that matters." I nodded and gave her another smile. "Go to him Bella, he needs to know you care for him. He feels abandoned, like you found someone else, someone better." I frowned. "Never Alice. Edward holds my heart in his hands." She smiled brightly. "Then go Bella, go to him."

I got up and started running at human speed to his room, just in case someone saw me. I finally got there and froze in front of the door, hesitating. I lifted my hand up and knocked three times waiting for a response. Nothing. I knocked again three times and heard a grunt coming from inside his room. "Go away Alice, I'm _sleeping_!" I laughed in my head at him and opened the door. I instantly felt the electricity and smiled to myself. His room was dark, the curtains were closed and I could see his body lying under the covers of his bed. There were CD's and books lying everywhere and there was soft sad music playing in the background.

"Sleeping huh?" I asked as I made my way over to his bed and sat down next to his body. Instantly he shop up and looked me straight in the eye, confused to see me. I felt waves of electricity coming from him and my whole body started tingling. Pulling me towards him like a magnet. Like gravity shifting and pulling me to him, I smiled again. "Mind if I join you? I could do with a little nap." I said as I smiled at him. He seemed to gain control of himself again and shook his head as he pulled the covers away for me to get it.

I shifted myself till I was as close as possible to him without actually touching him. "Would you mind holding me? Like you used to when I was still human." He gave me a sad smile and put his arms softly around me. I moved myself as close as possible now and could feel the shock run through every inch of me that touched him. I smiled and let out a content sigh. There was no more pain, no hole, no cracks. It was like I was never broken to begin with. I heard Edward give a content sigh as well and knew he was probably thinking the same thing.

"This feels perfect." He said softly and I nodded my head against his chest. "I agree. I could stay here forever." He shifted under me and I looked up at him. "Then stay Bella, stay here with me, always. I never want to let you go again." I sighed and looked away from him. "I can't... I'm too scared... I've been broken before, I don't think I could survive that again..." he let out a shaky breath. "Look at me Bella." I looked up at him and his eyes were filled with love and longing. "I love you Bella, I have never stopped loving you, I never will. You were made for me and I was made for you. We belong together Bella, I know it. I can feel it." my breathing was coming harder now and I just nodded at him, not trusting my voice. He leaned his head up towards mine slowly until I could feel his breath on my lips again.

"Edward..." I said in a low whisper. "Say stop and I will..." I looked into his liquid golden eyes filled with so much love and wanting and I knew my eyes must be showing the same thing. "Edward..." I whispered again. He was less than an inch away from my lips. "That's not stop Isabella." He said and I could feel his breath cover my face and I was gone. Truth be told I was gone a long time ago. Painfully slow he covered the rest of the distance between us and our lips met in a slow love filled kiss. There was another wave of electricity and our lips fit together perfectly. Moving in perfect unison. I felt his hand move to my back pulling me closer to him and my hand started moving up to his neck pulling his head deeper into mine.

He shifted his body so he was hovering slightly above me, our lips never leaving each other. And I felt him pull me closer to him again. My hand moved into his silky hair and I pulled on it lightly as I tried to get closer to him. I slowly moved my tongue against his bottom lip and I heard him moan into my mouth and I moaned into his. His lips parted for the first time ever and our tongues met each other half way. Dancing to their own song. A song that was made just for them. I moaned again and Edward pulled me impossibly closer to him, deepening the kiss even more. He moaned into my mouth and I pulled on his hair again. Our lips and tongues were dancing and it felt like this is how it was always supposed to be. I thought of how much I loved Edward and he moaned again pulling himself on top of me totally.

Reluctantly I pulled away from the kiss, panting for air and breathing very hard. I looked at Edward and he was doing the same thing. He fell next to me on the bed and pulled me into his arms as our breathing calmed. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that..." I was hurt by his words. Was he regretting kissing me already? "Do you regret kissing me?" I asked in a pained voice that I couldn't hide. His eyes got big and they filled with more love. "No, never my Bella. I was just scared that you did..." I shook my head at him. "I could have stopped you..." he smiled at me then and pulled me closer to him. "Yes, you're right."

We lay there under the blankets for a long time before we said anything again. "Bella?" I moved my head so I could see him. "hmmm?" I replied feeling happy and safe. He gave a small sigh. "What about Mark?" I frowned and he got an apologetic expression on his face. "Can I show you something?" I asked and he looked excited, his eyes burning with desire to be able to hear my mind. I gave him a little smile and shifted so I could put my hand on his cheek cradling it softly.

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

"Can I show you something?" Bella asked with a concentrated look and I nodded enthusiastically. I would love nothing more now than to hear Bella's thoughts. To know how she really felt about me. About Mark. She gave me a small smile and put her hand on my cheek cradling it softly. "It's easier when I touch you." I lifted my hand to rest on top of hers and gave her a smile back.

_Suddenly I was in a dark forest that looked a lot like Forks. Bella was sitting on the ground with her back against a tree and across from her was the wolf, Jacob Black. I knew he meant her no harm but I still felt protective over Bella. Her angels voice filled the forest. "Jake, tell me about imprinting?" the wolf smiled at her. "What do you want to know about it?" she gave him a smile. "Everything." He got a goofy grin on his face and was looking far away as he answered her. "It's magical Bells. It's like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. It's like gravity shifts and the world doesn't revolve around the sun anymore but it revolves around that person. You get drawn to them and they become your world. They are all you think about and they are the only person that matters. You would do anything for them. Tell them anything. You would die for them without thinking about it twice. There's an electricity that always flows around you when they are nearby and when you touch you feel sparks. It's like nothing else you will ever experience. It's love at first sight only much stronger. It's when you find your soul mate Bells, the person you are made to be with."_

_Bella frowned at the wolf. "Can you imprint on more than one person at the same time?" he frowned at her and I could feel myself frown too. "I haven't personally seen it but yes, there are legends that tell of the elders imprinting on more than one person. The legend also says that there is a dominant one and a recessive one._ _Even though you will love both of them, you will love one more than the other. And that one is your dominant imprint, the person you are really meant for."_

_The image changed as she skipped over some things. "Why do you ask Bells? What aren't you telling me?" she let out a sigh. "I love both of them Jake, both Mark and Edward. I don't know how to choose..." Bella skipped over a part again. "It's not that easy Jake... I don't know if I can live without Edward, he's like my air, I need him to breathe." The wolf laughed at her. "Bells, technically you don't need to breathe anymore." She shook her head. "I know Jake, but it's uncomfortable not to. It's a reaction I can't stop, that I don't want to stop." He sighed. "So if the bloodsucker is your air, what is Mark?" She scowled at him and I didn't know how I should feel about his name for me. "Edward Jake, his name is Edward. Mark is the glue that's holding my heart together." She let out a shaky sigh and the wolf looked at her seriously. _

"_So if Edward is your air and Mark is glue, which one do you need more? Could Mark become your air? Could Edward become the glue?" She rolled her hazel eyes at him. "I don't know Jake. I think Edward has always been the glue. Breathing Mark feels like breathing in laughing gas, he makes me happy and he takes away most of the pain if not all, but it's like a mask. He doesn't really heal anything, just numbs it. With Edward everything is different, it's like the hole was never there to begin with. There is no pain, no mask. Just love." He gave her an understanding smile. "I think you have your answer Bells. You need air, not laughing gas."_

Bella took her hand of my cheek and I was back in my dark bedroom. She looked me straight in the eyes. "Without you, there is no air. I can't breathe without you. I love you Edward." Without even thinking about it I smashed my lips to hers in a passionate kiss. Our lips met and the spark flew between us more powerful than ever. We started moving in unison again as I moved my hand to cradle her beautiful face. She pulled me closer and we deepened the kiss. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips as Bella tugged lightly on the back of my hair. I pulled my lips apart from hers, hovering them less that a centimetre away from hers. "I love you too Bella. More than you will ever know." She gave me a brilliant smile and our lips met for another kiss.

After what felt like forever we pulled away panting and breathing hard. Bella snuggled into my side and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me. "I love you so much my Bella. I wish I never left you. I wish it was me that was looking out for you when Victoria came back." Bella lifted her head and looked at my face. She looked angry. "Stop it. stop apologizing. If you never left then I would still be human. You never wanted to change me..." she suddenly got a strange expression on her face and sat up on the bed looking towards the door. "How could I be this stupid?" I was confused. I reached my arm up to her shoulder and she shrugged it off. "What do you mean you're being stupid?" I asked even though I dreaded the answer.

"You never wanted to change me. You weren't ever going to change me. You were going to let me die and then move on with your life..." she looked so lost as she spoke the words. "You're right." I told her and she looked hurt. I held up my hand to let her know I wasn't finished. "You're right, I didn't want to change you. I didn't want you to become a monster like me. I never wanted you to lose your soul. But I wasn't going to move on with my life as you put it. I was going to go to the Volturi and ask them to kill me." She got impossibly angrier. "You were what?! I can't believe you just said that Edward. After everything we've been through, after everything we've talked about. You just thought you would take the easy way out and off yourself?" we both cringed at her words and I immediately regretted saying anything.

"I don't want to live without you Bella. The only reason I am still here is because Alice convinced me that you wouldn't have wanted me to do it." she got off the bed and started pacing back and forth in my room. "Do you think I wanted to live without you? Do you think I wanted to live knowing that you didn't want me anymore? I didn't want to live Edward. I wanted to die. I was dead. I was a zombie before Victoria got me. Jake was there for me and he cheered me up a little but I was still dead. I was hollow and empty and just not nice to be around. You killed me when you left me..."

In her anger she must have dropped her shield by accident. Images off what Bella went through after I left flashed through my mind as I saw everything from her eyes. Her lying on the floor of the forest the day I left her. Wet from the rain. Broken like I've never seen her before. Her hearing the town people calling to her but unable to respond. Her chanting 'he left. He left. He left' over and over as Sam, one of the wolves picked her up and took her to Charlie. Her lying on the couch hearing Charlie worry about her as he spoke to the doctor. Later her hearing Charlie tell her mother she is practically in a coma of some kind and that he can't do this anymore. That Renee should come and fetch her. A skinnier Bella looking at herself in the mirror as she tried to make herself look alive.

"Stop it please..." I begged. I couldn't take it anymore. She was going to be the death of me if she continued to show me all these things. "Stop what?" She stopped pacing and I could hear her mind was confused, wondering what I meant. "Your shield is down... I could see everything you were thinking about." Bella got a sad expression on her face and then I could feel her mind slipping away again as he raised her shield back up. "I'm not going to say sorry, even though it was by accident. You need to know what I went through after you left me. I can't just pretend like nothing happened. I don't want to. I can't trust you Edward. I want to but I can't. For all I know in a week's time you'll be bored of me again and then you'll leave... I think I made a mistake coming here." Bella was walking towards the door. She was going to leave...

"Wait. You didn't make a mistake. I'm the only one that made a mistake. I should never have left you Bella. I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen". She turned around and looked me straight in the eye. She looked so sad. "I know you didn't Edward. You never meant for me to be like you. You never meant to spend the rest of forever with me. I know that now..." She took another step towards the door. "Bella. You know I didn't mean it like that. Of course I want to spend the rest of eternity with you. Nothing would make me happier." Bella looked away and I knew that if she could, she would be crying. "Stop Edward. Just stop. I'm not the gullible little human anymore. I never should have come here. I should go." I got off the bed and took her hand in mine. "Please don't go Bella. I love you." She shook her hand loose out of mine and turned the doorknob. "I'm sorry Edward. I can't do this."

With that she was out the door and my heart was broken all over again.

~-~-~

AN: So what do you guys think? Please let me know :). Who do you think Bella will end up with? Who do you want her to end up with? Is there anything specific you would like to see happen? If so, please let me know and I'll see what I can do :). Oh and before I forget, if you know any good songs for the story, leave the name in a review and I might use them.

Btw, thank you guys so much for all the great reviews. I know you all seem to like Mark and I'm so happy that you do. I can't tell you if Bella will end up with Mark or Edward yet but I will say this. The story will have a happy ending for everyone.

Until next time, leave me a review :D


	12. Chapter Eleven: Fight

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics. Sorry for any mistakes, I still don't have a BETA, if you are interested; please let me know in a review. Enjoy the chapter :D.

Chapter Eleven: Fight

~-~-~

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

Erica Jong, _O Magazine, February 2004_

~-~-~

BPOV (Bella/Izzy)

Here I am. Lying in the arms of the man I love. Man? Hmmm boy? No, vampire. A vampire. Just like me. I hate thinking of how I became one. He didn't want to change me. "I love you so much my Bella. I wish I never left you. I wish it was me that was looking out for you when Victoria came back." I got angry. If he was there then I wouldn't be a vampire right now. I'd be 20 and he would be forever 17 while I grow old and die! "Stop it. Stop apologizing. If you never left then I would still be human. You never wanted to change me..." he never wanted to spend forever with me. He was always planning for me to die. Mark was right. He'll just get bored and leave me again... I sat up on the bed and started shaking my head back and forth trying to clear it. "How could I be this stupid?" I am such an idiot. Even now I don't deserve him, and he knows it too. He reached his hand onto my shoulder and I shrugged it off. I couldn't handle him touching me right now. "What do you mean you're being stupid?" he asked and sounded a little scared.

"You never wanted to change me. You weren't ever going to change me. You were going to let me die and then move on with your life..." I feel so lost. I don't know what to do.' He'll just get bored and leave again Izzy. He's just here because you've changed.' Mark's voice was sounding in my head. Repeating his words over and over again. 'He'll just hurt you again Izzy.' "You're right." I looked back at him and his words stung more than I thought it would. He held up his hand and continued. "You're right; I didn't want to change you. I didn't want you to become a monster like me. I never wanted you to lose your soul. But I wasn't going to move on with my life as you put it. I was going to go to the Volturi and ask them to kill me." A monster?! That's what he thinks we are? A soul-less monster?! Wait, he was going to ask them to kill him? He was just going to take the easy way out when I was told to take care of myself? "You were what?! I can't believe you just said that Edward. After everything we've been through, after everything we've talked about. You just thought you would take the easy way out and off yourself?" I cringed. I felt like I was going to start crying any moment. God I wish I could cry.

"I don't want to live without you Bella. The only reason I am still here is because Alice convinced me that you wouldn't have wanted me to do it." I got off the bed and started pacing back and forth. I was so angry and so hurt. Flashes of the six months after he left me went through my mind and no matter how hard I tried to push them away, they just kept coming. "Do you think I wanted to live without you? Do you think I wanted to live knowing that you didn't want me anymore? I didn't want to live Edward. I wanted to die. I was dead. I was a zombie before Victoria got me. Jake was there for me and he cheered me up a little but I was still dead. I was hollow and empty and just not nice to be around. You killed me when you left me..."

"Stop it please..." he begged, there was so much pain in his voice that I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him. "Stop what?" He looked up at me with pained eyes. "Your shield is down... I could see everything you were thinking about." God, I never meant for him to find out like this. I lifted my shield back up. I wanted to show him when we were more comfortable with each other. He has to know what he did to me. He has to know how much he broke me when he left. "I'm not going to say sorry, even though it was by accident. You need to know what I went through after you left me. I can't just pretend like nothing happened. I don't want to. I can't trust you Edward. I want to but I can't. For all I know in a week's time you'll be bored of me again and then you'll leave... I think I made a mistake coming here." Saying the words was more painful than I ever thought it would be. It was like saying them made them real. I started walking towards the door. I have to get out of here.

"Wait. You didn't make a mistake. I'm the only one that made a mistake. I should never have left you Bella. I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen." I bit back a sob. He never meant for any of this to happen. He didn't want me like him. He didn't want me forever. And now he feels stuck with me. I turned around and looked at him. "I know you didn't Edward. You never meant for me to be like you. You never meant to spend the rest of forever with me. I know that now..." I turned to walk out again. "Bella. You know I didn't mean it like that. Of course I want to spend the rest of eternity with you. Nothing would make me happier." Then why am I the only one fighting for us?! I can't take this anymore. I swallowed the sob that was threatening to come out. "Stop Edward. Just stop. I'm not the gullible little human anymore. I never should have come here. I should go." He got off the bed and grabbed my hand. "Please don't go Bella. I love you." He loves me? He loves me?! Then why doesn't he fight for me? Why am I the one who has to come to him? I don't want to keep fighting this losing battle. I pulled my hand loose from his and turned the doorknob. "I'm sorry Edward. I can't do this." I ran as fast as I could to my room, I didn't care if anyone saw me.

~-~-~

It felt like forever before I reached my door. I threw it open as I ran in, shoving it closed as I went. I didn't look around; I went straight to the vase on my table and threw it against the wall as I let out an angry scream. "Izzy..." Mark's voice broke through my angry thoughts and I instantly calmed. I turned around and there he stood in front of my bed. "Mark..." He took three big steps forward and embraced me, holding me to his chest. I took a deep breath in. Oak, fresh rain on hot tar and sand, Mark. I love the way he smells. I felt myself melt against his chest and I snaked my arms around his waist.

"I was so scared Izzy... I thought you weren't coming back. I'm so sorry I yelled at you. I had no right to yell at you like that. You probably hate me?" I pulled my head back so I could look at his face. His eyes were dark and looked pained. "I could never hate you Mark." I looked away and took a step back. "But I can't love you the way you deserve to be loved either. No matter how much I wish I could." He took a step forward and reached for my hand. There was a slight spark that almost burned as our skin came into contact with each other. I looked down at our hands. "Do you feel that Izzy?" I nodded my head still looking at our hands. He took my other hand as well. "It gets stronger every day. Did you know that?" Again I just nodded my head. I have noticed it. The more I pull away from Edward, the stronger the spark between Mark and I get.

"Mark, this isn't right." I pulled my hands away from his and put them in my pockets. "I love Edward." I couldn't look at him and turned to face my window. Mark walked in front of me and lifted my chin so I could look at him. "But you also love me Izzy. I know you do." I blinked, waiting for the tears to come that never again would. "It's not enough..." Before I could finish my sentence he crashed his lips to mine. Our lips fit together perfectly but I didn't move mine. I don't want to lead him on any more than what I already have. "Izzy..." He whined against my lips but I was frozen. "Izzy... I love you. I'm in love with you. Please just let me show you..." he was still speaking against my lips and I could feel my resolve slipping away. "Mark..." I warned. "Please Izzy... Please..."

He put his one arm tightly around my waist and pulled me towards him while his other hand moved into my hair. And I couldn't help but melt against his body. My lips started moving with his without me even telling them to and I felt my hands move into his hair, pulling him closer still. The arm he had around my waist moved lower and he lifted me off the ground so he wouldn't need to lean down any more. This kiss wasn't like any kiss I have ever had before. He was so passionate. So loving. He took my breath away and made me feel things I haven't ever felt before. I've never wanted to be closer to him than what I want to right now. I lifted my legs and wound them around his waist. I need to be closer... As if reading my mind he took his jacket off and threw it onto the floor. His hands moved down to my waist and moved over my hips, massaging them roughly.

He broke the kiss breathing hard and kissed down my neck over to my shoulders and back up to my ears as he whispered. "Izzy... I love you... but if you don't stop me now I don't think I will be able to..." my mind was hazy and I felt drunk. It took me longer than it should to realize what he was saying. His hands continued massaging my hips and I could feel the one slipping in under my shirt. His fingers lightly skimming the skin there, sending sparks all throughout my body. Do I want him to stop? No, I've never wanted him this much ever. Yes, this isn't right... but I love him... but he loves me... Edward... Edward. I can't do this. "Stop... Mark stop... we can't do this..." Mark stopped kissing me and just held me where we were until our breathing calmed a bit. "I'm sorry Izzy... I got carried away..." I gave him a little hug as I lowered my legs and he set me back down on the floor. "No, I'm sorry. I let it go too far. I got carried away as well."

I went to go sit on the bed and he sat down next to me. "Where did you go? When you left." I looked up at him and gave a sad smile. "I went to go and see Jake. I asked him about imprinting..." Mark gave a shaky sigh. "What did he say? Is it possible to imprint on two people?" I nodded and looked away. "Izzy... I deserve to know what he said." I looked up at him again. His eyes were so dark. I wonder if it is because of what happened? I sighed. "He said it is possible, but that one is dominant and the other recessive. Only one is your true mate..." This time Mark looked away. "Why does it happen?" I blinked. I wasn't expecting that question. "Well I guess it's like a contingency plan. In case something happens to the one, then you still have the other one to fall back on..." I cringed. The words sounded even worse out loud than in my head. "So I am your contingency plan? I am the recessive one?" I nodded and then realised he wasn't looking so said it out loud instead. "Yes..."

Mark looked down and took my hand in his, caressing it softly. Lovingly. "Is there a way that I could become the dominant one? Is there a chance for us?" I took a deep breath and let it out again, biting my bottom lip. I wish I could cry... Mark looked up at my face and put his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb over my lips so I would stop biting them. "Don't cry Izzy..." What? How did he know that was what I was trying to do? "I can't cry..." He gave me a little smile. "No, but you bite your bottom lip when you wish you could." I couldn't help the little smile that played at my lips. I nodded. "So, is there a way?" I looked up at him again. "I don't know... Jake didn't say if it is possible. I didn't think too ask... I'm sorry..." he gave me another smile and caressed my hand some more. "I'll call him. I'll ask. If it's alright with you? I want to fight for us Izzy. I don't want to lose you." He wants to fight for me? For us? He was here in my room, waiting for me, trying to fight. While Edward was in his bed sulking... I nodded. I didn't trust my voice.

"I think we should go hunt. You're eyes are pitch black. I've never seen them so dark." He caressed my cheek under my eyes as he spoke. "Your eyes are just as dark..." He gave me a stunning smile. "It's because I almost lost all control with you. I almost gave in to all my senses. I've never done that before Izzy... I've never felt such desire in all my existence." I nodded. "Me neither..." it was true. I've never felt so wanted in my life. Not even with Edward. Our kisses were always innocent, sweet. But just now with Mark. There was so much passion. I could feel how much he loved and wanted me and I wanted him too... he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "Come, let's go hunting. After that I will take you to Emmett. I'm sure the two of you still have a lot to talk about. And Susan wants to go dancing." I smiled back at him and couldn't help but giggle as he dragged me out of my room.

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

I went to sit on my bed and buried my head in my hands. I let out a loud yell of frustration. What did I do? How could I say that to her? How could I let her think I never wanted her like she wanted me? How could she even believe that? Argh! This is just so frustrating. Suddenly my door burst open and a slightly panicked Alice ran in. "What did you do Edward? What did you do?" I let out a big sigh. "Calm down Alice." She looked furious. "I will not calm down! What did you say to her to push her away? Why would you do that? Why would you push her into his arms? I thought you loved her!" her mind was focused on a song and I immediately knew she was hiding something. "What did you see Alice? Why are you so freaked out?" She sat down on the chair near the bed. "You first. What did you say to her?" I let out a big sigh. "I might have said that I never wanted her to be a vampire. That I never would have changed her if I didn't leave." Alice flew up and slapped me hard against my face. I grabbed hold off cheek and looked up at her with wide eyes. "How could you say that to her Edward?! You know her! How could you say that you didn't want her forever?" I was confused. "But I didn't say that Alice." She looked like she wanted to slap me again. "Yes Edward you did. When you told her you never wanted to change her, it's like telling her that you don't want to spend forever with her. That you don't want her. That you won't fight for her."

I cussed and threw the lamp next to me against the wall where it shattered into hundreds of little glass pieces. "I do want her Alice. I do love her. Surely you should know that?" she got up from the chair again and started pacing back and forth the room just like Bella did earlier. "Then why don't you fight for her Edward? Why do you always wait for her to make the first move? Why does she always have to come to you?" Was that really the way everyone saw it? Was that the way Bella saw it too? "I... I don't want to push her Alice. I'm scared that she'll run if I push too hard." She stopped pacing and looked at me. "Mark is fighting Edward. He's pushing very hard right now, and she isn't running." I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. "What did you see Alice?" She gave a sad sigh and sat down on the chair again.

"You don't want to know Edward. Trust me. Just know that he isn't giving up. Not in the slightest. In fact, he's going to be fighting even harder to win her now." I looked up at her. "Is that even possible? I thought I was the dominant one?" she looked down. "I'm not sure. I phoned Carlisle. He and Esme will be here as soon as possible which will only be mid week next week. I think you need to talk to him about it. Maybe he will be able to give you more information on the whole two mates thing." I sighed. This isn't the way I wanted them to find out that Bella was alive. "Thank you Alice." She gave me a sad smile. "We're all invited to go dancing tonight. There is this really small bar nearby where Izzy and Susan like to go dancing. It's called Clumsy. Be there at around 8 okay?" I looked up at her.

"Izzy?" She let out a sigh. "Yes Izzy. That is what she is called now. She hasn't asked us to call her Bella." I shook my head in disbelieve. "You gave up? You don't think she will be Bella anymore? You don't think she'll be with me?" she shook her head sadly. "I don't know Edward. I can't see who she will end up with. I have tried. I just... I want my best friend back Edward. I don't care if she is Bella or Izzy. I just want her back." I nodded my head to show her I agreed. "Be there at 8. Wear your nice black button up and dark jeans. With black sneakers and socks." With that she walked out of my room and I was left alone once more.

~-~-~

BPOV (Bella/Izzy)

After filling ourselves with way more deer than what was totally necessary we both practically skipped to Alice's room where we knew Emmett was. "Come on in." I laughed. Alice started using her ability again after I told her I forgive her and she was over using it now to make up for every time that she didn't use it. I opened the door and was immediately attacked by Emmett in a big bear hug. "Emmy... Can't breathe..." I laughed and so did he. He put me back on the ground and smiled. "Sorry Bells. I just still can't believe that you're here, you're alive." I laughed and pulled him into the room while Mark slowly followed us in and closed the door. Alice was sitting on her bed looking through some magazines and Jasper was lying next to her reading a book. I sat on the floor by the bed and pulled Emmett down with me. Mark stood there in the middle of the room looking uncomfortable. I smiled at him and motioned for him to come and sit next to me. He smiled and sat down on my left playing with a piece of string hanging from my jacket.

"I'm sorry about last night... I just really needed to go and talk to Jake." I told the room. Emmett gave me an understanding smile. "He's the wolf right? The one that stayed with you?" I smiled. "Yeah, he's a very good friend of mine. Like my brother. He was my personal sun for a long time after you guys left." Emmett nodded and reached for his backpack. "Here, I think this belongs to you." I took the bag from him and opened it up. Inside it was all my birthday presents and photo's of the Cullens that I took before they left. I pulled each thing out and looked over them, handing them to Mark to look at as well. "Thank you Emmett. When did you go and get them?" He looked away and looked kind of reluctant to answer. "I've had them with me since the day you died. I knew where Edward hid your things and I went to go get them before someone else could." I smiled at him. It was him that was in my room then. "Thank you again."

I pulled out the car stereo and looked over it. "What happened to it?" Emmett asked with concerned eyes. "Me... It hurt too much to see it every day so I took it out." Emmett laughed. "What did you use? A screwdriver?" I laughed too. "Nope... my hands. My fingers were broken and bleeding after but I got it out in the end." I gave a small sad smile at the memory. "I'm sorry Bella. Izzy. God. I don't even know what to call you anymore. Do you prefer Izzy now?" I smiled at him. "You're the first one to ask me that." He looked shocked and then looked over at Alice and Jasper who were looking at us now. "I don't really know what I prefer. Izzy maybe for now. But I don't mind if you still call me Bells. Jake does as well." He gave me a big smile. "Bells it is then." I smiled back.

"Where is Rose? Didn't she come with you?" Emmett shook his head. "No, Eddie thought it would be better if I came alone. She is in Boston enjoying a week at the spa. She is good. But she missed you too. I know she would be happy to see you again." I couldn't help but laugh. "Really? I always thought she hated me?" He shook his head again. "No, she liked you. She just didn't like that you would be willing to give up being a human for Edward. She wants nothing more than to be human and have babies. I think that is why she loves me so much." We both laughed. "I can see her point now. I have been wishing I was human for the last few days, if only to be able to cry again. And to eat ice cream." We all laughed now. Mark took my hand sensing the sadness behind my voice and I gave him a small smile. "You know, you could always still eat ice cream." He said with a big grin and Alice laughed. "Yeah, but then she would have to bring it back up again and that's no fun at all." We all laughed at Alice again.

Two hours went by with all of us just laughing and talking about any and everything that came to mind. Mark fit in really well and I could tell he liked them all and they liked him too. I gave him a smile and he smiled back as he talked to Jasper about living in Texas a few years ago. "Do you guys want to come with dancing tonight? There is this really nice bar near here where we all often go. They have karaoke and a dance floor and the owners are really nice. And it's always nice and quiet there. Just a few humans normally and they normally leave by ten. If we leave after twelve John will let me lock up again." Alice squealed like the little girl that she was. "That sounds like so much fun! Can we invite Edward as well? I don't want to leave him behind." I smiled at her. "Of course you can Ali." She squealed again and started clapping her hands together while looking for something to wear.

Mark and I left to go and get ready. We wanted to get there by eight. I ran to my room and looked through all my clothes. Suddenly there was a knock on my door and then Susan walked in with a pile of clothes on her arm. "I thought you would like to look nice tonight." I smiled at her and went to give her a big hug. "It's good to be home again sis." She gave me a big smile. "It's good to have you home. Now, what would you like to wear? And sneakers are a given." I grinned at her and we continued to get ready.

I ended up wearing a nice green top that tied with a string around my neck and went down way too far in the front but at least it had a built in bra that covered me up. I wore my dark skinny jeans and my green dancing sneakers. I also asked Susan to change the parts of my hair that were pink to green and even I had to admit. I looked good. The green really fit nicely.

"Are you guys ready yet?" Jack asked from the doorway. He and Mark have been waiting for us. Mark was wearing a dark green button up shirt that Susan got for him and Jack was wearing a dark blue one. Strangely enough it looked like we all matched. "Susan we match!" I scolded and she just laughed. Mark turned around to look at me. "Izzy... you look beautiful." We smiled at each other. "Do you want me to change my shirt so we don't match?" He asked as I looked between all of us. "No, I like it. You look really nice in your green shirt Mark." He gave me a bright smile. I grabbed my black jacket and we made our way to the bar.

Ten minutes later we were standing in front of the small building that I love so much. "Do you want to wait outside for the others or do you want to go inside?" Jack asked us and Susan and I smiled. "Go in!" We both yelled and ran in like little school girls. I could hear Mark laugh as he and Jack came into the building too. "Izzy!" John exclaimed when he saw me come in. We shared a quick embrace. "Hi there John. How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while. How are your wife and the kids?" He laughed. "Slow down my girl, you're gonna give this old man a big head ache with all those fast questions." We all laughed as he shook Marks' hand and then Jack's before hugging Susan. "To answer your questions. I am very well thank you. And the wife and kids are fine too. Paul had a baby girl two weeks ago and Drew and his wife are expecting their second now. Now, more importantly, how are you Izzy? And how are things going with Faceless Angel? I really hope you guys will sing us something again tonight." I couldn't help my smile. I love John, he's like a father to me. "I'm doing alright John. Been having a very rough week though. Things with the band are good, we had two shows at school and they went good. I'm sure we will be singing and dancing the whole night long." He laughed and handed me a set of keys. "You know where to put it when you guys leave." I smiled at him and gave him another hug. "Four glasses of water for you at your normal table?" I nodded. "Oh, Izzy, there are four other people here, they said they are friends of yours. They are at the table next to you." I smiled when I looked over to the table he was talking about and saw Alice and the rest. "Thank you John, yes, they are my friends. Would you play us some dancing songs later?" He smiled as he walked behind the bar. "I'm sure Ron is already selecting the music as we speak." We both smiled and I went to go and join everyone at the tables.

~-~-~

AN: That's it for this chapter. So how mad are you guys at me? *Hides behind the corner.* Please don't throw things at me. *Gives puppy dog eyes that she learned from Jake.*

I hope you all understand why Bella left Edward in the last chapter now. You guys were all pretty mad at her. Btw, she isn't with Mark or Edward at the moment. So technically she isn't breaking up with any of them the whole time. She only broke up with Mark a few chapters ago already. And don't be mad at her for the thing with Mark in this chapter, Mark started it. He's a big boy and knows what he's letting himself in for. At the moment I think Bella is the only one that really gets hurt a lot. And Edward too. Mark is too full of hope for her to change her mind to really feel rejected.

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews on the last chapter. I hope you all will let me know what you think of this one as well. Who do you like more? Edward or Mark? If you were Bella, who would you choose? I already know who she ends up with but I'd love to hear your opinion on it so leave me a review.

So that's it for now. Hope to hear from you all very soon. :D


	13. Chapter Twelve: Trust is Earned

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics. Sorry for any mistakes, I still don't have a BETA, if you are interested; please let me know in a review. Enjoy the chapter :D.

Chapter Twelve: Trust is Earned

~-~-~

"Trust is like a vase... once it's broken; though you can fix it the vase will never be the same again."

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."

Unknown

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

So here I am in front of the little bar that Bella likes. Wearing my dark jeans, black shirt and black sneakers. How are clothes going to help me win Bella back? How am I supposed to fight for her if she keeps running when I get close? This is all so frustrating! Why can't Alice see who she ends up with? Does that mean that she hasn't made up her mind yet? Is she really considering Mark? Does she love him more than me? Argh! Why can't this just be simple?!

"Edward! Are you going to come in or just stand out there the whole night? Izzy and the rest should be here any moment." I rolled my eyes at Alice and followed her inside the little bar. It had a nice homely feel to it. There was a good sized dance floor and a little stage with a karaoke machine. Behind the bar was a gentleman that I would guess was in his mid 50's and a younger guy probably mid 20's. "Hi there, how can I help you tonight?" The gentleman asked us as we walked in. _'Wow, they all are very attractive. They must be friends of Izzy's. Maybe the family she lost contact with so long ago. She really deserves to be happy.' _"Hello. I'm Edward Cullen and this is my family. We're friends of Izzy's. She's meeting us here in a few minutes." _'Ah I was right. I can't believe Izzy is coming. It's been way too long. _"Well it's nice to meet you Edward. There is a table over there, the one next to the corner one." He pointed towards the table. "You can sit there and wait for Izzy." I gave him a polite smile. "Thank you." He smiled back. "Can I get you anything too drink?" I looked towards the rest of my family. "Four glasses of water should do just fine. We don't drink." _He really is friends with Izzy. _He gave me a big smile and I went to join my family.

"He seems like a very nice man." Alice said as soon as I sat down. "I really think he is. He seems to care about Bella a lot. It's almost like he sees her as a daughter." Alice smiled and I smiled back. "Here are your drinks guys. Just let us know if you want some more. By the way I'm Ron. John is the guy you talked to earlier, he's the owner of the bar." Alice gave him a bright smile. "I'm Alice, this is my boyfriend Jasper, my brother Emmett and my other brother Edward." He shook all our hands not flinching once at our cold skin. "It's really nice to meet all of you. How do you know Izzy and the gang? If you don't mind me asking." Alice smiled a sad smile. "We go way back with Izzy. She and Edward used to date. She's my best friend." Ron scowled. "Wow, so you're the one that broke up with her. Jack told me about her past. I don't know how you could do it man. If I had Izzy, I'd never let her go. Mark is one lucky guy." I nodded my head. "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking..." I sighed. Ron gave me an understanding smile. "Well I better get going. Izzy will want some dancing music when she comes in." He gave us all another big smile before turning around to go back to the bar.

"Seems like she is very popular here." Jasper said looking at me. I nodded. "Yeah she is. Everyone here loves having her around. I haven't heard one bad thought about her yet." Alice gave me a big smile. "Get ready, they are outside." I turned around in my seat and looked over at the door. I heard two musical squeals of delight and two male laughs as Bella and Susan burst into the building looking very excited. Bella looked beautiful. Her hair was different, it had green in it now and she was wearing a revealing green top with green sneakers. Susan was wearing a similar top and sneakers, only in dark blue. Behind them Mark and Jack entered. Mark had a green shirt that matched Bella's and Jack had one that matched Susan's. I couldn't help but feel jealous that she would wear something so similar to him. John made his way over to Bella with a big smile on his face.

"Izzy!" he exclaimed and they shared an embrace. "Hi there John. How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while. How are your wife and the kids?" She bombarded the poor man with super fast questions, clearly excited to see him. He laughed at her. "Slow down my girl, you're gonna give this old man a big head ache with all those fast questions." They all laughed and it reached her eyes. She looked so beautiful when she laughs. He shook Mark's hand and then Jacks and hugged Susan without flinching. "To answer your questions. I am very well thank you. And the wife and kids are fine too. Paul had a baby girl two weeks ago and Drew and his wife are expecting their second now. Now, more importantly, how are you Izzy? And how are things going with Faceless Angel? I really hope you guys will sing us something again tonight." She gave him a big smile. "I'm doing alright John. Been having a very rough week though. Things with the band are good, we had two shows at school and they went good. I'm sure we will be singing and dancing the whole night long." She said as Susan and the rest made their way over to their table greeting us. I nodded my greeting to all of them.

John handed Bella something and she gave him an even bigger smile. "You know where to put it when you guys leave." He said and she gave him a big hug. "Four glasses of water for you at your normal table?" She nodded at him. "Oh, Izzy, there are four other people here; they said they are friends of yours. They are at the table next to you." She gave him a smile and looked over at our table. "Thank you John, yes, they are my friends. Would you play us some dancing songs later?" He smiled at her and looked over at Ron as he made his way behind the bar. "I'm sure Ron is already selecting the music as we speak." They shared another smile and she made her way over to her table. Sitting next to Mark... She hung a black jacket over her chair.

"Hi guys." She greeted not making eye contact with me. We all said our greetings. "How do you know John?" I asked. I hate not being able to read her mind. She looked at me for the first time. "Oh, well he owns the bar and we come here a lot. We did our very first live show here." Mark laughed. "Well we sang karaoke here." She corrected with a laugh. "And he was the one that told us to start the band. He has a lot of my original songs here on the karaoke machine and always tells me how popular they are. He's like a dad to me. Always looking out for me and the rest of us." I nodded. "What did he hand you earlier?" Alice scowled. "Edward! It's rude to ask things like that." Alice scolded. "I'm sorry." I said as I looked towards Bella. "It's alright, don't worry about it. I'm used to your questions by now." She said with a strange smile. "He gave me the keys to the building to lock up after we leave. He normally closes the door at around ten and leaves by eleven. And we normally don't leave until sunrise." She smiled at a memory and I wished I could see what she saw in her mind.

"And he trusts you to lock up?" I asked as I looked at her. "Of course I do. Trust is earned, not given, young man. Izzy is like a daughter to me. I know she would never do anything to harm me or my business. And when the day comes that I am no longer here, she will own part of the bar as well." John said as he placed four glasses of cold water on their table and then put a hand on her shoulder. She gave him a sad smile. "Don't talk like that John. You know you aren't allowed to leave me here alone." She said softly to her father figure as she bit her bottom lip. He gave her a sad smile back and squeezed her shoulder once. "Hey! What am I? chopped liver?" Mark suddenly said and everyone laughed. John laughed too and made his way back to the rest of his customers. "Thank you, Mark." Bella said as she turned away from looking at John walk away. "It's my pleasure Izzy. I know you hate it when he talks like that." She nodded and pretended to drink some of her water.

"You really like him don't you?" I asked her and she nodded. "I don't have Charlie anymore and John has really been like a father to me." I nodded and turned to look at the man behind the bar. I owe him more than he knows for taking care of Bella. "What do you think Ron will choose as the first song tonight Izzy?" Susan asked and Bella grinned at her. "I don't know but I bet it will be good." Her eyes sparkled as she spoke and I could tell she was looking forward to it. "Knowing Ron, he'll probably play some cheesy group dance song." Mark laughed as Bella slapped his arm. "I like those cheesy group dance songs." She scolded. Everyone talked in the same line for the next half an hour, leaving me to my thoughts.

'Trust is earned, not given' John's words went through my head over and over. How can I earn her trust back? How can I show her that I really do love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her?

"Earth to Edward!" Jasper yelled and I came out of my thoughts and gave him a small smile. "Where did you go? We've been talking to you." I looked around and saw all of them were staring at me. "Sorry. I guess I just got lost in my thoughts. What did you say?" Alice rolled her eyes. "I asked if you like to dance?" Susan asked. I thought about it a moment. "Well, yes I do, but I don't think I dance the same as you." She smiled at me. "Everyone can dance like us Edward. I'm older than you and I can do it." I was shocked. "You are? I assumed you were only about twenty or so?" She laughed a tinkling laugh. "I am over an hundred and fifty. I just don't like bragging about it." She said with a grin. I nodded. "I never would have guessed." She gave me another smile. "I'll take that as a compliment then." I smiled at her to let her know it was one.

"What time is it?" Bella suddenly asked as she looked around the now almost empty bar. Mark grinned. "It's nine. And we all know what that means." He said. Alice looked confused for a moment. "It means Ron is going to start playing music for us." He explained and Alice started bouncing up and down in her seat. To my amazement I saw Bella and Susan doing the same thing. A drum beat started playing and Bella and Susan squealed like two little girls. Mark frowned. "Oh no... He didn't..." Bella laughed and shot up out her chair. "Oh yes he did!" She exclaimed as she and Susan made their way to the dance floor opposite our table. She looked at Mark and pouted. "No..." He whined and she bit her bottom lip. He let out a long sigh. "Izzy..." he whined again. "Please..." She begged and he got up and stood next to her. I saw Jack smile and join them next to Susan. Bella gestured to Ron to join them and he was there as soon as she asked. They all started laughing while doing the dance as the song went on...

"_This time we're gonna get funky  
Everybody clap your hands  
Clap clap clap clap your hands  
Clap clap clap clap your hands"_

Alice giggled. _"She is going to ask us to dance with them. Don't worry. I will think of the moves before we need to do them so you won't get caught off guard." _I nodded my thanks to her and just like she said Bella gestured to us to go and join them. Emmett was the first one up and started dancing immediately. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"_Turn it out  
To the left  
Take it back now y'all  
Five hops this time  
Right foot lets stomp  
Left foot lets stomp  
Right foot again  
Left foot again  
Right foot lets stomp  
Left foot lets stomp  
FREEEZE"_

We were all laughing and dancing and singing with the song. Most of the people that were in the bar joined us by now. Even John was dancing. I don't think I have ever seen Bella this happy before. The song came to an end and everyone slowly made their way back to their seats still laughing.

"That was so much fun!" Alice almost yelled as Bella and the rest sat down too. "Do you always do things like this?" Bella and Mark shared a look and they both shrugged. "Pretty much. Izzy likes doing these types of dances and Ron loves letting her do them. He's got a little crush on her." Her eyes got big and she slapped his arm. "Does not! Stop telling people that!" He laughed at her and we all joined in. "Oh come on Izzy. He always plays your favourite songs. He brings you the coldest water. All the signs are there." She rolled her eyes at him and we all laughed again. "Well maybe he does, but at least I don't encourage it." She accused looking pointedly at Susan. She smiled. "Guilty as charged." We all laughed again and Lady GaGa's Just Dance started playing. "Dance with me?" Bella asked Susan and they both left to the dance floor.

"She really likes dancing huh?" Alice asked and Mark nodded. "Yeah, it helps her cope in a way. She used to be too clumsy, but now she's really good at it. She can just let go and have fun for the night." He looked over his shoulder at Bella. "That's my queue, I better go." He said with a smile and joined Bella on the dance floor. When the song was finished they all came back to the table. We pushed the two tables together to make one big one. Bella pretended to take a big drink from her glass and John brought her another one.

_Beep Beep. _We all checked our phones and Bella scowled at Mark. "You know you have to put that off when we go dancing." He gave her a big smile. "Well I'm sure you won't mind it this time." She raised an eyebrow at him. "I have a surprise for you." She smiled a questioning smile at him. "Wait right here. I'll be right back with _it._" She laughed. "_It?_" he laughed at her and went out the door. "Do you know what his surprise is?" She asked Susan and she just shrugged. "I didn't know he had one. What is that _smell_?" she asked with a sly smile. Bella got an excited look on her face and started turning in circles looking for the surprise. She turned to look at Susan again and frowned. "I don't see anything. Or smell anything." Susan laughed and suddenly Bella was picked up from behind by a very tall and tanned man. Jacob Black.

~-~-~

BPOV (Bella/Izzy)

"Jake!" I couldn't believe it. Jake was here. He was my surprise. I just saw him this morning but I already missed him. "Hey Bells." He put me down and I threw myself into his arms. "I missed you!" He laughed at me. "You saw me this morning." I pouted. "I know." He laughed even louder and so did the rest. "Bells?" I looked up at him. "Yeah?" He wrinkled his nose. "I know I ask this a lot. But when last did you shower?! You stink!" I huffed and slapped him hard on the arm. "Ouch!" I scowled. "You deserve more than that." He laughed. "Yeah I do." I smiled up at him now. "What are you doing here little doggie?" This time it was his turn to scowl at me. "I'll let you know, I'm not a _little _doggie. And Mark invited me. We have some things to talk about." I looked between the two and just shook my head. "What about Nessie?" He smiled and tilted his head towards the bar. "She's getting us some water." I smiled. "You brought her! Oh Jake. I'm so glad." His smile faded when he looked towards the table.

"Are those the other blood suckers? The one's who left you to die?" He nodded towards the table with his head. "Jake!" I scolded. "What? It's the truth!" He yelled back and I frowned. "Those are the Cullens, Edward, Alice, Jasper and Emmett." Mark introduced them one by one. "Emmett? You're the one that stayed right?" Jake asked Emmett. He nodded. "Yeah, I tried." Jake gave him a smile and reached a hand out to him to shake. "Thank you. You really helped us a lot. If it wasn't for you hanging around, I would have lost Bella a lot sooner and..." he shuttered. "You see, I only turned a month or so before it happened. And if Victoria came any sooner. Well I don't know what would have happened to Bells here." He snaked his large arm around my shoulders. "So thank you. Truly." Emmett nodded and Jake smiled. I started wiggling beneath him.

"What's up squirt? Can't take the heat?" He asked and I laughed. "The heat I can take. The stink I cannot! You smell like a wet pooch!" We all laughed and he let me go as Nessie came with two glasses of water. "Everyone. This is my Nessie." Jake introduced her and gave her a little hug. Love radiated from them both. "Hello..." She said shyly and everyone greeted her. "Nessie. It's so good to see you again. Thank you again for letting me steal my big brother here this morning." I said as I hugged her. "Don't worry about it Izzy. I know you would do the same for me if I needed it." I nodded. "I would." We all sat at the table and talked some more. After a few minutes Mark led me to the dance floor and we danced to about five songs when one of my favourites started playing. First Susan and I danced together and made all the guys stare at us, drooling no doubt. Then Mark grabbed me by my arm and spun me against his body as Jack did the same thing to Susan. We slowly moved our body's together, grinding slowly to the music as Mark softly sang with the song and I giggled at him.

"_She moves her body like a cyclone  
And she makes me want to do it all night long  
Going hard when they turn the spotlights on  
Because she moves her body like a cyclone  
Just like a cyclone_

__

She moves her body like a cyclone  
And she makes me want to do it all night long  
Going hard when they turn the spotlights on  
Because she moves her body like a cyclone  
A mighty cyclone"

When the song finished he spun me away from him and I giggled loudly again. He always made me feel drunk and giddy when we danced but this time there was something more to it. Something stronger that I couldn't place. We made our way back to the table and Jake was looking at me all protectively. I couldn't help but laugh. "Jake, it's called dancing. There was nothing more than that going on." Mark started laughing loudly when he realised what Jake was thinking. "Man, you know I wouldn't do that to her in the middle of a dance floor. She deserves a lot better than that!" Nessie laughed too when she caught up to the conversation. "I can't help it. Seeing you dancing like that. Well it's something I would rather not see Bells doing with anyone." I laughed again. "Come on Jake, you know me better than that. And you know Mark better than that too." Jake blushed. "Sorry Bells. I know." Alice looked back and forth between all of us. "You mean you two haven't?" I shook my head and looked towards Mark and smiled. "No..." She shook her head. "Why not? I mean I just assumed that well..." We both laughed at her. "I have more respect than that for her Alice. I would never do that unless she was 100% ready for it. Not until I have all of her heart... trust me though, it's not like I haven't thought about it." He said with a smirk and I hid my face in his shoulder, remembering this afternoon.

Edward let out a soft growl and we all looked towards him. "Sorry... I just, don't want to hear about this." He looked away from us. "Not like you don't deserve to hear much worse." Jake snapped and I hit him on the back of the head to make him quiet down. "No Bells. He needs to know what he did. I can't just stand here and pretend like nothing ever happened. I'm not as good a person as you Bells." I sighed. "I know I hurt her Jacob, but you must know that I was hurting too. I only left to protect her from myself." Jake snorted. "A lot of good that did. Look I would like nothing more than to fight this out with you, but I know that it's upsetting Bells. So let's just stay out of each other's way." Edward nodded and I let out a sigh. I hate that the people I care for are fighting.

"Izzy? Do you think you can sing us something? Before we close now?" John asked softly and I turned around to look at the gentle man. "Of course John. Anything in particular?" He shook his head. "Anything you sing will be perfect my girl." We smiled at each other and Mark led me to the stage to look for a song. "I think I know which one." I said and pointed to the song. "Mark smiled. Your and Susan's song." I nodded. "Yeah, the one I wrote about our pasts." He smiled. "It's a beautiful song, and one of John's favourites." We smiled at each other and he gave me the mic as he went to go and sit down and John introduced me. I started the song on the machine and got ready to sing.

"_I will not make the same mistakes that you did  
I will not let myself  
Cause my heart so much misery  
I will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far_

_Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

_I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out  
I cannot cry  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes  
I'm forced to fake  
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with_

_Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

_I watched you die  
I heard you cry every night in your sleep  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me  
You never thought of anyone else  
You just saw your pain  
And now I cry in the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing_

_Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I try my hardest just to forget everything  
Because of you  
I don't know how to let anyone else in  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

_Because of you  
Because of you"_

Everyone cheered and I could see John had tears in his eyes. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I walked back to my table and was attacked from the side by Susan in a very tight hug. "Oh Izzy, thank you for singing that song!" I smiled and hugged her back. "My pleasure sis." Alice called for my attention and I looked towards her. "What is the song about? I heard you say that it is a combination of your and Susan's past?" I looked at Susan and she nodded. "Susan was turned when she was 17. When she was 15 her father left her and her mother and her mother died a few weeks later of a broken heart. Susan had to take care of her and her mother and her mother was really hard on her. Blaming her for her father leaving and more. And the rest is kinda obvious. Edward left and I stopped trusting people and got scared to let people in because I was scared that they would leave." Mark smiled and squeezed my hand. "Luckily we won't leave." I smiled back at him. "Oh Susan, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that." Alice said as she hugged her. "That's alright Alice, it was a long time ago now."

Softer music started playing as people got ready to leave. "Would you mind dancing with me?" I turned around and saw Edward holding a hand out to me. I gave him a small smile. "I'm not very good at slow dancing." I admitted and he smiled at me. "Trust me; it's all in the leading." I eyed him sceptically but took his hand and let him lead me to the dance floor. "Put your one hand on my shoulder and then I'll hold your other like this. And then we move like this. One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four." He directed me across the dance floor and we danced in perfect harmony. I couldn't help but giggle. "You were right. I guess it is all in the leading." He smiled his crooked grin at me. "See, all you needed to do was trust me, Izzy..." I looked up at him, puzzled. "You called me Izzy?" He nodded his head. "That is what you prefer is it not?" I nodded. "Thank you Edward. For taking another step." We smiled at each other. "Anything for you, Izzy. Anything..." I rested my head against his shoulder and smiled. He smelled like cinnamon and spice and Edward. It smelled almost like home but there was something missing. I just didn't know what.

After our dance he led me back to our table and John came over to say good night and to remind me to lock up when we leave. We all chatted some more for an hour and then I went to go and sit in the middle of the stage. It made me feel at home. A minute later Mark came to sit next to me and Susan and the rest joined us. We were all like one big happy family in that moment. I started laughing out loud. Mark nudged my arm. "What's so funny?" I grinned at him and sang in a sing song voice.

"_We are family  
__I got all my brothers and sisters with me  
__We are family"_

Everyone started laughing too. "We even have a puppy!" Mark laughed and everyone started laughing even louder. I looked at Mark and smiled. "Sing me something. But for fun. No perfection required. Just you and me having fun, like it used to be." He smiled back at me knowing exactly what I was talking about. "Well where will I get my inspiration from?" I gave him a little kick and quoted him. "What am I? Chopped liver?" Susan burst out laughing and I couldn't keep it in any longer either. I laughed out loud and he just shook his head at me like I'm crazy. He bent over and picked up the old guitar in the corner and played a few strings.

"_Mmmm... Mmmm..."_ I pulled a face and he giggled.

"_Mmmm... Mmmm..."_ I did it again and he let out a little laugh.

_"I'll be your man  
And I'll understand  
And I'll do my best  
To take good care of you_

_You'll be my queen  
I'll be your king  
And I'll be your lover too  
Yeah yeah_

_Yes I will mmmm_

_Derry down green  
Colour of my dream  
A dream that's daily coming true.  
And ohhh when the day is through  
I will come to you and tell you of"_ He let out a little giggle at the face I was pulling.

_"Your many charms_

_And girl you look at me  
With eyes that see  
And we'll melt into each other's eyes_

_Mmmm You'll be my queen  
And I'll be your king  
And I'll be your lover too"_

He dragged the last word out and started laughing at my face as I pulled another funny face at him. "Izzy..." he whined and I just shrugged. "Hey, it was perfect to me. Just like when we met. Remember?" he laughed. "How can I forget? You used to pull funny faces at me every time I started singing anything. I don't know how I manage to keep a straight face when we're on stage." Susan and the rest laughed. "Oh I think we all know." Susan said and I raised an eyebrow at her. "You see, Izzy sometimes gets stage fright and if Mark started laughing at her she would go into a blind panic." Mark laughed and I hid my face in his shoulder. "Is that true..?" I asked in a small voice and he laughed even louder. "I'm sorry Izzy. But yes it is true. You would panic like crazy if I started laughing at you." Jake and the rest laughed while I frowned. "I'm sorry I keep you from having fun." I said sadly while looking at him and biting my bottom lip. He reached his hand out and rubbed my cheek and then rubbed over my lip so I would release it. "What did I say about crying? And you don't keep me from having fun at all. In fact, without you here, I wouldn't be having any fun at all." I smiled at him and let him hug me. "I wasn't crying." I said later with a pout and Jake laughed. "Yes you were Bells. Even I know you bite your lips when you want to cry." I rolled my eyes at him and they all laughed again.

Out the corner of my eye I could see Edward sitting deep in thought. Looking far away as always. "What are you thinking about?" I asked him and he seemed to snap back to reality. "I was just thinking of how much I have missed in the last two years." I gave him a little smile. "You haven't really missed that much." He just nodded and looked away. I let out a frustrated sigh and got up. Mark looked up and asked me a silent question with his eyes. "I'm _fine,_ I just need some air. I'll be back in a few minutes." He moved to get up and I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise you." He nodded and gave my hand a little kiss before I turned around and walked out the door into the cold fresh night air. I heard him tell someone to let me be alone for now and that I would be right back. I smiled to myself and started singing a song I've been working on.

"_God, I feel like hell tonight  
__Tears of rage I cannot fight  
__I'd be the last to help you understand  
__Are you strong enough to be my man?_

_My man..._

_Nothing's true and nothing's right  
__So let me be alone tonight  
__Cause you can't change the way I am  
__Are you strong enough to be my man?_

_Lie to me  
__I promise I'll believe  
__Lie to me  
__But please don't leave, leave, don't leave_

_I have a face I cannot show  
__I make the rules up as I go  
__So try and love me if you can  
__Are you strong enough to be my man?_

_My man......_

_Are you strong enough? (to be my man....)  
__Are you strong enough? (to be my man....)  
__Are you strong enough? (my.....man)_

_When I've shown you that I just don't care  
__When I'm throwing punches in the air  
__When I'm broken down and I can't stand  
__Would you be man enough to be my man?_

_Lie to me  
__I promise, I'll believe  
__Lie to me  
__But please don't leave"_

"It's beautiful Izzy. Who is it about?" I turned around and saw Mark standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry, I heard you singing and I couldn't help but come outside to hear more." I gave him a smile. "It's a song for my man." I said as I walked towards him. "And who is your man..?" He asked softly, tenderly. I smiled and he stroked my cheek. "The person that is strong enough to fight for me." I replied as I leaned into his electric touch. He leaned down closer to my face and I could feel his sweet breath on my face. "Am I strong enough to fight for you..?" I blinked a few times feeling drunk and dazed again. "I... don't know... I guess that is up to you..." he gave me a brilliant smile. "Oh I think I might be strong enough to fight for you my Izzy..."

He leaned down more and touched his lips to mine. "That is... if you want me to fight for you?" my mind was hazy and I couldn't think straight. The electricity flowed from his lips to mine and back as he spoke and all I could do was nod my head. He didn't hesitate anymore and started moving his lips in a passionate kiss as my lips moved perfectly with his. He snaked his one arm around my waist and pulled me to him as the other started stroking and brushing through my hair. I felt my hands go into his hair and pull him closer to me. "Izzy... say stop..." Mark said as he kissed me more deeply while lifting me up against him again like this afternoon. Did I want him to stop? His fingers traced under my shirt and the skin on skin contact felt like fire. I moaned into his mouth and felt him moan too as he deepened the kiss even more. I parted my lips to give him better access and our tongues met each other half way. Neither trying to be the dominant one but rather dancing in unison. I lifted my dangling legs around his waist and pulled him closer to me. I felt him moan into my mouth again.

"Izzy..." he said against my lips. "Say stop... before I lose all control..." he moved his hands down to my hips again and massaged them roughly, passionately. He pressed my back against the wall and started kissing down my neck and exposed collar bone to my shoulder and back up to my ear. "Izzy..." He half whined, half moaned my name into my ear and I shivered from the feeling. "Izzy... I'm losing control... say stop now..." he moaned into my ear as he moved his hands totally under my shirt. His hands felt like flames against my skin as the current flowed between us. I moaned again from the feeling and tried to think straight. "Stop..." I whispered. "Stop... my sweet Mark. Stop..." I said again a big louder. He pulled his lips from my skin and let out a tiny laugh. "You'll be the death of me one day Izzy..." I giggled as we both continued to breathe hard and look at each other. His eyes were pitch black again even though we hunted only a few hours ago. I reached up and caressed over his eyelids and his checks as he smiled at me. I loosened my legs from around him but he still held me against him in the air. He leaned his head down to mine and rested his forehead against mine. "I love you Izzy... you don't have to say anything right now. You already spoke volumes. Just know that I will fight for you. I'll be your personal soldier and fighting for you will be my only mission in life." My breathing hitched as he spoke. I stroked his cheek and leaned in to give him another kiss. I didn't have to say anything else and neither did he for now. We both knew he would fight. The only thing left to see now would be if he had an opponent.

He dropped my legs to the floor and made sure I was stable before letting go of my waist. "We should go back inside." He leaned down and kissed my forehead as I nodded. I was still speechless. His kisses left me speechless, breathless and dizzy. He took my hand in his and led me back inside the bar that I love and right up to the stage where everyone was still sitting. Jake looked at me and gave me a knowing smile. "Did you get some fresh _air_ Bells?" He asked as he looked between me and Mark. I blinked trying to make sense of what he said. Then I remembered my own words. Edward is air and Mark is laughing gas. Mark numbs and makes happy and Edward makes it like nothing was wrong in the first place. Was that still true? Mark took my breath away today but left me alive and kicking. Edward suffocated me. Could he really still be my air? "Bells? Are you alright?" I blinked again and looked at Jake. He looked worried.

"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry. I guess I just spaced out for a moment." Mark laughed softly and squeezed my hand as he lowered us to sit on the floor by the rest of them. "What did you ask?" Jake laughed now as well and repeated his question. "I asked if you got some fresh _air_?" I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed at me. "It was refreshing thank you very much." I said matter of factly and he practically rolled on the floor laughing at me. "What time is it?" I asked as I looked out the window again. "Almost time to go home..." Mark said and I could hear the sadness in his voice. He loved this place just as much as I do. "Back to school... how fun..." I said as I leaned against Alice who was sitting next to me. "You know... we don't have to stay at this school if you don't want to. We don't have to go at all." Susan said as she played with her armband. I looked around at everyone. I knew my family wouldn't mind leaving if that is what I wanted. Alice and Edward however looked worried.

"No, I want to stay. I didn't finish school as a human and I want to at least finish it once properly. The weekend just wasn't long enough that's all." She smiled and nodded. "It never is." I turned to look at Emmett who was having a discussion with Jasper. After a few seconds he turned to look at me and I smiled. "Will you and Rose be joining us at school?" He looked deep in thought for a moment before answering. "If that is what she wants, then yes. But we will be moving here none the less. I still feel like if I leave here you will disappear. Like this is some kind of a dream. My family is more whole now than it has been in a very long time and I don't want to lose that. I don't care if you and Eddie get together or not. As long as you are alive and you stay my friend." I looked over at him and felt so grateful towards him. I shot up and gave him a big hug. "Thank you Emmett. Thank you so much..." he laughed as he hugged me back. "Don't tell me I was the first one to tell you that as well?" I nodded my head. "Just you out of your family. Susan and them made it clear that they don't care either way, as long as I stay in their family." Emmett huffed as he looked at his family.

"Seriously? I mean really guys. It's her choice who she wants to be with. If she even wants to be with any of them. And Mark is a really nice guy." Alice looked guilty and so did Jasper. Edward just looked away. "I'm sorry Bells. I'm sorry my _family_ can be such idiots. And they say I'm the dumb one!" Emmett just shook his head. "It's okay Emmy. I always knew you were the smart one." I said with a smile and they all laughed as the tension went out of the room. I went to go and sit next to Mark and rested my head on his shoulder looking at a sleeping Nessie. I closed my eyes. "I wish I could sleep..." he leaned his head onto mine and let a breath out. "I wish so too. If I could I would go back in time and stop Victoria myself. I wish I could have been the one to change you. To have it be your choice, not your punishment..." he softly said back and I bit my bottom lip. We've talked about this a lot. I miss being a human. Being able to do human things, eat, sleep, cry... and I miss my mom and dad who think I'm dead... he put his arm tightly around me and brought me closer to him. "Shhh... I'm sorry Izzy..." I could feel everyone staring at me. Probably wondering what happened. "It's not your fault Mark. You didn't even know me back then." He put his over arm around me as well and held me closer to him. "I wish I did..." Jake laughed and everyone looked at him.

"If you knew her back then, you probably would have wanted to kill her yourself. She did always smell better than every other human around. Or so I hear." He said with a smile. "Yes, you're right. I remember her scent well. She smelled way better than most of the humans in Forks." Alice said with a smile. "And all the hugging never made it any easier on us vampires." She said with a laugh. Mark smiled. "I'm sure I could have handled her." Edward let out a harsh laugh. "I highly doubt that. Being near her was a constant battle. One even I struggled with and almost lost a few times. You would never have been able to handle her." We all looked at him and Mark rolled his eyes. "I have a lot more self control than you seem to think I do. And I can honestly say that I have never tasted human blood." Alice's jaw dropped. "But how did you discover you could live off of animals? Did Susan and Jack find you?" I laughed. "Mark found Susan about ten years ago. And Jack found her about 12 years ago." Alice looked confused between all of them. "How old are you Mark?" I smiled up at him waiting for his story. I loved his story. It was so sad, yet so beautiful.

"I will be 108 this year. And my closest family member died 20 years ago when she was 76. She was a human. My baby sister..." he held me a little closer as he spoke of her. "Did she know what you were?" Alice asked as everyone looked at him with interest. "Yes she did. After all, I raised her." Alice gasped and Jasper spoke up. "What happened?" Mark looked far away as he spoke. "It was 1917 and my father was drafted into the war. Six months later my mother left for the war as well. She was a nurse and she thought that she could be of better use there. She left me and my sister behind. I was 17 then and at the age of 19 I would have been drafted into the war as well. My sister was 5 at the time. We were 12 years apart. She was the late baby of love between my parents and I loved her more than life itself. When I turned 18 the money my mother left for us was getting dangerously low and I decided to get a part time job while my sister was in kinder garden and after she went to bed. I had to work two jobs. One in the mornings and one in the night. I got a letter two weeks later announcing the death of my father. He died on the battle field, serving his country. And a week after that, we received the letter of my mother's death. The camp where she was stationed got attacked. After that it was just me and my clumsy baby sister. She always managed to trip or cut herself doing something stupid." He had a sad smile on his face as he remembered her.

"I was walking home from work one night when I was attacked. All I remember is a blinding pain that burned like fire. And waking up three days later in a forest near my house. I felt a slight burn in my throat as a deer walked by and the next thing I knew I had drained its blood. I was terrified of what I did, what I became. But I had to take care of my sister. I was the only family she had. I left the forest and got home super quick. My sister was sitting on the porch steps and it looked like she had been crying. When I got to her, she threw her tiny little arms around me and I could feel the burn in my throat but it didn't bother me. My love for her stopped me. As she grew up, I had a lot of practise with handling and being around blood. She almost always had a scraped knee no matter how much I tried to protect her. After a while she realised I wasn't aging and got curious. I told her about what happened to me when she was 16 and at first she wanted to be like me. I told her no. That she had to first make sure that it is really what she wanted. Two years later she met a man and got married. She never asked me to change her again. She was happy growing old with her husband and having her kids. I still looked after her and the day she died in the hospital I was there holding her hand. She told me that she is finally going to be with our mom and dad again and that they would be so proud of the way I looked after her. I dry sobbed until the nurse came to fetch her body to get cleaned up."

"I ended up looking after my niece and nephew for a while but they really didn't need me. And neither did their kids. So I was alone. Wandering around, looking for a place where I could belong. It took me ten years to find Susan and Jack but when I did, I felt at home. And then a year ago, this little bundle of fluff ran into me." He said as he ruffled my hair. "And I really was at home." He hugged me close to him and I couldn't help but smile. He can be around people bleeding just like Carlisle can and I knew that he wouldn't have hurt me even if I was human.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know." Edward admitted softly. "I know you didn't. Izzy blocks my mind from you but I have nothing to hide. I am not ashamed of what I am or of who I am. I know I have a soul and so do the rest of us." Edward raised an eyebrow at him. "How can you be so sure?" Mark smiled. "Izzy is too loving and selfless not to have one. Susan is too caring and sisterly not too. Jack is too good a person not too. And of what I hear and what I have seen, your family still have their souls as well. If you have no soul, you cannot learn to love. The love in this room is too big to be ignored. Thus you all have souls." I smiled. "You have the biggest soul of us all." He laughed. "No, my soul is the same size as yours." Edward frowned. "So you truly believe we have a chance for the afterlife?" Mark looked at him and smiled. "When my time comes and I leave this earth. I will be meeting up with my sister. I have no doubt about it in my mind or my heart." Edward grew silent for a long time and so did the rest of us.

"The sun will be coming up soon... we should probably leave... I need to lock up." I said softly and Mark got up while pulling me up with him. "I'll stay and help you clean up." I gave him a small smile. "Thanks. So, who is gonna wake the doggy and his girl friend?" I asked as I looked around. Nessie was sleeping on the couch in the other corner and Jake was curled up in a ball by her feet on a rug. Everyone laughed as they looked over at them. "I will. I need to make time to talk to him later any way." I nodded and started gathering up all the glasses. Edward started doing the same thing. "You don't need to help; it'll only take a few minutes to get this place spotless." He shrugged. "I want to help." I waved good bye to the rest of them as they all left and laughed at the expression on Jakes face when Mark woke him up. "I'm sorry about being such a jerk lately Izzy." Edward softly said behind me and I turned around. "Lately?" I asked. He let out a sigh. "Well the last two years." I gave him a small smile and took a deep breath. "It's okay. Don't worry about it." He stepped in front of me as I tried to leave. "Do you think we can sit together for lunch today? I'd really like to talk to you." I looked around and saw Jake and Mark deep in conversation. I looked back at Edward and he looked so hopeful. I sighed. "I don't know Edward..." he smiled again. "Just say yes, please? I won't force you to talk to me. You can just sit there and draw if you want to. Please..?" I sighed again and nodded my head. He gave me his crooked grin and we finished cleaning in silence before we all went home to our own rooms.

I have a feeling that lunch might be awkward today...

~-~-~

AN: Wow, super long chapter today. What do you guys think? Tell me what you liked and what you didn't :). What do you think of Mark's history? And what do you think Edward wants to talk to Bella about? Also, what do you think will happen between Mark and Jacob? There is a Mark POV next chapter so you can see it from his perspective and also get into his head a little to understand him better. He's one of my favourite characters now.

Song list for this Chapter: (Yes, I know there are a lot.)

Cha Cha Slide – Casper

Cyclone – Baby Bash

Because of you – Kelly Clarkson

We are family – Christina Anguilera

I'll be your lover too – Robert Pattinson

Strong Enough – Sheryl Crow

Please leave me a review with your thoughts; I would love to hear them.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Lies

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used

AN: Oh my gosh. I am sooo sorry guys. Real life just seemed to get in the way the last few weeks and I haven't been able to write at all. I promise I will try to update now at least once a week. And if everything goes good, I'll have the next chapter for you on the weekend. I'm so sorry for the long wait.

Italics are thoughts that Edward listens to. And also song lyrics. Sorry for any mistakes, I still don't have a BETA, if you are interested; please let me know in a review. Enjoy the chapter :D.

Chapter Thirteen: _Lies_

~-~-~

"The truth may hurt for a little while but a **lie** hurts forever."

"True love won't **lie**, but you won't know unless you give it a try. Cupid doesn't **lie**, but you won't know unless you give it a try."

_Unknown_

~-~-~

MPOV (Mark)

I took a deep breath and held the angel in my arms a little tighter. Izzy feels so perfect when she is in my arms. There's nothing better than that. "The sun will be coming up soon... we should probably leave... I need to lock up." Izzy said softly, sadly. I know how much she likes this place. I like it just as much. It was where Izzy and I shared our very first kiss. We would drive for hours just to get here and sit and talk to John. He's like a father to us all. Especially to Izzy. I got to my feet and pulled her up with me. "I'll stay and help you clean up." I didn't want her to do it by herself, even though she could finish it in less than five minutes. She gave me a small smile. "Thanks. So, who is gonna wake the doggy and his girl friend?" I looked around and saw them both asleep. Nessie was on the couch and Jake was lying in a little ball on the ground. I shook my head, that boy can fall asleep anywhere. "I will. I need to make time to talk to him later any way." She nodded and started cleaning as I made my way over to the pooch on the floor.

"Wake up Rover. It's time to play fetch." I joked as I touched my hand to his arm. He shot up from the sudden cold and gave me a disbelieving look. I could hear Izzy laughing at Jake and me and smiled too. "I'd rather play fetch in my dreams." He said sleepily and I laughed."I thought you'd be doing other things in your dreams?" I joked as I moved my head towards the still sleeping Nessie. Jake smiled and then blushed. "No, we want to wait until we are married. Make it more special." I smiled at him. "You know, I plan to ask her soon. I already have the ring..." He said softly and I gave him a grin. "I'll be your best man." He grinned back. "Never thought I would say this to a leech. But I would like nothing better." We shook hands and I pulled him up into a manly hug/back pat while we grinned. "You know, I was thinking of asking Izzy the same thing before they showed up." I said very softly so Izzy wouldn't hear me. He gave me a sad smile. "I know. But you know she would have said no." I nodded my head. "Yeah I know. She wasn't over him yet then. She still isn't." I let out a sad sigh. Jake laughed. "That's not what I meant. Bells hates the idea of marriage. Her parents got divorced remember. And her mom always lectured her to wait before she gets married. But yes I know she's not over the bloodsucker yet. But she will be." I gave him a small smile. I know that Izzy doesn't like the idea of marriage. I just hoped that she would see how much she meant to me if I asked her. "That's what I want to talk to you about. Would you come back to my room so we can talk in private? You can bring Nessie." I smiled as he grinned at me and looked over to the woman lying on the couch. "Sure sure. I'll get her and then we can go." I nodded and we all made our way home before the sun could rise.

~-~-~

Jake put a still sleeping Nessie in my bed and joined me on the sofa. "You want to know if there is still a chance for you and Bells?" He asked as he sat down. I nodded my head. "It's difficult to say. There are stories in my tribe that tell of it happening. But it's even rarer than imprinting in the first place. And I don't know if you guys work the same way as us." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and nodded my head sadly. "But of what I saw this morning and about what you told me happened yesterday, I would say you definitely have a chance." I looked up at him. "But is it fair to her? I love Izzy more than life itself Jake. I would die to protect her, to make her human again... she is everything I have ever wanted, all I have ever needed. I could never hurt her on purpose. But I want it to be fair to her. I don't want to keep fighting if it is just going to cause her more pain." Jake looked at me with concerned eyes.

"You would give her up if she was happier with the bloodsucker?" I nodded my head. "It would kill me, but yes. I... I just want her to be happy Jake. I want what is best for her. And if that is him, then I will leave and let her be happy. He really isn't a bad guy. A stupid guy for leaving, but he isn't bad." Jake snorted. "He is the very worst kind of bad Mark. He killed her more than once. I had to see her. I had to see the pain in her eyes every single day after he left. The day she ran into you. That was the first day that the pain dimmed a little. _You_ made her happy again. You still make her happy. I can see it. Last night, while you were dancing, her face lit up and I can't remember ever seeing her happier than in that moment. And when you sang to her, she looked like the old Bella again, but a better Bella. A happier one." I smiled a sad smile. "She looked like my Izzy... but that is what worries me. She seems like two different people. She is Izzy, but she is also Bella." Jake nodded his head. "I know what you mean. Since the bloodsucker's been back in the picture she changed into the vulnerable Bella again. It's like he takes her back to the point where he is stronger than her, where he has to protect and defend her. He weakens her somehow... makes her think like she's a little kid that can't do things on her own..." Jake stared out of the window, deep in thought as I just replayed our conversation in my head.

After a long moment I broke the silence. "What should I do Jake? I don't know what to do." Jake turned to look at me and he looked more serious than I have ever seen him. "Fight. Fight for her. Fight for you. Fight for love and happiness. Fight to make her see who she really is. Who she wants to be. When she met him, she didn't know who she was yet and he took that away from her. He made her his Bella and that was all she was. When he left, his Bella broke and Izzy was set free. I believe that she was always meant to be Izzy. That if she never met him, she would have been Izzy." Could that be right? Was my Izzy the real one? Was it who she was meant to be? Was she meant to be with me? "How can you be sure?" Jake looked out the window again as he spoke. "Because I fell for Izzy." I was shocked. I never knew he felt that way about her. "After the bloodsucker left her, we started spending a lot of time together. That's when I saw the first glimpse of Izzy. And I fell for her just like you did. She was so strong without knowing it. Funny as hell and just so fun to be around. I tried to imprint on her but it wouldn't happen. When I met Nessie I understood why. I didn't love Bells the way I love Nessie, but at the time I thought I did. She was already becoming Izzy then and when she met you, you helped her become herself more and more. You helped her become Izzy, just like you have to do now. You have to show her Mark. Show her who she really is." I was taken aback by his words.

"How?" Was all I managed to get out. "By not giving up. By being yourself. I don't know, that is something you're going to have to figure out for yourself, but I'll help if I can. I want her to be happy and you make her happy. She's been far too sad for way too long." I nodded my head and knew what I had to do. I have to keep fighting. Even if I lose her. As long as she knows she has a choice. "What about you and Nessie? You said you already have the ring?" I asked softly so she wouldn't wake up. Jake beamed but looked a little nervous. "I want to ask her. I'm just scared of what she will say, and a bit of what Bells will say." I sighed. "She'll be happy for you and Nessie. But she'll warn you not to mess this up. That's all. We've kinda talked about this before." I admitted sheepishly and Jake looked at me with a confused expression. "Well how else do you think I know how she feels about marriage? I had to start the conversation somewhere." He shook his head and laughed nervously. "Sure sure. I know what you mean. And she said that she would be okay if I asked Nessie?" I smiled at him. "She said that she is surprised that you haven't asked her already." Jake grinned brightly and looked over to the bed. He looked so excited. "So, when will you ask her?" He looked back at me and looked a little nervous again. "This Friday. But don't tell Izzy or the rest yet, in case I chicken out or something happens." I saw Nessie stirring on the bed. "Jake..?" She asked sleepily and he went over to her. Love radiated off of them and I couldn't help but wish that Izzy and I could be like that someday soon. I won't give up on her. I won't give up on us. Not without a fight.

~-~-~

Jake and Nessie left half an hour before school started to go and say goodbye to Izzy. I've had so much to think about since we talked. And I knew I was going to fight, I just didn't know how. 'Be yourself' I heard Jake's voice say in my head and I was out the door. I made my way towards the cafeteria where we normally go before school. I was so happy to see Izzy sitting at our table that I couldn't help but grin. "Someone seems happy this morning?" Jack said as I approached the table and everyone turned to look at me, including the Cullens. I shrugged as I sat down next to Izzy and she gave me a breath taking smile. I softly traced the back of her hand with my finger under the table and smiled even more when the spark between us almost burned with intensity. "Good morning." I softly said in her ear like I normally would have done. She shivered and then giggled. "Morning yourself. I saw you just a few hours ago." She laughed and I smiled at her. "It's been too long already." I said as I took her hand in mine under the table and intertwined our fingers. Currents of electricity flowed between our hands, warming and almost burning. She looked down at our hands with a curious expression on her face. A smile tugging at her lips.

Jack cleared his throat and Izzy and I laughed. "Good morning everyone." I said to the table and Jack smiled. "Good morning Mark. So what has you so happy this morning?" Jack said trying to sound like a father figure and I laughed. "I just had a good night, and I learned a secret this morning." I said with a big childlike smile. It was true, I did learn a secret. Jake was planning on asking Nessie to marry him this weekend but he asked that I not tell anyone yet in case he chickens out again. Izzy smiled at me and squeezed my hand so I would look at her. "I can keep a secret too." She said softly and I laughed at her. "I know you can my sweet Izzy, but you should find out about it this weekend if everything goes to plan." She looked down, thinking. "Is it about you or Jake?" She asked as she looked up again. "Hmmm I guess it's about Jake, but I will have a part in it later." I said trying to be mysterious. She gave me a frown and pouted her perfect lips. All I could think was about kissing them until they smiled again. Instead I tried to laugh.

"Izzy... it's not my secret to tell. Please let it be a surprise when it happens?" she continued to pout. "I could always drop my shield... Edward would tell me what you were thinking. He could tell me the secret." I brought our hands up a little and put my other hand on top of them, begging her softly. I heard someone gasp but I didn't care. I just needed to keep Jake's secret. I just wanted to make her curious. Not get her to expel in from me. "Please Izzy... please let Jake be the one to tell you. You will find out soon I promise." She stopped pouting and looked away from me. Her eyes looked a little hurt. "We don't keep secrets Mark..." She said softly and I felt like I melted. "I know we don't. Is that what this is all about?" She nodded her head and bit her bottom lip looking away again. I dropped our hands and held her in a tight embrace until she melted against me. "My sweet Izzy... we don't have any secrets from each other. I promise. But this..." I shook my head. "This is Jakes secret for now. I promise it is nothing bad. In fact, you will be so happy when he tells you. You'll be mad if you find out about it like this. Just trust me, please? You know me. You know Jake." I felt her nod her head and I knew she would drop it.

"I'm so sorry I made your insecurities come back. I didn't think you would react this way. You've never reacted like this. I thought you would just be curious and phone Jake. Chase him along. Like always." Izzy nodded her head and pulled away. "I'm sorry too; I don't know why I reacted so badly. I guess things just aren't normal anymore. I don't feel like myself..." she looked so lost and sad that I hugged her again. "Do you feel like Bella?" I asked so softly that no one else would hear. She pulled away and looked into my eyes, searching for something. "Yes... I... I think so... I can't be sure... I just don't feel like _me_." I bent over and talked in her ear, softly again. "Does that mean that you are Izzy?" I pulled back and looked at her face as she nodded. "Yes... I think I am." I couldn't help the big grin I got as she said that. She knows that she is Izzy. My wonderful and perfect Izzy. Susan let out a high pitched shriek and Izzy and I turned to look at the rest of the table again for the first time in minutes. "Would someone please tell me what is going on here?" She demanded with a huff. I looked at Izzy and her eyes were big. "Nothing. I just had to ask Izzy something." I said slowly looking at her for what to do. She nodded her head. "I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. But I think I might get better soon." She said slowly looking me in the eyes as she spoke and I gave her a small smile. I hope she does feel better soon.

The bell rang and we all went our separate ways to class. Class was boring as usual but it gave me a lot of time to think. Izzy noticed that she was acting more like Bella, the vulnerable human girl that she was when she met Edward. But she didn't want to be that person anymore. Does that mean that she doesn't want him anymore either? Or that she did, but she wanted to be Izzy while being with him? I can't be sure anymore. The bell finally rang to signal lunch and I made my way over to Izzy's class so I could walk her to lunch like usual. "Hi." She said softly as I made my way over to her. "Hi yourself." I said when I reached her. She smiled and I smiled back at her. We made our way in comfortable silence until we walked into the cafeteria. Izzy grabbed my hand to stop me and I looked back at her. "Don't be mad okay?" She asked and looked really worried. I gave her a small smile to reassure her. "Never." I promised and she eased up a bit. "I told Edward I would sit with him for lunch today. He said that he wanted to talk." I gave her a small hug as I laughed. "You worry too much Izzy. I'm not mad." She gave me a tentative smile. "Really?" I smiled again. "Really. I would have liked it more if you sat with me but, he's your friend and he wants to talk to you." She gave me a big smile and hug before she went off to the little table in the corner where Edward was waiting for her.

~-~-~

EPOV (Edward)

I can't believe my luck. Bella agreed to sit with me for lunch. I was giddy with hope. Maybe it wasn't too late for us after all. I had almost given up all hope when I saw her and Mark dancing last night. They were so in synch and she was so happy. Maybe I should just give up? Maybe it would be better for her if I did? No, I'm too selfish to give her up. And the song she sang last night when she went outside. She wanted me to fight, I know that. I wanted to be the one to go to her but Mark beat me to it. It seems he is always one step ahead of me. And I am always left to play catch up. Well at least I am fast. There was a knock on my door and Alice came walking in and sat next to me on the bed.

"He's not giving up." She stated without looking at me. "Neither am I Alice." I promised. "I don't know if it will be enough Edward. I can't see what is going to happen between the three of you." I let out a breath. "She hasn't decided?" Alice shook her head. "No, her future is totally unclear. The vision changes every few minutes. It's like she has two separate futures that she could lead." Two different futures? Two different lives... two different loves... "I understand. What can I do? What should I do? Should I fight or should I leave?" my mind was spinning and the questions just poured out of me. I don't want to leave. Would I be able to leave if it was better for Bella? I don't think so. I don't want her to be with anyone else. Call me selfish, call me whatever you want to, but I love her. I just hope it is enough. "I don't know Edward. I don't know if you should fight or leave. Either? Neither? I can't tell you. That is something that you will have to figure out. But I can tell you this. You need to earn her trust back before you can win her heart over. And you need to decide if you still want her." If I still want her? "What do you mean Alice? Why wouldn't I want her?" Alice let out a small sigh. "She isn't human anymore Edward and I saw what happened when you went to Alaska. I know you lied to Emmett the other day." With that Alice left the room without looking back at me.

I made my way over to the school cafeteria after Alice left, and sure enough everyone except Bella and Mark were there already. I nodded my greetings to everyone and listened in on their conversations. "There is going to be a battle of the bands show again on Friday this week. Are any of you planning on entering again?" Jack asked the table but stopped to look at me. I shrugged. I wasn't sure if I would. I wasn't sure what was going to happen this week. It will have to wait. Bella came walking into the cafeteria at that moment with a sad look on her face as she sat down. Susan gave her a sympathetic smile. "Did Jake and Nessie leave?" she asked in a soft voice and Bella nodded. "I miss them already. He was with Mark up until before they left." Susan smiled at her. "Jake and Mark really like each other don't they?" Bella seemed to cheer up as she nodded her head. "Yeah they do. I never thought Jake would be friends with any of _us_, but he really likes hanging out with all of us. He and Mark are like best friends or something." She laughed. "I think he might have replaced me in that department." Susan and Jack laughed. "Don't worry Izzy, Jake just sometimes needs to talk to a guy, I'm sure you're still his best friend."

Just then Mark walked into the cafeteria and got a big grin on his face. I felt anger build in me at his happy appearance. "Someone seems happy this morning?" Jack greeted as Mark walked up to the table. He just shrugged his shoulders and sat down next to Bella while she gave him a beautiful smile. I wish she would smile at me like that again. I heard him whisper good morning to her as she shivered and then giggled. "Morning yourself. I saw you just a few hours ago." She laughed as he smiled at her. "It's been too long already." He said and then Bella looked down at her lap, with a curious expression on her face? Why would she look curious? I could hear the rest of the people talking about something but I didn't listen to them. I was focused on Bella.

Jack cleared his throat and Bella and Mark laughed. "Good morning everyone." He said with an amused voice and everyone greeted him. Jack looked at him then and smiled. "Good morning Mark. So what has you so happy this morning?" Mark laughed and had this really bid child like grin on his face that reminded me of Emmett. "I just had a good night, and I learned a secret this morning." Bella smiled and he turned to look at her. How did he know she wanted him to look? I just wish I could read their minds. This is all so frustrating. "I can keep a secret too." She said softly and he laughed at her. "I know you can my sweet Izzy, but you should find out about it this weekend if everything goes to plan." She seemed to look down to think about what he said. "Is it about you or Jake?" she asked and now he looked thoughtful. "Hmmm I guess it's about Jake, but I will have a part in it later." Bella frowned and pouted her perfect lips. I couldn't help but remember how soft they were against mine.

"Izzy... it's not my secret to tell. Please let it be a surprise when it happens?" he whined at her but she continued her pout. "I could always drop my shield... Edward would tell me what you were thinking. He could tell me the secret." Bella said and I nodded. I would love to read his mind and find out if he is as good as he claims to be. As he seems to be... he raised his hand from under the table and to all of our surprise he was holding Bella's hand. I heard Alice gasp and her mind was screaming incoherently. I felt Jasper send her a wave of calm and she quickly thought of a song instead. "Please Izzy... please let Jake be the one to tell you. You will find out soon I promise." She looked away from him and I saw the hurt in her eyes. I wondered what would cause the sudden change in her mood. "We don't keep secrets Mark..." I heard her say softly and his eyes turned liquid and filled with emotion. "I know we don't. Is that what this is all about?" she nodded her head sadly and bit her bottom lip, which I now understand as to mean that she wants to cry. I felt my heart melt for her and all I wanted to do was hold her. But as usual, Mark beat me to it. He held her close until she relaxed. "My sweet Izzy... we don't have any secrets from each other. I promise. But this..." He shook his head. "This is Jakes secret for now. I promise it is nothing bad. In fact, you will be so happy when he tells you. You'll be mad if you find out about it like this. Just trust me, please? You know me. You know Jake." She nodded at him and I couldn't believe she would drop it so quickly. All he had to say was trust me and she did. I felt a big wave of jealousy flood through my body and Jasper put a calming hand on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry I made your insecurities come back. I didn't think you would react this way. You've never reacted like this. I thought you would just be curious and phone Jake. Chase him along. Like always." Mark told her soothingly and she just nodded while pulling her head away to look at him. "I'm sorry too; I don't know why I reacted so badly. I guess things just aren't normal anymore. I don't feel like myself..." Bella looked so sad and he gave her another hug saying something none of us could hear. She pulled away again and looked him straight in the eyes as she spoke. "Yes... I... I think so... I can't be sure... I just don't feel like _me_." What did she mean by that? Was there something wrong with her? Mark leaned forward again and whispered something. He pulled back as she nodded her head. "Yes... I think I am." She said softly and he smiled. Susan let out a frustrated shriek and pulled the two back to rest of the table. "Would someone please tell me what is going on here?" she said with a huff and I saw Bella's eyes go big with panic. "Nothing. I just had to ask Izzy something." Mark said slowly, looking toward Bella for confirmation. She nodded her head. "I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. But I think I might get better soon." She said slowly while looking at him and I felt like breaking something. If only she would let me read their minds!

The bell rang shortly after that and we all split up to go to our classes. My classes dragged on for what felt like days. I wasn't in the mood to try and listen to the same lectures over and over again. I wanted to see Bella. I wanted to know what was wrong with her. Why she didn't feel like herself. I wanted to know what I could do to earn her trust again. To win her heart. I couldn't think of anything I wanted more than Bella and if I wasn't so idiotic I would have still had her. She would still have been the wonderful, warm and soft human girl that I loved. And that loved a monster like me in return. She would still be able to blush the sweet red that I loved. I would still be able to hear her heart beat increase when I looked at her in a certain way or when we kissed. I would have protected her with my life if I had to. I still would.

The bell rang to signal lunch and I quickly made my way to the cafeteria. I was one of the first people there so I went to go and sit at the little table in the corner that Bella often used when she wanted to be alone. Slowly the cafeteria started filling up and I saw Bella and Mark enter. They talked a little and then she made her way over to our table with a small smile on her lips. "Hallo." I said softly as she pulled out her chair. "I don't talk if I don't want to right?" I nodded my head and she sat down. Looks like this isn't going to be easy. She's already on the defensive. She took out her notebook and pencils and turned it to a half drawn picture of what looked like Mark. "Do you mind if I continue this?" She asked softly when she saw I was staring. "No. I like watching you sketch. No matter what it is." I lied. I can't believe I just lied to her like that. Of course I mind that she is drawing him, how can I not? But I can't tell her that. "Good, I don't like stopping half way through to draw something else. You said you wanted to talk?" I gave her a small smile even though she wasn't even looking at me. "Yes, I did say that. And I do." She looked up from her sketch, pencil against her full pink lips, eyes staring up at me through her lashes and I was sent into overload. When she looks at me like that I feel like I'm going to lose control and snatch her up. I need to stop thinking like this. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate me attacking her like that in public.

"Well, talk, I'm listening." I looked at her again only to see that she was busy drawing again with a smile on her face. "Well I wanted to talk to you about us." I said slowly, trying to judge her reaction. She didn't have one, she just kept drawing and smiling. "What about us?" she asked softly when I didn't continue. I cleared my throat. "I want to be friends. I want you to be able to trust me again. I'll do anything to win your trust back. To win your heart back." She looked up at me again and gave me a small smile. "I'd like to be your friend. But are you sure that you can handle that? To be just my friend?" Would I be able to handle that? Probably not if she keeps looking at me like that, but I have to try. "Yes." She let out a tiny laugh. "Are you sure about that? What if I decide to date someone? Would you just stand back and let me?" Would I? Probably not, but I would try. "Yes." She smiled and looked down at her drawing again. "Even if I decided that I want to be with Mark?" A soft growl escaped my chest and Bella laughed. "I thought as much." She said Softly.

"If you want to be my friend then you have to mean it Edward. You have to be a real friend. One that will be happy just because I am, no matter who I choose to be with." I met her eyes and felt bitter towards her for the first time ever. "You mean, be like Mark? Just sit back and watch you loving someone else? I'm not Mark. I can't do that." I said a little louder than I meant to. She looked up at me again and her eyes looked hurt. "No, I mean be a good friend. I want you to be happy and if you were happy with someone else I would be happy for you. I don't want you to be Mark." I was angry now. "No, because no one can be like your perfect little Mark, can they?" Bella looked over at the other table where the rest of them were sitting and she shook her head. "Mark isn't perfect. No one is. Not me, not Mark, not you. No one." I felt a wave of calm hit our table and gave Jasper a glare before I turned back to Bella. "Maybe not, but if what you're saying is true, you've given up. You don't want me anymore." I accused her and she shook her head. "Don't put words into my mouth Edward. I didn't say that. What I did say is that I can't trust you not to hurt me again. That I want to be your friend and see if something can develop from that. I need to know that you won't leave again." I laughed a loud bitter laugh. "Friends?! You want to be my friend while you do God knows what with Mark? And what? I should just sit back and watch and hope that you will get bored of him and give me a try?" Bella started packing her things away without looking at me.

"See? I'm right. You can't have it both ways Bella!" She looked up at me before she stood up. Her eyes looked hurt and she looked angry, but I just couldn't care. "I would appreciate it if you would lower your voice. I'm sure the people in the other corner didn't hear you. And I don't want it both ways. I want someone who I can love and will love me back. Someone that won't hurt me. And when I find that person I want my friends to still be there. Just like I know Mark will be, and Alice and Susan and the rest. But as you just made it clear, you won't be. So what stops you from leaving me again like you did? What stops you from breaking my heart again? Nothing, that's what. I never gave up on us Edward. You did. You just threw me away. And by the way, my name is _Izzy_, not Bella. Bella is dead. _You_ killed her." I watched her storm out of the cafeteria, totally stunned into silence. I put my head in my hands and just sat there for a while.

"What is it Alice?" I asked as I looked up to see the pixie looking extremely mad at me. "You know what Edward. How could you do that? How could you say those things?" I rolled my eyes at her. "I only told the truth." I said in defence. "No, you haven't. You've been lying for a long time Edward. To everyone, including yourself and I'm tired of it." I looked up at her and felt my anger swell again. "What would you know of it pixie?" she gave a little huff. "I know more than you think." She thought about the time I spent in Alaska after we thought Bella died and again before I came to this school. "Stop lying to everyone Edward. And stop lying to yourself." I was angry again. "Why don't you stop trying to be miss al mighty that thinks she knows everything and just focus on your own life?" She shook her head and sighed. "Next time I will, but just so you know. This morning, I had a vision about Izzy's future. You weren't in it." She showed me her vision through her mind. I saw Mark standing in what looked like a church wearing a tux and I saw Bella walking towards him. She looked beautiful in a flowing green dress. "She's wearing green Alice." I stated simply even though inside I wasn't calm at all. Was that really her walking down the aisle towards Mark? Was she really going to marry him? Did I really just lose her? "I didn't say it was her wedding, although I can't tell you that it isn't. She did always say that she doesn't like a white wedding dress." I laughed again. "That doesn't prove anything Alice. It could be any wedding. And the future can still change." I said bitterly. "That might be true Edward, but if you keep acting the way you are, you won't be able to get her back. It might be too late already. Mark is with her as we speak and their bond is only getting stronger." What am I doing? Why am I acting like this? "Tell her the truth Edward. Or else it will come back to haunt you. I promise you that." I looked up at the pixie again and scowled. "Why? Are you going to be the one to tell her if I don't?" She shook her head. "No, I won't but it will come back to you. I have seen it happening. And it doesn't end well." I shook my head at her and got up out of my chair. "Whatever you say Alice."

I started walking back to my room. There was no way that I would be finishing school today. What did Alice mean that I've been lying to myself and to everyone? And what did she see happening that will come back to haunt me? But more importantly, why am I acting like this? I didn't want to fight with Bella. I wanted to be her friend but she just had to be difficult. Now what am I going to do? I can't just go and apologise to her because _he_ is with her. Do I even want to apologise? I don't know what I want anymore. I want Bella, but do I want this new Izzy? Izzy that isn't Bella at all. No, I don't want this new Izzy, but I do want Bella. And I know that Bella is inside her somewhere. I just have to find the right time to apologise...

~-~-~

AN: I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Please let me know if you liked the Mark POV. And what do you think Edward has been lying about? Let me know what you think in a review.

I just wanted to say sorry yet again for the long wait. I hope to hear what you think very soon. Even if it is just to yell at me for taking this long and then still ending it with a fight. So leave me a review with your thoughts and suggestions.


	15. Important Authors Note

_**Authors Note**_

Hey guys, don't get mad okay? I decided to stop this story where it is for now. I'm busy rewriting the whole thing and have the prologue posted already. The story's new name is **Faceless Angel**.

Please go check it out and **add it to your fav's and alerts** if you like this story.

It will still be the same story, it'll just be told a lot better. As soon as I see some activity on the new story I will post chapter one for it, but don't worry, I'm not just copy pasting from this story for it.

Also let me know what you think about the rewrite. Is it a good idea? Bad idea? **Let me know**.

Hope to hear from you all very soon. Also before I forget, please don't hesitate to send me a Private Message. **I love to hear from you guys and I'll answer all your questions**.


	16. To All My Wonderful Readers

**To all my Wonderful Readers.**

I am very sorry to say that unfortunately I will be pulling both my stories for now. I am not pulling for publishing or anything like that so don't worry. The reason I stopped working on PopRock was that I wanted to spend some time and rewrite it, to make it better, for both you the readers and me the author. That was how Faceless Angel was born and that is also how the story died. In the end, many real life things happened to me and I had to stop writing for a long time, but as you can see, I am back now. I am removing the two stories in just over a months' time (1st of June), gives you all the time to finish reading the stories/read them one more time before they will be gone for good.

I am hoping that after this month's time that I will have at least 5 chapters written for the story which will hopefully stay with the name Faceless Angel – unless I come up with something better :-P. (Opinions are LOVED). I will then start to post one chapter every week, probably on a Friday, but I will put a poll on my profile so you, my readers, can help decide posting days. I will post the Prologue first and then a day or two (depending on circumstances) later the first chapter will go up.

I am warning you now that there is going to be many changes to the story. The way I see the story in my head was just not working out the right way on paper until I made some drastic changes. I am happy to say that it is all going pretty well right now and the inspiration juices are finally flowing properly again. I hope you all will stick with me through this period of change and fall in love with the story in the same way that I have. I promise you all a much better story this time around.

If you haven't done so yet, please add me to your Author Alerts so that you will get the email when I do start posting the new story in June. I know it seems like a long time away but it will be worth the wait, I promise! Please also do not hesitate to contact me through PM or email (cutehoneybeaver at gmail dot com) about the story or even just to chat.

I want to say THANK YOU so much to all of you who have read my stories so far, who have added it to favourites and especially to those of you who have reviewed. It means the world to me that there is someone out there reading my story and loving it as much as I am. For a girl that has always wanted to be a writer, but knows she will never have the talent, that truly does mean the world. So THANK YOU all again.

I will let you all go now with a last request of a review to let me know what you think of what I have said. I really do hope you all will stick with the story and me.

Thank you again,

Juanita (HoneyBeaver)

**PS** I am in need of a Beta for my story as well as a pre-reader or two. If you think you would be interested, please let me know through review, PM or email. Betas will receive the next chapter either as soon as I am done with it, or when the previous chapter is posted. Pre-readers will get the chapter as soon as the Beta is finished with it or 3-4 days before the posting date so changes can still be made if necessary. I think that is it for now. Updates on the story, Beta, pre-readers etc will be posted on my profile so remember to check in there occasionally.


End file.
